Funniest thing you've ever seen at the gym.

[Abbaddon]

ongoing cycle at the gym I train at. We do not allow people to wear sandles at the gym why ......common sense. Anyway we got this guy who joined about 2 months ago and every time he comes in we have to tell him to put shoes on instead of sandles. So the other week I am fed up with it and I ask him why we have to tell him every day to put shoes on. He says he has seen tons of pics of Arnold working out without any shoes so he doesnt see why he couldnt just wear sandles. I tried to explain to him about hitting his toe on something dropping a plate the whole nine yards to the point were this 25 ish about 40 pound over weight kid is yelling at me that he helps pay my salary with his membership and he will wear whatever the hell he wants in the gym and if I dont like it him and I can take it outside. Now pretty much the entire gym is laughing now since I am about 50 pounds heavier than him and most of his weight is in fat. I tell the GM of the gym what he said. The boss says fuck it let him learn the hard way. So I tell the guy not a problem work out in whatever he wants, sorry for the aggrivation, and please dont every threaten a employee of the gym again. He starts screaming and yelling at me and as I turn my back to walk away from him he comes at me. He catches his two outer toes on the base of a dumbbell rack and you hear the bones crunching over the music. He has broken both toes and a bone in his foot along with ripping out the nail on the toe next to the pinky toe while trying to run after me from behind. He starts screaming and yelling about lawsuit this and lawsuit that. The GM runs out and says "sir we have 20 witnesses that said you would work out in whatever you wanted after the gym tried to get you to wear protective shoes now sire would you like an ambulance at your expense?"

kinda sick I know but there is a thing call Karma

 

[Garza]

One day after finishing my squats, i sit down on a bench for a moment.

There is a skinny black kid that comes over to the squat rack and puts 2 wheels on each end. (225 lbs) I thought to myself, "Oh my God, if this kid can rep 225 then I quit!"

It turns out he barely even bent his knees, he didn't squat it a fifth of the way.


This isn't really anything emberassing but it made me laugh.

I had just started doing deadlifts and I think I was using like 265 and maxing out with it or something. I did about 3 sets of 2. I was torturing myself and just to the left of me were these guys doing what I guess you would call cable side bends. They were doing those whilst telling their son how to get big with bodybuilding and here I was, sweat dripping off of me, etc etc.


There was a guy who came to the gym with his family a few times. He looked like eminem plus 50 lbs, dressed like him, too. He kept watching me and stuff while I was working out and then he'd go load up a leg press with like 3 wheels on each side and do it for like 2 reps, then leave and go play basketball lol.


There was one day where I was deadlifting and I farted while picking up the bar for the first rep, luckily there were not a whole lot of people in the gym, but it stunk the place up pretty badly.

 

[Exodus]

i see a couple of comics in my gym too

1. guy comes in and does an almost ok routine.... unltil he gets to the dips..... he bends his arms 2inches and brings his legs up (like he is doing abb leg raises) as high as he can.... and then lowers them all the way back down..... it makes for a funny show..... he looks like he is doing full dips..... yet his arms only move 2 inches?

2. this one old guy who thinks he is funny.... he grabs and 80lbs db puts it on the preacher mach and he stands infront of it..... he picks it up.... bends over 45 degrees and swings with all his mighty strength to he brings the bar up to parallel with the floor and then he drops it all the way bag down where he procedes to bend back over for the next rep...... his arms have not grown an inch.... he has been doing this same excercise for 10 reps for as many sets as he can do in an hour every saturday for the past year.....i kinda feel bad when he compliments how much ive grown?

and of course..... how could i forget the guy who wants to be the next arnold/ronnie/flex by doing the same arm and chest workout with the same weight every week..... that guy scares me?....to think he is actually seriously competitive?

