"Creatine knocks my imune system to the gutter, I get a cold very easy. "
It's not the creatine.
"the guy prepares the shit himself"
Don't tell us it's the creatine until you've taken a legit brand of quality pure creatine.
There is creatine citrate and pyruvate out there along with other "private blends" that will upset the stomach. While creatine can certainly cause osmotic diarrhea in some people if taken on an empty stomach (water or no water), some of these other problems sound like the additives or contaminants, not the creatine.
Try Eclipse brand. Been using and selling it for years. Very few problems and if there are GI problems, taking smaller doses with food usually solves the problem.
W6