My fiance left me

[Bikini Mod]

With or without a ring the civil ceremony is binding.

 

[wootoom]

yaa its a binding and then a crushing..im never getting married again..i promise

 

[Grumpy Old Man]

yaa its a binding and then a crushing..im never getting married again..i promise

I said the same thing brother!

Try renting or a lease option. Works for a while and is a lot more fun than doing the lawn

 

[Bikini Mod]

LOL

So should I have paid the 150 to get it resized? We turned it into the store when we planned on getting married, she left while it was still at the store, when I got it I had to pay 150 because of the resizing but should she have paid it?

I owe her 100 because she I took it out of her account the day she left me, but I lost about 500 profit on the ring

What do you mean by profit? You sayin that the ring:

1. appreciated THAT MUCH in value AFTER you bought it?

2. you had to turn down a buyer for the ring?

As for haggling over 150$, I understand the principle involved. Whoever paid for the resizing is out the money because the ring ended up back in the jeweler's possession. However, 150$ is a small price to pay to sever all ties with someone. I guess if whoever is out the money felt strongly enough about the principle to take it to small claims court the judge might rule that the two of you split it equally or that SHE pay the money because afterall, she is the one who broke the engagement off.

If I were to advise either of you as a friend I would say to eat the money and call it a day. Imagine if this were only weeks before the wedding. You'd BOTH be out a substantial amount of cash, deposits in many cases (as in reception halls, photographers, tux rental, dresses, etc) are NON-REFUNDABLE PERIOD. Wedding dresses can run up into the thousands, easily several hundred, then you add the shoes, veil, etc - the money that all the groomsmen and bridesmaids are out for bridal shower, gift, bachelor/bachelorette party, their attire, then there are deposits for the limos, honeymoon... You feel what I am saying?

I am thinking since we are talking ONE WEEK all of this expense was not incurred. If you paid for the resizing, just eat the loss. If she paid you could (I believe legally - not sure though, I am not an attorney) take the position, "You broke the engagement so too damned bad for you." Or you could just refund her the money so she will never EVER have a reason to bother you again.

It's your call.

Just my .02

 

[the.gladiator1987]

Got it, Im gonna keep ignoring her unless she gets serious about wanting the money.

Then Ill tell her it cost 1300, it will only sell now for 800, so im losing 500. So what i owe you is going towards my loss on the ring. I am not texting her back because i will want to text and talk to her more than i want to. Once i get a job and go to school ill feel a lot better and i wont have time to just think about her.

 

[nefertiti]

Grump you are being way too harsh on this kid. he's 20 freaking years old. At that age we are ALL entitled to be vaccuous, and I didn't have a "real job" either. Actually, I don't think I worked the summer between my junior and senior year at all. I had other things going on.

I ENCOURAGE him to explore his youth, bang a bunch of girls, be as carefree as he can before the real world hits. I took on a shit ton of responsibility around that age and was forced to grow up way too fast. I wish I could rewind to those years and just be young and immature again.

 

[wootoom]

Grump you are being way too harsh on this kid. he's 20 freaking years old. At that age we are ALL entitled to be vaccuous, and I didn't have a "real job" either. Actually, I don't think I worked the summer between my junior and senior year at all. I had other things going on.

I ENCOURAGE him to explore his youth, bang a bunch of girls, be as carefree as he can before the real world hits. I took on a shit ton of responsibility around that age and was forced to grow up way too fast. I wish I could rewind to those years and just be young and immature again.

weeee have a weener!!!

 

[nefertiti]

weeee have a weener!!!

getting too serious about life at that age is a recipe for making a lot of realy bad choices. We're still figuring out who we are. Why force ourselves into a path only to have to look back years later and wish we'd just relaxed a little and let that path come to us?

 

[Bikini Mod]

Got it, Im gonna keep ignoring her unless she gets serious about wanting the money.

Then Ill tell her it cost 1300, it will only sell now for 800, so im losing 500. So what i owe you is going towards my loss on the ring. I am not texting her back because i will want to text and talk to her more than i want to. Once i get a job and go to school ill feel a lot better and i wont have time to just think about her.

^^Best thing I've seen you post so far.

And you are also correct about how once you start working and enroll in school you will be too busy to think much more about it. And all of the sudden one day you will realize, "Heck, I didn't even think about her today.... or come to think of it, I haven't thought about her or anything connected TO HER for... I can't remember when."

Even though you've spent most of what has been "your adult life" connected to this woman, it pales in comparison to your ENTIRE adult life. You had no children, you had no community property <-- these are the circumstances where it makes it VERY difficult to dissolve a union, legal or not.

Once you have children you are FOREVER tied to that other person, whether you like it or not it WILL BE TILL DEATH YOU TWO PART.

Something that I've found helpfull in the past when I was going through a particularly painfull break-up (with the exception of my marriage - once that was over - there was NO HOPE so I didn't need *any tricks*) especially when I was remembering something good was to SHARPLY RECALL the most painfull thing that the other person said/did to me. Re-reading hate-filled or emails that were full of BS deception were especially helpfull.

It hurts today, but it won't hurt forever. Then once it stops hurting, the world will become colorfull again and then you will pinch yourself and say, "WHAT IN THE WORLD WAS I THINKING?!"

 

[Grumpy Old Man]

Grump you are being way too harsh on this kid. he's 20 freaking years old. At that age we are ALL entitled to be vaccuous, and I didn't have a "real job" either. Actually, I don't think I worked the summer between my junior and senior year at all. I had other things going on.

I ENCOURAGE him to explore his youth, bang a bunch of girls, be as carefree as he can before the real world hits. I took on a shit ton of responsibility around that age and was forced to grow up way too fast. I wish I could rewind to those years and just be young and immature again.

OK, I guess I should let him explore, play around and do what he wants. I am sorry, but, I left home at 16 worked 2 jobs while I finished school, went to college, got drafted, got shot a few times, fell out a lot of aircraft, got married had kids, supported them, divorced a couple times still supported them, & still supported myself.

I guess you are right, I encourage everyone to spend their youth exploring and having fun, then about 15 years later their youth has been explored, they pulled down mad punani and they have a great job handing out little smiley faces when you come into the local walmart.

All this is precipitated because of his posts on the religion forum. Other than that I hope he can screw his GF out of a couple bucks by doing the christian thing and lying to her so he can either pay the $40 bucks for the gym or pay his cell bill or whatever.

I think you hit the jackpot with your post. HE afterall is responsible for whatever he does or doesn't do. If I am hard on him or tell him to party on it really has no bearing on what he will do anyway.

He's 20 and doesn't have a job? Damn his mom and dad must really love him.