I wish you could ..I wish someone could!
It's my dad....We found out some bad news this week. I'm not doing well from this news. I'm going to lose my dad , J. He has cancer of the bladder.
I feel as though I'm walking the death march along with him and my mom. I have NEVER felt sooooo outta control. He's beat EVERY rotten thing in his life until now. I have to face that my dad is 76 year's old and now has a death notice over his head. I feel sooo damn scared. I have NEVER been afraid in my life until now. Not even when he had his stroke did I feel he'd NOT make it! Something always told me he'd be fine..and he was..this is sooooo different. My heart is broken and my spirit is shaken right now. It's NOT like me to not be strong....Never in my life have I felt such a loss of strenght and positive attitude.
It's their 55 year wedding anniversary tomorrow, J. 55 wonderful year's and now this to look forward too. Shitty deal.
I feel as though my heart is being ripped from my chest when I think of all this .....I just want to escape...