okay, so does anyone have this kind of luck with women?

[chesty]

Question. How long was she with the ex and how long was she single when you met her?

she was with him 8 months and she had broken it off with him aobut 2 months before we actually started dating.

 

[chesty]

How old is she?

Eck, doesn't matter - move on - don't put anymore energy into this.

And if you're dating girls between 18-25 - stop it.

she is 30

 

[blueta2]

she was with him 8 months and she had broken it off with him aobut 2 months before we actually started dating.

Maybe she just feels guilty b/c she left him.
If he still have feelings for her, it's shows bad character on her part to still have contact with him, never mind still seeing him to hang out. That is just odd!
It sounds to me like maybe she's not serious about the relationship with you.
You're past about being cheated on has put you on "Watch", that watch will seep out as neediness.
But really, this is not about her, but you.
My personal opinion, be single for a while and learn why and how you chose the people you do. I'm not saying she's bad or good, I'm saying you're not ready to be in a relationship if you still feel the need to snoop.
I've been in your shoes. I was in two very long term relationships and both ex's cheated on me. I had to have 6 months of therapy to get my head in order again.
This pattern will never stop unless you make it stop.

 

[chesty]

I have not dated in two years and I was careful to ask her about her ex bf before we started dating since she had told me about him and why they broke up. specifically, I asked if she was over him and that I was not the rebound dude so to speak. (not in those exact words) and she assured me before we started dating that she was over him.

I had no reason at that point to not trust her.

 

[blueta2]

The amount of time alone doesn't equate to what you do with that time.

I'm sure she is over him. For whatever reason she still talks to him, that doesn't matter. What matters is you're not comfortable with it and this relationship is putting you in the "crazies" of snopping and wondering. When you get to this point and there is no real evidence from the other person, you need to see in yourself why this is happening.

 

[chesty]

true. I over analyze situations and make more out them than there really is. Which is a bad thing

 

[xrsist]

The amount of time alone doesn't equate to what you do with that time.

I'm sure she is over him. For whatever reason she still talks to him, that doesn't matter. What matters is you're not comfortable with it and this relationship is putting you in the "crazies" of snopping and wondering. When you get to this point and there is no real evidence from the other person, you need to see in yourself why this is happening.

but she is still having lunch/dinner and a night in watching moves with him behind chestys back

 

[blueta2]

but she is still having lunch/dinner and a night in watching moves with him behind chestys back

Like I said, it's not about her. She is a grown woman and can do what she wants. If she wants to be friends with her ex, that is her choice. If he doesn't like it, he needs to move on.
You cannot tell people who and how they can act.
He either trusts her relationship with her ex or not.

 

[chesty]

true and the flip side is she should be open about what/when/etc she is doing with her ex and not make up stories or lie.

 

[xrsist]

Like I said, it's not about her. She is a grown woman and can do what she wants. If she wants to be friends with her ex, that is her choice. If he doesn't like it, he needs to move on.
You cannot tell people who and how they can act.
He either trusts her relationship with her ex or not.

i wouldnt be too happy if the mrs ex was sleeping with her behind my back and she was lying about it so case closed.. move on chesty