Try not to look at cigs as if they are appetizing. Like a cig after a meal etc. A cig when you are overwhelmed. Try to make a new habit. I know you said you don't like candy or gum, but it's not like you liked cigs either when you started, NO WAY you did. I suggest finding something to appease the oral fixation (I am being serious please do NOT joke about that), but the hand to mouth gesture of smoking also becomes habit. Maybe get a Grip to play with, a stress ball, something to keep your hand, mouth & head occupied & off the relief a cig will falsely bring.
I am going to say this with tears in my eyes, and let it be known that I love my mother more than anything ... but the saddest day in my life will be when I have to bury her knowing she died of lung cancer after seeing her daughter.. you know the rest. I live with that every day.
No reason to apologize to me hun, you simply don't need that kind of crutch in your life.
Sometimes it happens on the 1st try, the 3rd, the 5th, the 20th ... key word it 'happens'.