okay, so does anyone have this kind of luck with women?

[calveless wonder]

Luck has very little to do with it.

It's such a reoccuring pattern that there is a large level of accountability on your part. Doesn't make these women or their actions justifiable, but you have to be aware of situations that propel this. GD pretty much nailed it. It's either the women you attract or are attracted to, or your actions during a relationship that cause this. We've all been burned before, but to keep having the same thing happen is the furthes

Simple rule of thumb, always have less to lose than the other person. The one who can walk away without much investment is the one who's in control and has the power. That person rarely gets cheated on. It's just like a business negotiation..the most powerful person in the room is the one who can walk away from the deal.

Also, you need to make sure you're always on top of your game. Make sure these women you date know how desirable to OTHER women you are. Make sure you stay looking good/in shape, casually flirt and always display your charisma (no more than that though), and stay making money or whatever. You always want to make sure they know if they lose you, you have one better around the corner to replace them.

It's a dirty game...but that's how it goes and just like anything else, you have to protect yourself. oh yeah and never be needy. that goes without saying

 

[Pat_McCrotch]

I shall see, sometthing tells me i can trust her when she says she has not cheated on me. so I am gonna stick it out so I can say I tried.

Stick it out and keep an eye out. Dont snoop just keep an eye out for the same.

are yall serious? if so tell her he is not making this easy on you and she needs to do something about it. if she wants to be with you and really cares about you she will tell her EX to fuck off.

 

[Big Rick Rock]

Its been 4 months. If you can't trust her yet, you better run.

Okay, so we all know my ex-wives both cheated on me with guys that were supposedly just friends. The first wife supposed friend was an ex bf from high school. The second was "just" a friend.

Then I date twice after the second wife and both times there was an ex who they were just friends with that they said the ex new about me and there was no way they were going back with them. However, they did.

So, I have been dating this gal now for 4 months and we are still dating. Anyway, 2 fridays ago (the 21st) she went home from school early, they had half days and she is a teacher, says she has 102.5 temp and tells me this at 1:30 in the afternoon. Okay, so I have no reason to not believe her, around 6 I ask her if can come over say hi, see how she is doing. She says not tonight baby I am not up for company. Okay, I can see that.

So, she says come over saturday. Saturday shows up and i txt her at 0730 to ask what tome to come over and she is like why are youi asking? I say so I can plan my day out. Anyway, go over at appointed time, spend the night, we spend sunday together shopping etc. So when we stop off to tan, I stay in the car and notice a wadded up receipt in the cup holder, my instincts tell to look at it so I do. It is a credit card receipt for lunch for two paid for by her ex bf to the tune of 77 bucks plus tip. In addition it is dated for the day she has the fever and for the time she has the fever. It also has on it the food she likes, margarita, creme brulee.

So, I ask her about it and she was like I don't know what its for. I tell her the date and she says, that he must have left it in the car when her dad took him to the airport saturday morning the 22nd cause she was too sick and she was supposed to take him and it must have been for when he and some her friends went out thursday the 20th, but that she didn't go cause she was either at school or home in bed. Then she says you thought i was cheating on you. I told her no, if i was I would have been pissed off. Actually I did think that. We didn't fight about it though. The rest of the day she is all over me.

Later that night I was looking in her car for a pair of missing socks of hers and found blockbuster receipts for the two movies we watched saturday that were dated for the 21st (the day the cc receipt was for) and paid for by her.

So, here is my dilema. I think I love this gal. I don't trust her ex bf (the dude threatened to kill himself when she tried to break up with him several times before she finally did. He supposedly knows all about me and knows there is no chance of her and him getting back together. The other thing is this dude is constantly calling, wanting her to do things with him and she acts like she has no interest. It seems sincere, but I am quite jaded.

So there are two scenarios

1. she did have lunch with him, spent the night to take him to the airport so she didn't have to get up early and drive 25 miles to get him or she didn't spend the night but still had lunch with him.

