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GUYS - Are you honest with women about..

Lestat

Lestat

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the number of chicks you have had sex with?

I'd imagine that once the number gets too high its a turn off to women, especially initially. How do you get around that? Just never fessing up? Or do you just under estimate?

I've been sexually active 11 years, only had 2 serious long term girlfriends that took up about 2 years each. That leave 7 years of almost casual sex... that can do some damage.

Also, on a side note that is somewhat related... since I'm jumping back into the dating scene I got STD tested. (I used to do this once a year before I got serious with my last girlfriend). Proud to say I am still clean on all counts.
 
I still haven't figured that one out.

If I was definitely looking for a serious relationship, I would leave it open ended... I would be very vague and let her figure it out gradually. I wouldn't want to have any regrets and I wouldn't want to have to pretend. There's no reason you have to be forthright or answer all of her questions at first.

But it's hard because "looking" for a relationship would not be my idea of enjoyment. I say something different to each girl... if something turned into a relationship, I might have to deal with some lies.
 
I don't like to date goody two shoes chicks in the first place, so if she's curious/naive/stupid enough to ask, I'd tell her.

I, like you, have a long time of casual dating with only two relationships, both long term.

SoreArms Dating Stats
Age 27
started dating: 15
first got laid: 17
first real relationship: 21
duration of relationship: 1.5 years
second relationship: 23
duration of relationship: 3+ years
total partners: unkown, but not exageratedly high, I just can't remember. Estimated in the low 30's.
current status: single

Personally, I learned my lesson about asking, so I don't any more. Yes, I can be/have been a bit slutty, but I am into total commitment when in a relationship, and thats what should matter!
 
If I meet someone with LT potential and she asks (I never ask like SA, prolly don't want to know anyway) I just tell her "That's in the past,it's not something I'm proud of, and I'd like to leave it there and start fresh with you. If it really is important I'll tell you, but I'd rather not cloud up the future with the past."

At 36 if a person doesn't have baggage the haven't been alive, and no matter what people say, or how secure they think they are, it is always an issue better left unsaid
 
Last edited:
No,

and that is the one thing in my life I regret and am ashamed of.

I wish I hadn't slept with as many women as I have.
 
I keep both women`s phone numbers with me at all times. Just in case the chick needs references.
 
you are in a negotiation, always find out her number first, never crack or give a direct answer, drives 'em crazy too
 
I can't recall the last time a girl even asked me that.
 
I must admit it makes me uncomfortable, and I don't think it's particularly relevant.

You reserve the right not to answer.
 
I know this thread was directed at the guys, but let me say that as a woman, I couldn't see myself coming out and asking the question ina direct manner. Id only ask if he asked me first, then I might say "and what about you?" lol. but still its awkward.

Frankly, we have to be reasonable enough to know that people have pasts and what or who they did previously shouldnt solely determine who they are now. As long as they are clean then it's all good. Im not foolish enough to think that anyone I meet at this point in my life (I'm 33 yrs od) has not had sex before they met me >LOL
 
I have a don't ask dont' tell policy and have been advised by a girl and two guys who are friends of mine to NEVER admit my true number. If asked I have an answer ready.

"It does not matter how many other girls I have been with, because they were not as special as you, and I am with you now."
 
Lestat said:
the number of chicks you have had sex with?

I'd imagine that once the number gets too high its a turn off to women, especially initially. How do you get around that? Just never fessing up? Or do you just under estimate?

I've been sexually active 11 years, only had 2 serious long term girlfriends that took up about 2 years each. That leave 7 years of almost casual sex... that can do some damage.

Also, on a side note that is somewhat related... since I'm jumping back into the dating scene I got STD tested. (I used to do this once a year before I got serious with my last girlfriend). Proud to say I am still clean on all counts.
Click to expand...

Bro, in your case I don't think she's gonna get upset when you tell her of the two girls you slept with.













Now all they guys you've slept with might be a different story.
 
BodyByFinaplix said:
"It does not matter how many other girls I have been with, because they were not as special as you, and I am with you now."
Click to expand...

That answer is ONLY acceptable if it's TRUE. Nothing worse than saying something like that when it isnt the truth.
 
Last edited:
SoreArms said:
if she was curious/naive/stupid enough to ask, I'd tell her
Click to expand...

Most of the chicks (or guys) that ask this are immature and will end up having some kind of jealousy issue....

