Hump day humor, simpson style~
"You're a credit to the demented, everywhere."
--Lisa Simpson to the self-confessed Michael Jackson
"Marge, if we don't come back, avenge our deaths."
--Homer Simpson to his widow
"It was like that when I got here."--Again, Homer Simpson
Random stuff~
"This is gonna be like double coupon day at Piggly Wiggly."
--WWE announcer Jerry "The King" Lawler, anticipating a wrestling mismatch
"Miracles appear in the strangest of places...fancy meeting you here."--"Yesterday's Wine" by Willie Nelson
"It's a big old goofy world."
--John Prine, singer, songwriter
"A heart stained in anger grows weak and grows bitter, you become your own prisoner as you watch yourself sit there, wrapped up in a trap of your very own chain of sorrow."
--Prine, again
"If a thing loves, it is infinite."
--William Blake, paitner, engraver, poet
"A billion here, a billion there, and pretty soon you're talking some real money."
--Dirksen, on the federal budget
"Relax, buddy, it's only a video game."
--Nick Chang, character in the video game, 'True Crime, Streets of LA'