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GoldenDelicious
New member
normally i wouldnt tell you guys about the more embarrassing parts of my life, but the chat board is a bit like alien amp pharms bedroom lately - full of limp dicks, chicks not putting out, flab, and a funny smell. SO. im going to type for a bit, until i get bored
anyway, the other night, i was out on the town with a gang of suspected penis pumpers (aka my buddies lol
) having a coffee and a prowl, and im sorry to say it, but i was in a bad mood. - which is a shame, because, just for something different borbors...i was looking good REALLY good 
seriously. i heard at least 3 chicks necks snap like rotten twigs from twisting to check me out so fast 
someone get me a burkha before we run out of wheelchairs
so, my wit was razor sharp that night, and i was destroying opponents like Quigley with a gun in his mouth - promo girls, random drunks, waitresses, penis pumpers...no one was safe...theyd say something cheeky (cheeky = "hello" lol) and it was over. humiliated. i was having a great time ...until...The Bitch came along 
from the corner of my eye, i spotted a trio of girls walking along, one of whom was wearing a pair of very short white shorts now normally, this would be a welcome sight, but the thing was that i KNEW that pair of shorts, and the ass stuffed into them...she was the sometime skanky plaything of a guy i know, and the reason i knew them so well was that i had seen her wearing them 5 times in a row. 5. 5! who the fuck wears something white 5 times a row in the tropics? in a WEEK? i dont even want to THINK about the stains on the insides of that thing 
wait. just thought of them. vag blots. eeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwww
anyway, next to her was a girl i have seen transform over the years from a young, perky, HOT chick, into a filthy, nasty skank with HIV jumping all over her like a flea circus - her ass was hanging so low it was kind of smooshing into her thighs with each step, her formerly tight abs had the loose skinned look and sex appeal of a used condom....yuk. i honestly wouldnt be surprised if she went to the toilet one day for an extra big poop and walk out later holding a baby. and the horrible thing? i was lying about the transformation taking years. it took one. ONE.
and next to her came Miss Erotica 2005.
you guys can look for the pic. im not doin it.
so, the 3 Skanketeers were walking along promoting their pole dancing competition with flyers, approaching and offloading to randoms walking around the place, their eyes all agog with the sight of sleek female flesh (plus or minus a babys head hanging out of the arse of girl number 2) and finally, the skank asks me if id like a flyer for tomorrows show. i replied "no thanks, not really into that sort of thing...id just throw it away anyway, keep it" (notice, that golden = polite) to which she leans in, puts her paw on my shoulder and says "please...i get to go home as soon as i run out of leaflets". now, i know how much promo sucks, so i say "oh well, alright then" (again, notice that golden = polite) and accept a flyer - and then she pats me on the head like i were a dingo and says "off you go then." and walked away before i could throw the thing in her face
and...thats it. sorry if the story sucked, i dont really get pwned much...thats about as bad as it gets, really
cheerios
oh. also, im going to a party tonite where there should be a bunch of finalists in some little black dress competition, so id appreaciate it if all you mofos wished me luck so that i can go out and not get laid (as usual), but this time with the knowledge that my EF buddies love me anyway. ta
anyway, the other night, i was out on the town with a gang of suspected penis pumpers (aka my buddies lol
) having a coffee and a prowl, and im sorry to say it, but i was in a bad mood. - which is a shame, because, just for something different borbors...i was looking good REALLY good seriously. i heard at least 3 chicks necks snap like rotten twigs from twisting to check me out so fast someone get me a burkha before we run out of wheelchairs so, my wit was razor sharp that night, and i was destroying opponents like Quigley with a gun in his mouth - promo girls, random drunks, waitresses, penis pumpers...no one was safe...theyd say something cheeky (cheeky = "hello" lol) and it was over. humiliated. i was having a great time
...until...The Bitch came along from the corner of my eye, i spotted a trio of girls walking along, one of whom was wearing a pair of very short white shorts
now normally, this would be a welcome sight, but the thing was that i KNEW that pair of shorts, and the ass stuffed into them...she was the sometime skanky plaything of a guy i know, and the reason i knew them so well was that i had seen her wearing them 5 times in a row. 5. 5! who the fuck wears something white 5 times a row in the tropics? in a WEEK? i dont even want to THINK about the stains on the insides of that thing wait. just thought of them. vag blots. eeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwww
anyway, next to her was a girl i have seen transform over the years from a young, perky, HOT chick, into a filthy, nasty skank with HIV jumping all over her like a flea circus - her ass was hanging so low it was kind of smooshing into her thighs with each step, her formerly tight abs had the loose skinned look and sex appeal of a used condom....yuk. i honestly wouldnt be surprised if she went to the toilet one day for an extra big poop and walk out later holding a baby. and the horrible thing? i was lying about the transformation taking years. it took one. ONE.
and next to her came Miss Erotica 2005.
you guys can look for the pic. im not doin it.
so, the 3 Skanketeers were walking along promoting their pole dancing competition with flyers, approaching and offloading to randoms walking around the place, their eyes all agog with the sight of sleek female flesh (plus or minus a babys head hanging out of the arse of girl number 2) and finally, the skank asks me if id like a flyer for tomorrows show. i replied "no thanks, not really into that sort of thing...id just throw it away anyway, keep it" (notice, that golden = polite) to which she leans in, puts her paw on my shoulder and says "please...i get to go home as soon as i run out of leaflets". now, i know how much promo sucks, so i say "oh well, alright then" (again, notice that golden = polite) and accept a flyer - and then she pats me on the head like i were a dingo and says "off you go then." and walked away before i could throw the thing in her face
and...thats it. sorry if the story sucked, i dont really get pwned much...thats about as bad as it gets, really
cheerios
oh. also, im going to a party tonite where there should be a bunch of finalists in some little black dress competition, so id appreaciate it if all you mofos wished me luck so that i can go out and not get laid (as usual), but this time with the knowledge that my EF buddies love me anyway. ta
