Bombshell Dropped

[Thandie]

Thanks guys, He knows I've been eating "weird" as he calls it or "clean" as we call it for some time....we have a wedding to go to on Sunday and I've said I'll drive as dont want to drink - he flips!

Well we'll see, I want to look how I want to look and thats that...plus the fact if I feel good about myself that will come back and reward him tenfold as us girls can be right royal pains in the butts if we're not happy with our bodies.

You have all been incredibly supportive..thank you so much x

Annie, when I started training I used to encounter people like your bf. The only reason for that behavior is jealousy. He basically wants you down with him. I urge you not to allow anyone to discourage you from living a healthy lifestyle.
Follow your dreams. If training, getting fit and eating healthy is what you want, then that's what you should do. As Radar said, think carefully before going down the Isle with him. You are definitely taking a different road then he is.

Good luck!

 

[OneBreath]

This is a very unfortunate pattern we've seen in the females we work with. They are trying so hard and the husband/boyfriend is either not being supportive, or is down right being unsupportive.

The problem is that because of the intimate relationship they know exactly the right things to say or the right buttons to push in order to sabotage the woman's attitude. This is very dangerous to their success.

Beware of the subtle things! Whatever happens, don't lose your attitude. Don't let that be altered. He only has power over you if you allow it.

Good luck!

 

[uamaverick]

Annie, allow me to share the flip side. Once you start sharing with everyone that "thanks I am not drinking and eating better because I want to be healthier and feel better/look better" and you walk the walk I will bet you dollars to donuts that this will rub off onto people that you don't even realize. May not be your bf, that might not be the case AT ALL with him. But imagine how good it will feel when a co-worker or the person who makes your coffee in the morning, etc says to you a few weeks down the road, "Hey, you know what? I quit drinking and have been eating better too and I feel so much better!" and then they say, "And look, my jeans fit me better to."

Or something to that effect.

I promise you.... It WILL happen.

Definitely true. When I started back at it 5 weeks ago I was talking about it with co-workers, and they've seen the progress I've made. A guy I work with is a little bit older and used to be a powerlifter, but had gotten out of shape. He came up to me and said he stopped eating his Little Debbie cookies and started drinking more water. I was flattered that somebody would respond like that to me wanting to get into good shape again.

 

[ConanX]

This girl that I have been seeing on and off for about 4 years used to always chastise me for bodybuilding. She really held me back when I wanted to put on some nice mass. Because of her, I was always stuck and couldn't progress. Anytime I'd start to gain some size, I'd hear remarks about looking too big and bulky and unattractive. She was really into the lean, athletic look and I always thought that a man should look like a man. Well, after about 2 years of staying scrawny to try and please her, we broke up for a bit. While I was taking a break from seeing her, I hired an IFBB pro as a personal trainer and really went out of my way to get jacked. Within a few short months, I gained 25lbs of muscle and had the look I was finally happy with.

Guess what? We are now seeing eachother again and it doesn't seem to bother her at all that I am now 30lbs heavier than I was last year with MUCH less bodyfat. She has accepted the fact that the gym and dieting is very important to me. Does she occassionally piss me off with rude remarks and comments about steroids and such? Yup...but I have learned to grow immune to it and that if she overlooks the fact that I treat her like a queen and that she's the most important thing in the world to me, all because I am bigger and more jacked looking than most guys, then I guess it's not meant to be. Things have been great with us so far and the best news is, I am happy with the way I look and she is happy going out with me.

 

[innersanctuary]

People fear change. So if you are changing yourself, and your BF is used to you one way...he is fearing that. Most people fear the loss of what they know. He'll get over it. Just don't compromise yourself for someone else.

 

[annie72]

Thank you all - he's backing off a little - he doesnt thinks its very feminine but hey...I dont know if he just expected me to stop but I can see some results now and that is just spurring me on even more.

Thanks again for all your wonderful support x

 

[lander2312]

good to hear he is backing off a little. I just read this whole thread and I think something that Slat said was very very important....most women you are looking up to and the pics you are looking at is right at comp time....they DO NOT walk around looking like that. I have met monica brant and a few others when not competing. They are very womanly....sexy and curvy.....keep that in mind and let him know....i bet that will really help him accept it.