2. Same as number one except she screwed him as well. Her dad didn't take him that is for sure.

He didn't leave the receipt in the car on the way to the airport either. However, I believe a third scenario.

She may have had a fever ( i believe she did as she was sick from an allergic reaction) had lunch with him for taking him to the airport that friday cause she promised and he wadded up the receipt and left it there intentionally hoping I would find it and break up with her.

she swears he has no shot at the title and knows it, but I happened to read an email he sent her on the 25th. It said nothing of importance but he signed by saying have a good day baby. Now, you would have to be stupid to not know that he still wants to get back with cause friends just don't sign emails like that. Pet names between sexes are almost exclusively when your dating the person.

So, do I take this and see where it goes, maybe she is telling the truth and nothing is going on and figured i would just get upset knowing he was buying her lunch and taking him to the airport or she is lying to me.

But damn, three times in a row. How does anyone have that kind of luck. why can't ex's just figure it out and stop trying. there is a reason they are ex's

 

[Bikini Mod]

I've never had an issue trusting a love interest. Been cheated on a time er three, that is true. But then again, they did me a favor. When I realized what was going on, I bowed out, realized it was on THEM and went about my business finding a man that deserved ME, never wasting a moments' thought looking back.

Why on earth would ANYONE stress and fret over the fidelity of their partner? I mean, if you can't trust them, then why would you WANT to be with them?

Just doesn't make a wholelotta sense to me.

 

[reno240]

Why is she still hanging out with the ex? For her, yours and most definitely his sake they shouldn't be talking. At least not until he moves on with his life.

 

[reno240]

I've never had an issue trusting a love interest. Been cheated on a time er three, that is true. But then again, they did me a favor. When I realized what was going on, I bowed out, realized it was on THEM and went about my business finding a man that deserved ME, never wasting a moments' thought looking back.

Why on earth would ANYONE stress and fret over the fidelity of their partner? I mean, if you can't trust them, then why would you WANT to be with them?

Just doesn't make a wholelotta sense to me.

Because him not trusting her has nothing to do with her. It has to do with himself. It's not her fault he can't trust women, and he knows that.

 

[Wulfgar]

you've had good luck there?

yup...lots of good girls go there

 

[heavy_duty]

never wasting a moments' thought looking back.

Why on earth would ANYONE stress and fret over the fidelity of their partner? I mean, if you can't trust them, then why would you WANT to be with them?

It is called being profoundly in love from the bottom of your soul.
I don't think you have been there because if you had you would have understood why smart people do dumb things in love.

 

[Smurfy]

first, i dont believe in luck. sure, circumstance plays a part, but you should get as much good circumstance as bad. if youve been cheated on by 2 wives and been used as a rebound by the subsequent 2 girlfriends i would really strongly consider the possibility that you are 1) attracted to women predisposed to doing this stuff 2) attractive to women predisposed to doing such things 3) mismanaging your relationships, and thereby making them prone to women behaving in this way (ie seeking something/someone else)

the other thing is that your previous experiences have made you suspicious, and therefore needy. neediness is HUGELY unnattractive, and also, suspiciousness in regards to cheating undermines relationships massively

i think you should chat to a relationship counsellor/dating coach. seriously.

Amen sister

 

[Bikini Mod]

It is called being profoundly in love from the bottom of your soul.
I don't think you have been there because if you had you would have understood why smart people do dumb things in love.

I humbly beg to disagree.... That is NOT LOVE... THAT is HORMONES.

I have been committed and very much in love (well, as much as one can love before they have spent an entire lifetime together)... And NEVER have I been jealous over my lover.

I think that Reno is spot on here: "Because him not trusting her has nothing to do with her. It has to do with himself. It's not her fault he can't trust women, and he knows that." ....my ex had the same issue. To this day he is incapable of having a normal adult relationship. He has NEVER been able to trust women. He never has and he never will.

Jealousy is a sickness that has ZERO to do with the other party.

If one is involved with a party that is less than worthy of their time and attention, yet they continue to stay that is on THEM and not the other party.