Bombshell Dropped

[annie72]

Thanks guys, He knows I've been eating "weird" as he calls it or "clean" as we call it for some time....we have a wedding to go to on Sunday and I've said I'll drive as dont want to drink - he flips!

Well we'll see, I want to look how I want to look and thats that...plus the fact if I feel good about myself that will come back and reward him tenfold as us girls can be right royal pains in the butts if we're not happy with our bodies.

You have all been incredibly supportive..thank you so much x

 

[RADAR]

Thanks guys, He knows I've been eating "weird" as he calls it or "clean" as we call it for some time....we have a wedding to go to on Sunday and I've said I'll drive as dont want to drink - he flips!

Well we'll see, I want to look how I want to look and thats that...plus the fact if I feel good about myself that will come back and reward him tenfold as us girls can be right royal pains in the butts if we're not happy with our bodies.

You have all been incredibly supportive..thank you so much x

annie ,thats whats so so great about these forums everyone is here to support you even tho you feel no one else will.


RADAR

 

[needtogetaas]

Just get hot and then drop him later lol... HA HA. In the end do what you want to do and what you feel is right for your body.

 

[nefertiti]

I dont know if I mentioned the other day that I am reading Ripped 2 and my BF was not pleased about this at all...."if you get all ripped and muscley then ....well its a complete turn off for me!"

I figured he was thinking I was going to get massive like the pro female heavyweight body builders who obviously take quite an amount of steroids to acheive their gains...so yesterday I printed off about 18 photos of fitness and figure models who have the look I desire thinking this would help - nope ....he hates it...he hates the gorgeous capped shoulders!!!???!!!???

"You wont be the woman I met" - I'm not anyway add on 5 years and a about 28lbs!

I dont dictate to him how his body should look - and regardless of fat, thin, ripped or not I'm still me!

I'm sorry for the rant but has anyone else come against this kind of negativity? It wont deter me...I'm still gonna train, still eat clean etc, etc...I might not even be blessed with great genetics and may never get the bod I want but I am trying - but you know I'm getting married in 6 months and just find his attitude about this really out of order and very off putting.

"You won't be the woman I met"

God that fucking irks me. That phrase once prevented me from getting healthy in a different way.

Everyone else has said it but DO NOT let him dictate what your body is going to look like. Only you live in your body and being happy with what you have is more important than his opinion.

Frankly it seems to me that there's probably more going on than meets the eye. He might be insecure about you getting really hot, he might be put off by the idea of you eating differently...there's a number of reasons a guy could have issues with it. but you stay focused on what YOU want. Any guy who's turned off by the fitness model looking body is crazy anyway. Delt caps are sexy as hell!

 

[cindylou]

I understand him wanting a signifigant other who does not adopt this lifestyle if its too strict, because its not a normal lifestyle....but if you are just eating clean and not drinking...I dont see what his problem is. He does not want you to be healthy and responsible with your body?? strange.... if you really want it - he's either got to accept it or you gotta move on and find someone whose lifestyle is more compatable with yours

 

[minkiesmom]

Ultimately, you need to be happy with you. If you do not do that you cannot please another in a relationship. Hopefully he will come around and if he doesn't then he does not have your best interests at heart.

 

[hesnobradpitt]

Agreed, he is scared of you changing without him , and may think he will lose you , try and tell him its some thing you need to do for yourself and it will make you happy and it means alot to have him by your side supporting you .

Brad.

 

[slat1]

Keep in mind the pictures you see are day of competition or the day after. Most girls don't walk around that ripped all year.
That said, your bf needs to mature a bit. He reminds me of me 10 or so years ago.
What will most likely happen is as you get in shape he will love it. If he doesn't you might want to find someone else a little more secure and possible someone who likes a healthy lifestyle of working out etc!
Don't let him get you down.

 

[nangiggles]

a year ago when my bf starting training I wasnt very happy about it because knew eventually he'd want me to do so too and I was a lazy ass fried food eater BUT I NEVER discouraged him or said a word.... so there's something fishy here...

 

[needtogetaas]

I know what it feels like to get bomb shells dropped on you. Both literally and Figuratively. I have picked up the peaces and started a new plan over and over and over again. Life is up and down and that is the way it is. I have found that you can not let others be the dictate your happiness. You can not let others Have the control to dictate the destiny of your life.

When some one in your life is blocking your dreams and stops you from carving your way in life they are no longer a positive influence but a hindrance to you. Nothing is harder then coming to the realization that some one you love is only holding you back in life. That they are destroying every hope or dream you have for yourself.

When you find some one who loves you for you. All your faults all your weaknesses as well as your strengths. When you find some one who will walk along side you. Some one who admires you and all you are. Some one who wishes not to make you what they want you to be but loves you for what you are now and will love you for what you become later. When you find some one who loves you for what you are and also what you want to be, not what they want you to be. When you find some one who does not need you to make them happy but is just happy being with you. That is some one to love and some one's opinion to consider.

When some one wants to kill your dreams for your self just because you are not fitting the mold (in any aspect) they have for you they have become a stumbling block in your life. I know what this is like. I have spent many years of my life dealing with this kind if person. My life,my hopes,my dreams and everything good I ever had for me has been killed many times over from people like this.

I offer this advice. You reach for the stars. You reach for the goals you have in mind. You go after what you want and the second some one stands in the way let them go. To this day I have not had the strength to take my own advice but speaking from experience I know its good advice. maybe some day soon I will live this myself.