So This is Why I havent been around...

[PatBateman3]

Sorry to hear bro. I agree with Div's point about the age of the woman having something to do with behavior (and in your case the rape may play a card too). For the most part, he's right, women in their 20's are complete head-cases, have no clue what they want out of life, LOVE to play games, and love to party. There are always exceptions to the rule, I've found a couple great younger women to date who were mature just because their situations forced them to grow up at a very young age.

In terms of what to do know? I was engaged not to long ago and through a series of bad decisions by me (commitment-phobe related stuff), it ended. After that, I started going to the gym a lot more and became a machine on auto-pilot (with my emotions too, which is bad). I say, find something to throw all of your heart and energy into and it will distract you from the pain for right now while it's at its peak. Best of luck.

 

[WannaBeBig72]

Here's my take on this, CowCutter.....

Anytime a woman cheats it's because she not being fullfilled in some way in her relationship. In this case, she feels that this guy at her work can give her something that you are not giving her.


DIV

I think this is bullshit, and I don't think you can make this kind of judgement based on the limited info you're getting. Just because she is cheating doesn't mean that CowCutter isn't giving her something that she wants and that the guy she is cheating with is. Sometimes we read into things or try to make sense of something when there's really nothing to make sense of. It is what it is. She probably was too young for marriage. She realized this now at the age of 24 when her friends are running around, clubbing, dropping ecstacy and living the "wild" life. It sounds like she never had the opportunity to do this and now might need to get it out of her system (some people never have to..some people do...I happen to be one of the people that did need to get this out of my system). This is not something that ANY man can give her. She will eventually realize that the "crazy party" life is really pretty empty and that there are alot of people that will treat you like shit out there (male and female) and might eventually come to regret her decision to leave you. It's quite difficult to find a good healthy relationship. She will find this out in due time.

 

[split endz]

Sorry to hear bro. There's some good advice in this thread, but the thing is we are all different. What it takes for you to get through this depends on what makes you tick. Do you need some time alone for closure ?... probably. Should you bang some random ho's for revenge ?... Sometimes that helps, but if your mind is totally on her, it doesn't really mean much. I agree that you should try to get out & hang with other people as much as you can, but if you're not there mentally, it just doesn't seem to help me. If you can become involved mentally in anything, wheather it be workouts, sports, work, whatever, that is what you should do. If your body needs to mourn, it will mourn. Hard cold facts, but that's the way it has always been for me. I wish you well, and there is something about your tone in this thread that tells me you will be happy again soon, you sound strong inside. You also sound like a desireable catch to women, which makes things easier when you are ready to move on.

 

[DIVISION]

I think this is bullshit, and I don't think you can make this kind of judgement based on the limited info you're getting. Just because she is cheating doesn't mean that CowCutter isn't giving her something that she wants and that the guy she is cheating with is. Sometimes we read into things or try to make sense of something when there's really nothing to make sense of. It is what it is. She probably was too young for marriage. She realized this now at the age of 24 when her friends are running around, clubbing, dropping ecstacy and living the "wild" life. It sounds like she never had the opportunity to do this and now might need to get it out of her system (some people never have to..some people do...I happen to be one of the people that did need to get this out of my system). This is not something that ANY man can give her. She will eventually realize that the "crazy party" life is really pretty empty and that there are alot of people that will treat you like shit out there (male and female) and might eventually come to regret her decision to leave you. It's quite difficult to find a good healthy relationship. She will find this out in due time.

eh, Wannabe....call it what ya' want, I care less.......I don't need specifics to make basic judgement calls on human behaviour. Especially when it comes to relationships.

I already outline the probable reasons for her cheating behaviour.

There's no reason to delve back in to it.

I just hope he learns from this and is more discerning with the women he chooses in the future.

Women with a past history of abuse should raise warning flags ALWAYS.






DIV

 

[WannaBeBig72]

eh, Wannabe....call it what ya' want, I care less.......I don't need specifics to make basic judgement calls on human behaviour. Especially when it comes to relationships.

I already outline the probable reasons for her cheating behaviour.

There's no reason to delve back in to it.

I just hope he learns from this and is more discerning with the women he chooses in the future.

Women with a past history of abuse should raise warning flags ALWAYS.



DIV

Yes defenitely a red flag. Women like this often times have no idea what the fuck they want. They're confused. Sometimes it is "they want what they can't have". Or their self esteem is so low that they can't have any respect for the person that loves them or treats them right.

 

[Triple-G]

She will eventually realize that the "crazy party" life is really pretty empty and that there are alot of people that will treat you like shit out there (male and female) and might eventually come to regret her decision to leave you. It's quite difficult to find a good healthy relationship. She will find this out in due time.

but then it will be too late... didn't we have a story like this a couple of months ago with Lestat (sp?), his girl was a similar age and she left him because "she wanted to experience a bad first date" or so? i generally don't consider young girls (twentysomethings) to be marriage material anyway.

 

[Madcow2]

It's immaturity - there are tons of women out there who would do anything to find a good committed man that they are compatible with. Believe me, it's a valuable commodity and I've known a ton of smart successful attractive women who can't find a decent guy to save their lives.

It's nothing you did and nothing you could have foreseen other than realizing that people do a lot of changing in their late teens and early twenties so average risk is higher.

Sometimes the most valuable lessons in life are the hardest to learn and sometimes an incredible journey begins with a rough breaking. It's hard to see the light when you are in the middle of a dark tunnel, but it's there. Keep you head up. Keep your mind clear - getting some counseling or talking to someone is not a weak thing, it just flat out helps to be able to talk to someone who isn't invovlved with your problem and explaining things in plain english can make you see more clearly. And put on foot in front of the other. Life may rock your boat sometimes but make sure it takes a 100 year storm to sink you.

 

[PatBateman3]

but then it will be too late... didn't we have a story like this a couple of months ago with Lestat (sp?), his girl was a similar age and she left him because "she wanted to experience a bad first date" or so? i generally don't consider young girls (twentysomethings) to be marriage material anyway.

Yeah, when I went back and re-read the ages and time of marriage, I noticed she got married when she was 20. I wouldn't marry a 20 year old if you put a gun to my head. Not when I'm in my 20s, 30s, 40s, ever....There might be a few 20 year olds out there that are real, true marriage material, but finding them is near-impossible. Too much of a risk imho.

 

[DIVISION]

but then it will be too late... didn't we have a story like this a couple of months ago with Lestat (sp?), his girl was a similar age and she left him because "she wanted to experience a bad first date" or so? i generally don't consider young girls (twentysomethings) to be marriage material anyway.

Eh, TripleNugg.....don't bring Lestat in to this......

That crazy nugga is a whole 'nother story! There was more to his situation than a girl simply leaving for greener pastures. The dude was stalking her after she left......which leads me to believe that there was more to his behaviour which led her to leave in the first place.

Lestat is in another category. Trust me.






DIV

 

[DIVISION]

It's immaturity - there are tons of women out there who would do anything to find a good committed man that they are compatible with. Believe me, it's a valuable commodity and I've known a ton of smart successful attractive women who can't find a decent guy to save their lives.

There's a reason why they're still single. There is always a reason. Trust me, MadcowMania. Either mentally or physically there is something that is off.



DIV