The STD check thing is good... I was prolly the only guy I knew who ALWAYS used a condom each and every time, no matter how long I had been with a chick, and looked out for stuff like this... I never got anything, hopefully due to my precautions...

I hope the rest of you do too...
 
Smurfy said:
That answer is ONLY acceptable if it's TRUE. Nothing worse than saying something like that when it isnt the truth.
Click to expand...
Well, if I am worried about what she would think about me, and it causing problems in a relationship by her knowing the number then obviously it would be true. I wouldn't date girl for more than a month than I didn't think was special.
 
BodyByFinaplix said:
Well, if I am worried about what she would think about me, and it causing problems in a relationship by her knowing the number then obviously it would be true. I wouldn't date girl for more than a month than I didn't think was special.
Click to expand...

good enough :)


i don't care what these guys say about you, you're alright in my book
 
maybe you people shouldn't have been such whores lol

only 4 for me. 3 were long time girlfriends and the 4th was a good friend while my fiance was there. :)
 
Smurfy said:
good enough :)


i don't care what these guys say about you, you're alright in my book
Click to expand...

Thanks Smurfet. Yeah, I am not one of those guys who dates a girl and tells her her cares about her and really doesn't. In all honesty, if a guy just wants to get laid there is no need to date, just find girls looking for the same. The purpose of dating is to find out if you are compatible with, and just get to know someone better that you met and enjoyed the company of initially.
 
if it is important to her, I lose interest pretty freaking fast.
 
Its not a question I'd expect to come up early on.. not at all...

I honestly don't know my exact number, I usually avoid the question and say "about a dozen" .. again I wouldn't expect this to come up until way later on into a relationship, however its normal to be curious about your partner.. to want to know as much about them as possible.
 
Two rules of thumb when asking such questions.

1 - Do not ask questions that you are not prepared to handle the answer to.

2 - Do not ask questions that you already know the answer to.


I think that sums that up right there.
 
velvett said:
1 - Do not ask questions that you are not prepared to handle the answer to.

2 - Do not ask questions that you already know the answer to.
Click to expand...

3 - If you find that you MUST be asking, don't you kind of already know the answer?
 
Why are people ashamed of having slept with many partners? Are you afraid you will be judged poorly for it?
 
casualbb said:
Why are people ashamed of having slept with many partners? Are you afraid you will be judged poorly for it?
Click to expand...


I think it just and to the possible speculation of what a person may be like in the future regardless of who the past may or may not effect the future.

It kinda falls along the belief that once a cheater always a cheater (once a Ho always a ho sort of idea).
 
velvett said:
Of course.

That's really what I was getting at...

:chomp:
Click to expand...

lol serious....

like the "if you have to ask you can't afford it" thing...
 
Becoming said:
lol serious....

like the "if you have to ask you can't afford it" thing...
Click to expand...


OMG - It's totally wild.

I have had clients that will purchse 50-75k of furniture and furnishings and then demand to know how much the delivery will be for all the items.

I've never been able to get over that - you drop 50k and your dancing over less than 5% of what you just purchased.
 
velvett said:
OMG - It's totally wild.

I have had clients that will purchse 50-75k of furniture and furnishings and then demand to know how much the delivery will be for all the items.

I've never been able to get over that - you drop 50k and your dancing over less than 5% of what you just purchased.
Click to expand...

yes, both sayings are completely true I have found...
 
velvett said:
Two rules of thumb when asking such questions.

1 - Do not ask questions that you are not prepared to handle the answer to.

2 - Do not ask questions that you already know the answer to.


I think that sums that up right there.
Click to expand...

Smart woman.
 
velvett said:
OMG - It's totally wild.

I have had clients that will purchse 50-75k of furniture and furnishings and then demand to know how much the delivery will be for all the items.

I've never been able to get over that - you drop 50k and your dancing over less than 5% of what you just purchased.
Click to expand...
Just got off the phone with a company that was going to charge me $132 for UPS Ground shipping on a 4lb camera.

That was OK until they said it would also take 2-3 weeks.


We get hosed enough on shipping terms.......we start asking questions.
 
JerseyArt said:
If I meet someone with LT potential and she asks (I never ask like SA, prolly don't want to know anyway) I just tell her "That's in the past,it's not something I'm proud of, and I'd like to leave it there and start fresh with you. If it really is important I'll tell you, but I'd rather not cloud up the future with the past."