 

[the People's Champ]

there is this older guy who is always wrapped up (joints). when he does squats, he has 3 45lb plates on each side. he looks trong, but not that strong, so he takes the bar off the rack and proceeds to slightly bends his knees, and then goes back up for like 5 reps. all the time, he is grunting, breathing hard, making painful expressions with his face. just something that amuses me between sets

 

[FitFossil]

We have this guy that gets on the cable lat pulldown, loads it up heavy and then pulls and jerks so fast and hard that he bends over backwards on every rep. He goes so far backward, his head's practically touching the floor! Then on the last rep, he'll let go so the weights crash down.

Hmmm, maybe he's using it as a combo back extension/ab machine rather than a lat pulldown - mystery solved? Nah...he's been doing it for years and still has the same big gut.

 

[estropes]

3 Stories

First Dad and I used to work out. One day we were talking to each other, not paying attention. We go to walk from the locker room to the Gym, and he totally forgot to put on short, so in his tighty whities he starts walking out. Before he got all the way out I told him....still laughing at that on.

Than there is a 100 year old lady at the gym (I'm serious I give her props everytime I see her there, I hope I'm hitting it at 100) but anyway she always grabs a 5 pound weight one handed military press, as fast as she can. I swear she's going to take off one day, the skin under her arm is swinging so fast it looks like she's about to fly away. I've talked to her about slowing down, but she just keeps doing it any way.

Third and final I was about 16 years old, working out with my dad. I was on the lower back machine. This over weight beer gut SOB come up and totally goes "No your doing that wrong you need to speed up, your doing them to slow" I just look at him and say "Fu<k you", I thought my dad was going to shit a brick laughing so hard. I though I was going to get my ass kicked by the old guy but he finally just walked away. It just slipped I didn't even mean to say it, I was thinking it and it just came out. I never did see that guy in the gym again.

 

[tripleV]

thanks, that was the good laugh i was needin'

 

[John Holmes]

I have a few more.

There was this old, "I used to be a powerlifter" guy who would load up a bar for shrugs, I mean like 500 lbs, and he'd take a step back, and kind of bounce with his knees a couple of times, while grunting and gasping, of course.

There was another "I used to be huge" guy who still thought he could bench 405, so he'd get all psyched and his partner would help him lift off, and he'd bounce the bar off his chest and just scream, and swear, arch his back, basically turn purple. He'd yell "FUCKING COCKSUCKER!!!!" Needless to say, the entire gym stopped to watch.

And finally, this is not really funny, more strange. This pretty big guy would load up the smith machine, lie on a bench and do leg presses. Huh?

 

[dragon183]

We had a guy at my old gym that would come in and do a whole body workout, once or twice a week. He would be in there for at least 7 hours, doing everything you can imagine. He used to tell my workout partner and I that he was going to be as big as us in eight months. he funniest thing he did was this: He would load up the leg press with about 600 lbs, get in the seat, and then proceed to "bounce" the sled off of the lockouts. He thought he was cool, until we told him he was doing it wrong. When he did it our way, going slow and not using the lockouts as cheaters, he could barely do 200. It was great. After that day we never did see him again.

 

[Garza]

Here is anothe rgood one.

I go to a gym in Florida and we have alot of retirees here. We have one at my gym who is the classic old guy, big beer gut, about 6 ft, 220 or so. Anyways, this guy thinks he's the work out king. He is from the Bronx and comes down here at certain times of the year to terrorize all of us. He will come up to you right in the middle of you doing a set and try to give you one of lifes little lessons. I decided to fuck around with him a bit, I told him I drank and smoked pot and he about went crazy haha. I was doing a set of curls and right in the middle of the workout he would come over and talk to me. He thinks he is a health expert and thinks he actually doesn't look bad. There is a guy that comes in wearing jeans and what not when he works out, everytime the old man and guy see each other the old man says "Hey kid you're not allowed to wear street clothes in here." The guy thinks he owns the damn place. That pisses me off. The first day I was there even the owner told me "yeah this guy scott bugs the hell out of everyone, I don't know how he makes it up in NY." It's funny to hear something like that coming from the owner because he usually pretends to like everyone.