should i stop my run, going through a break up

[bbkingpinn]

i swear to GOD, this makes sence to me. her family hasnt been there for her at all. in fact , most of the issues she has been talking to me for the last two years have been how fucked up her family is. wow, i am in disbelief how much this makes sence. she was so up and down all the time, one minute bugging me to piick out baby names and talking about where we;re going to get married, to the next minute saying she is so not content with her life and needs braces and go back to school, even though she is beautiful, and already finished shcool and has a fucking career. she just wants to run to fullfill some magical thing tahts she thinks is missing from her life. knowing this, still doesnt help the pain and hurt. i wanted to help her so much, i feel like she really needs me, but pushed me away. often she told me i was the only good and secure thing in her life, and she even though she isnt sure about anything, shes sure about me. but im the only thing she ever pushed away when things didnt go her way or she was depressed. i dont understand why anyone would do that.

You need to take a look at yourself, bro. You're the one who seems to be hurting the most. Why can't YOU walk away? She is no doubt f--k'd up in the head. But you seem to be bearing the brunt of it. You're letting her fuck you up in the head and, believe me, even if you accept it's over, she may keep coming back and you may keep taking her back because you think you can make it work -- that she the one for you -- the only one for you. I'm going to PM you the name of the book, bro. The book made me a much stronger person -- ("Know thyself!" Plato/Socrates "He who conquers others is strong; he who conquers himself is mighty!" Sun Tzu) Rejection is painful but much more painful for others that REFUSE to accept it. That's why I included the example of my divorced cousin.

 

[alltraps]

You need to take a look at yourself, bro. You're the one who seems to be hurting the most. Why can't YOU walk away? She is no doubt f--k'd up in the head. But you seem to be bearing the brunt of it. You're letting her fuck you up in the head and, believe me, even if you accept it's over, she may keep coming back and you may keep taking her back because you think you can make it work -- that she the one for you -- the only one for you. I'm going to PM you the name of the book, bro. The book made me a much stronger person -- ("Know thyself!" Plato/Socrates "He who conquers others is strong; he who conquers himself is mighty!" Sun Tzu) Rejection is painful but much more painful for others that REFUSE to accept it. That's why I included the example of my divorced cousin.

again, you're righ about everything you say. i give her power over me, i accept her calls and reply to emails. i dont have the courage to walk away in fear of completely losing her. its pothetic and desperate but thats what i am right now. i cant be mad at her, or hate her. i know she didnt do anything on purpose to hurt me, shes just fucked up about life. thats why its hard for me to hate her. she simply doesnt know what she wants, and if she does want this, she doesnt know what to do to make it better. and it is ALL up to her to make this better. she just choses the easy way out, cuz then she doesnt have to deal with seeing the pain in my eyes. meanwhile, i want to be there for her and help her with everything. i always told her, no matter how hard life will be, take confort in knowing i am always going to be there to help

 

[bbkingpinn]

You are trying to be her savior. There's a chapter in the book about that. I PM'd you the details so I hope you get the book -- don't order online if possible but call the local Border's or whatever and see if they carry it. You don't need to be waiting for the mail for the book while at the same time trying to deal with all the shit this girl is putting you through.

 

[Sassy69]

Just a little view from the estrogen side of the table, with some maturity associated with it. This is a blanket statement and I know there are exceptions (cuz I've seen some amazing ones on this board!), but from my observations and my own experiences during that time of my life, women below 25, and often up to 30 just are not sure of what they want. They waffle between relying on someone all the time or having a boyfriend all the time, partying, going on whatever peer pressure says they should do, etc, and taking stabs at be independent. To be honest I can't even explain why, but I think particularly women experience confusion on what exactly society expects of them and what they should expect from society. If they come from screwy family backgrounds, its even worse.

You are young and so is she - you don't need to get married right now so don't feel the pressure to do it. Maybe she needs to work out her demons on her own and only time will help her deal w/ it. Who knows. But like my dad says, 'pay attention to what YOU are doing". I know it is hella hard to focus when your emotions are shot. I didn't catch what you are cycling, but I'd also pay attention to what you are cycling if you continue with the cycle - I know a few good men who have turned into assholes on tren and didn't realize it until after the fact. But I also think that if you stop the cycle you'll get the hormone swings that you really don't need right now.

I think bbkingpin hit it pretty good above.

Good luck to ya!

 

[bicepts101]

sassy has given the best explaination....this is not the first time ive heard this from adults over 30......

its funny cause thats how i was when i was a teenager.....drugs..all that shit......now i just want peace, steroids, food, gym, a good, patient women....

hang in there traps

 

[alltraps]

im hanging, thats the problem. if she actualy told me that is completely over, it would be much easier but she has not done so. she sais shes not sure she can handle the pressure of making things right. so i have hope. i wish i could just say fuck it and go without blinking an eye, but thats just not me. i believe you have to fight for something if you want it bad enough, but shes not fighting, so i look like a desperate fool. i know i sound like a broken record, but i am just that, broken. i do need to be strong and not feel like i need her to live. i have been single more then i have been in relationships, BY CHOICE, so once i get over this down, i;ll be ok. i just dont know when that will happen, and i dont want to waste my time and health waiting for the inevidable

 

[H_T_]

you know, you have a decision in this also, don't let someone rule over you like that, it makes you a servant, not a bf.

 

[alltraps]

you know, you have a decision in this also, don't let someone rule over you like that, it makes you a servant, not a bf.

i know, by emailing her and calling her, and going to her house when she asks me to, gives her all power over me. she knows that when she feels insecure she can call me and i will always be there for her, cuz i have been. i dont think its intentional on her part, but makes her feel good about herself, and makes me feel worse.

 

[bicepts101]

im hanging, thats the problem. if she actualy told me that is completely over, it would be much easier but she has not done so. she sais shes not sure she can handle the pressure of making things right. so i have hope. i wish i could just say fuck it and go without blinking an eye, but thats just not me. i believe you have to fight for something if you want it bad enough, but shes not fighting, so i look like a desperate fool. i know i sound like a broken record, but i am just that, broken. i do need to be strong and not feel like i need her to live. i have been single more then i have been in relationships, BY CHOICE, so once i get over this down, i;ll be ok. i just dont know when that will happen, and i dont want to waste my time and health waiting for the inevidable

i know this is easier said then done bro....but dont crawl back to her...tell her that you're ok with it being over...act like its not that big of a deal....i garentee you'll get her response quicker....you'll find out if she really cares.....and i garentee she does....its hard bt it works bro.....

sometimes women(and men) just dont realize what they had untill it waaayyy too late....

 

[uglyass]

Whatever you do, DO NOT take clomid. If you feel bad now you'll fell worse on that shit.

It's your choice whether you stay on or off but my advice would be get a hold of yourself and give yourself a shake, a big shake. Then get back in that gym, put the headphones on and play some hard fast music and get your workout done like a man. Like I said though, only you can choose to do that bro. You can though, it's all in the mind. Do it.

Girls don't like you running to them anyway bro, get on with your life and whats to be will be.

Good luck

UglyASS