Out of all the fucked up things i've seen in south beach, tonight takes the cake...

[calveless wonder]

Jesus christ. I've seen and experienced some random, crazy shit since i've lived here. Rubbed elbows with celebs, gotten drunk with them...seen all sorts of insane and random shit.

but i think this may be the most bizzare. You couldn't even script this if you wanted to. Bear with me, it's a long story..

I went out tonight with a good friend of mine, fairly big in the real estate development community. He said he had a couple of females he knew in town and asked me to tag along.

So we meet up with them in south beach for a few drinks. Both really hot...but it didn't take long to realize they were both boring as shit. I tried throwing on the charm, the jokes etc to liven it up and they were just completely wack and didn't reciprocate the same energy. I knew it was going nowhere

So we go to the Shore Club Hotel(nice hotel with a very cool lounge/club inside). They're boring the fuck out of us, so we separate from the girls. We end up inside in the VIP room and are dancing and mingling.

So i end up in the back, by the pool table and there's this large group of people. I set up the pool table, and this tall attractive blonde comes up to me and starts talking to me and wants to play. So we start playing, and talking. She comes up to me and is very touchy feely...feeling my arms, abs, etc, kissing my cheek.
We start talking and she basically tells me she's here with her whole family. Her cousins, her aunt...bunch of random old people and some younger family members. I'm like damn, you guys are tight knit...kinda weird but cool.

I get to chit chatting with the whole family, and they're giving me and my friend drinks (Cristal, high end vodka).

I figured they're tourists with a tight knit family. Cool... a little odd, since they're very touchy feely WITH EACH OTHER but still good people. In fact i thought one of her cousins was her BF because of the touchy feelyness. Find out that's not the case.
So one of the male cousins is talking to my boy for a long time, and starts asking him for coke.

anyways...i later find out through my friend, the tall blonde girl is DREW ROSENHAUS'S FIANCEE(or wife..didn't get the clarification). Basically the biggest sports agent in the country. He represents all the big names in the NFL
It gets weirder

I confirm it with some of the family members nonchalantly....and i just kinda play it off. They were obviously high rollers

So i'm dancing with her and one of the male cousins goes "do you want to fuck my cousin?". I'm like "what?". and he goes "do you want to fuck my cousin? It's her 30th birthday and she never gets to go out". whoaaaaaaaaaaaa

At this point i'm just laughing it off and don't know what the fuck is going. So of course the two other whores from the beginning of the night find us and start hovering around us.

Me and my boy are so mind boggled at this point we don't know what to do. i'd love to say i manned up and closed the deal, but it just got too strange. i left with her number (the family left and they all bounced shortly after). They left us all their alcohol which was cool.

I don't know if i should call this chick and i'm actually hesitant to post this because it might end up in the tabloids LOL

people are fuckin nuts. that's all i have to say.

 

[jackangel]

imagine how you'll feel when you run into healother at a club down there.

 

[calveless wonder]

Re: Out of all the fucked up things i've seen in south beach, tonight takes the cake.

imagine how you'll feel when you run into healother at a club down there.

lol
he'd never get let into anywhere decent if he ever came down here. i guarantee you that. If he can't pull girls in minnesota where the competition is negative 5, lol @ miami.

you have any sort of hesitation with the door guys there (and no girls) you're fucked.and if you're not very good looking, you're double fucked.
i've had times where i had to get into certain places alone since other people were inside and i was able to talk my way in and at least looked the part. if i looked like a duck i probably wouldn't have been able to do it

 

[calveless wonder]

Re: Out of all the fucked up things i've seen in south beach, tonight takes the cake.

p.s. (disclaimer)everything i say is based off an imaginary online character(calveless wonder) and can not be used against me or anybody else in any sort of manner.


good night ladies and gents

(and what the fuck is with this bring your family/mom to the club situations i've seen the past 2 weeks??? you gotta be kidding me)

 

[nimbus]

shoulda fucked her are you kidding me

 

[swole]

Re: Out of all the fucked up things i've seen in south beach, tonight takes the cake.

so you could have fucked drew's rosenhaus' fiancee. let's put this in short pictoral.

"honey you did WHAAAT LAST NIGHT!??!?!"

"oh you heard me you smug fuck. calveless wonder. i took his cuban/japanese sawseege and rammed it in my throat. after it's been in my ass. and it tasted gooooooood."

"whatever. you never go out. might as well have been calveless wonder. what a pimp."

"oh now you don't care!??! drew you know what? i'm done with you."

"i'd like to publicly announce that i will no longer be engaged cuz my fiancee is a slut."

"so this calveless wonder fucked up my agent's head and now my multi-million dollar deal is ruined. Imma kill this nigga."

 

[silverstar1025]

Re: Out of all the fucked up things i've seen in south beach, tonight takes the cake.

LMAO this is great!!! LOL

 

[GUARDIAN]

this thread is useless without her phone #

 

[gotmilk]

You'll get shot Shawn Taylor style if you touch Drew Rosenpenis's chick

 

[nimbus]

Re: Out of all the fucked up things i've seen in south beach, tonight takes the cake.

next question. dude, this is brilliant