At 36 if a person doesn't have baggage the haven't been alive, and no matter what people say, or how secure they think they are, it is always an issue better left unsaid
Click to expand...


Yeah, I highly doubt anyoness a saint 100% of the time.
 
Testosterone boy said:
Just got off the phone with a company that was going to charge me $132 for UPS Ground shipping on a 4lb camera.

That was OK until they said it would also take 2-3 weeks.


We get hosed enough on shipping terms.......we start asking questions.
Click to expand...


132!


That's insane.



I agree with you but home furniture delivery is extremely different from UPS, DHL, FEDEX shipping or furniture freight carriers.
 
you need to find a girl who thinks it's cool for you to recollect your experiences to her
 
Lestat said:
the number of chicks you have had sex with?

I'd imagine that once the number gets too high its a turn off to women, especially initially. How do you get around that? Just never fessing up? Or do you just under estimate?

I've been sexually active 11 years, only had 2 serious long term girlfriends that took up about 2 years each. That leave 7 years of almost casual sex... that can do some damage.

Also, on a side note that is somewhat related... since I'm jumping back into the dating scene I got STD tested. (I used to do this once a year before I got serious with my last girlfriend). Proud to say I am still clean on all counts.
Click to expand...


Yes....
 
its kinda sad tho when you can divide your number of guys you have had sex with into the number he has:(
like 6 times
 
SoKlueles said:
its kinda sad tho when you can divide your number of guys you have had sex with into the number he has:(
like 6 times
Click to expand...
so hammy has had sex with alot of guys :worried:
 
I'd never admit it in person...
Fucking pathetic, am I.
 
Lestat said:
the number of chicks you have had sex with?

I'd imagine that once the number gets too high its a turn off to women, especially initially. How do you get around that? Just never fessing up? Or do you just under estimate?

I've been sexually active 11 years, only had 2 serious long term girlfriends that took up about 2 years each. That leave 7 years of almost casual sex... that can do some damage.

Also, on a side note that is somewhat related... since I'm jumping back into the dating scene I got STD tested. (I used to do this once a year before I got serious with my last girlfriend). Proud to say I am still clean on all counts.
Click to expand...

Proud to say that your clean? More like fortunate. I would tell them.
 
SoKlueles said:
its kinda sad tho when you can divide your number of guys you have had sex with into the number he has:(
like 6 times
Click to expand...


Hammy has had sex with 6 times as many guys as you? I bet he'd like to know that!
 
I don't care as long as they guy's been recently tested. I've never thought it was a big deal. I don't get why it's really something I'd get a lot of opinion on since he wasn't involved with me then.
 
I've never had a woman ask. That's the kind of thing that worries guys more than women, I think.
 
Raina said:
I don't care as long as they guy's been recently tested. I've never thought it was a big deal. I don't get why it's really something I'd get a lot of opinion on since he wasn't involved with me then.
Click to expand...

It can say something about their character. If a man has slept with over 100 women, he probably doesn't think much of women other than that they are there for his pleasure and use and doesn't care if they get hurt or not. Of course, people are capable of changing.
 
lol, I sent you a package and now its messsing wth my computer
 
It came up in conversation when my husband and I first started dating in 1997. He told me I was the 4th woman he had slept with.

Fast forward to 2005 and we happened to be discussing parts of our past and he tells me about some of his escapades prior to us dating. I start adding and the number climbs WAYYYY past 4. So I mentioned that he had told me previously it had only been 4.

He says: "I told you that? Damn, that was GAME!"

And for the record... I wasn't mad. I laughed.
 
Lestat said:
the number of chicks you have had sex with?

I'd imagine that once the number gets too high its a turn off to women, especially initially. How do you get around that? Just never fessing up? Or do you just under estimate?

I've been sexually active 11 years, only had 2 serious long term girlfriends that took up about 2 years each. That leave 7 years of almost casual sex... that can do some damage.

Also, on a side note that is somewhat related... since I'm jumping back into the dating scene I got STD tested. (I used to do this once a year before I got serious with my last girlfriend). Proud to say I am still clean on all counts.
Click to expand...

Never exceed ten, seven or eight is always a safe number. What they don't know won't hurt them.
 
tuc biscuit said:
lol, sometimes, some women find a large number a turn on which is weird
Click to expand...
no, it's not weird. Means he's carrying desirable genetics.
 
If you can bring yourself to think like a woman, this number thing wouldn't be an issue.
 
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