That has got to be the funniest thing I have heard in a LONG time!!!!!!! I have thought about doing the same thing a few times, but thanks to your story I will keep a razor far away from my bum. I like the attention to detail you gave us also.....I will laugh about this for weeks!!!
I was contemplating this
problem, when I had what seemed at the time
to be a bright idea. "Hey, this is my butt and my butt-hair, right? So why don't I just eliminate all the hair, and then my grogans will flow out like beer from a keg!"