Please Scroll Down to See Forums Below 
Victorian guy
New member
Harassed by gym management!!!
Brothers,
The following is a true story.
I have been HARASSED by the management at my gym...a conspiracy is afoot, the goal of which is to drive out all hard-core, train-till-we-vomit barbarians, the likes of myself and Nobby. I have had it, and have contacted my lawyers and am planning a massive lawsuit. Here are the facts of the case:
It all started innocently enough. One evening, during training, Nobby and I went to the water cooler to fill our 2 gallon plastic jugs with water- our old 2 liter bottles were too small. As we were filling our jugs, a woman stood waiting- impatiently. Finally, she said, in a most displeasing tone, "Look...I only have this little EVIAN water bottle to fill...would you MIND letting me fill this then you two can finish?!'' It was not a request, but an order. "Fill it we shall for you, my dear" I said, and passing her bottle to Nobby, snapped "Fill it to the top, old boy!" . Nobby took the bottle in one of his thick, stubby, dirty hands, grunted, and went to the changing/shower area. A minute later he returned, and handed the woman her bottle- filled right up- albeit with a warm, yellow fluid. Her face showed initial surprise, then contorted in disgust. She stormed off, and returned with the counter/towel boy- a measly little lad, sporting Oakleys, baggy workout pants, and a t-shirt with the logo 'Dumbell 150' on it. As soon as he saw us massive fellows, he turned and fled from the gym, whimpering. Ever since then, we have been harassed by management!
The next evening, the manager approached us and began berating us for 'intimidating' members. I stopped my set of front barbell raises with 185 pounds, and turned to face him. "Please, Sir, do feel at liberty to go fuck yourself", I said. Nobby picked up an E-Z curl bar, and, screaming "YA FOOKIN' BASTAHHHDDD!!" began bending the bar in half with truly superhuman force- then put the now U-shaped bar around the manager's neck, and bent it still further- actually wrapping the bar around his neck! He struggled to pry it apart, but it was of no use, and 15 minutes later members of the fire department arrived to help get the E-Z curl bar off of his neck. The 'jaws of life' had to be used to pry it open.
As we were leaving, walking through the parking lot heading for the Rolls Royce, the manager pulled up alongside us in his car - "I have called the police...you are not to come back ever- do you hear?" he screamed. Nobby and I had had enough of this harassment. He saw the anger in our eyes and floored it, hoping to escape- but Nobby had lifted the end of his car, and his wheels spun to no effect! I seized his car from the side, and promptly flipped it over with such Herculean force that it rolled over 3 times before stopping. Then we left.
They haven't heard the last of us, I tell you!
Brothers,
The following is a true story.
I have been HARASSED by the management at my gym...a conspiracy is afoot, the goal of which is to drive out all hard-core, train-till-we-vomit barbarians, the likes of myself and Nobby. I have had it, and have contacted my lawyers and am planning a massive lawsuit. Here are the facts of the case:
It all started innocently enough. One evening, during training, Nobby and I went to the water cooler to fill our 2 gallon plastic jugs with water- our old 2 liter bottles were too small. As we were filling our jugs, a woman stood waiting- impatiently. Finally, she said, in a most displeasing tone, "Look...I only have this little EVIAN water bottle to fill...would you MIND letting me fill this then you two can finish?!'' It was not a request, but an order. "Fill it we shall for you, my dear" I said, and passing her bottle to Nobby, snapped "Fill it to the top, old boy!" . Nobby took the bottle in one of his thick, stubby, dirty hands, grunted, and went to the changing/shower area. A minute later he returned, and handed the woman her bottle- filled right up- albeit with a warm, yellow fluid. Her face showed initial surprise, then contorted in disgust. She stormed off, and returned with the counter/towel boy- a measly little lad, sporting Oakleys, baggy workout pants, and a t-shirt with the logo 'Dumbell 150' on it. As soon as he saw us massive fellows, he turned and fled from the gym, whimpering. Ever since then, we have been harassed by management!
The next evening, the manager approached us and began berating us for 'intimidating' members. I stopped my set of front barbell raises with 185 pounds, and turned to face him. "Please, Sir, do feel at liberty to go fuck yourself", I said. Nobby picked up an E-Z curl bar, and, screaming "YA FOOKIN' BASTAHHHDDD!!" began bending the bar in half with truly superhuman force- then put the now U-shaped bar around the manager's neck, and bent it still further- actually wrapping the bar around his neck! He struggled to pry it apart, but it was of no use, and 15 minutes later members of the fire department arrived to help get the E-Z curl bar off of his neck. The 'jaws of life' had to be used to pry it open.
As we were leaving, walking through the parking lot heading for the Rolls Royce, the manager pulled up alongside us in his car - "I have called the police...you are not to come back ever- do you hear?" he screamed. Nobby and I had had enough of this harassment. He saw the anger in our eyes and floored it, hoping to escape- but Nobby had lifted the end of his car, and his wheels spun to no effect! I seized his car from the side, and promptly flipped it over with such Herculean force that it rolled over 3 times before stopping. Then we left.
They haven't heard the last of us, I tell you!
Last edited:
