ER your guess ain't worth a shit, I'm headed out of state for a couple of days just been fucking around with the kids today, catching hell from my wife and my girlfriend. Dieing is something we all do, I been around death all my life it seems like. And yes I'm very deperessed, nervous as fuck all the time, my kids are all that calms me. I been a fucking mess ever since I stoped joosing. I feel trapped like an animal. Shit just over whelms me when I'm not joosed to the gills, couple grams of test frontloaded and bout 1500mgs a week for 198 months I'll be good as new. Matter of fact I stopped by my office to pick up some joose, this shit is my life's blood.