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I earned "special sex" from the wife tonight...

L

Longhorn85

New member
I was watering my yard tonight with the hand sprinkler and my wife came out to talk to me while holding the baby. She was standing on the lawn and after a few minutes realized that ants had started to crawl up her leg and were biting her. She couldn't slap them off because her arms were around the baby so she just started dancing and screaming a little.

Being the quick thinking military man that I am, I immediately turned the hand sprinkler on her and soaked her juicy legs.

At first she was shocked, then she stopped jumping around and just let me hose the ants off.

I am her hero tonight, and she will reward me. :)
 
No shit. She is always pretty good to me but tonight she will pull out the stops. Rare for a school night. I applied rubbing alcohol later to add more points.
 
By "special sex" I thought you meant she let her boyfriend fuck you.


Just teasing.
 
Anal AssPlorer said:
By "special sex" I thought you meant she let her boyfriend fuck you.
Just teasing.
Click to expand...

Ha, ha. For you that would be special sex. For me it would be the ultimate punishment. She has no time for a boyfriend though, I keep her pretty busy. :)
 
ttlpkg said:


Ha, ha. For you that would be special sex. For me it would be the ultimate punishment. She has no time for a boyfriend though, I keep her pretty busy. :)
Click to expand...

I have heard THAT one before.....

Just when I was getting ready to request pics...
 
I am her hero tonight, and she will reward me. :) [/B]
Click to expand...


Help me out with this, bro... just to be sure I got it right. I brought the garden hose inside the house... and I'm gonna be hiding with it behind the couch. When my girlfriend gets off work and comes through the front door... I jump from behind the couch and soak her good. Then I get great sex.

Right? :confused:
 
ttlpkg said:
I was watering my yard tonight with the hand sprinkler and my wife came out to talk to me while holding the baby. She was standing on the lawn and after a few minutes realized that ants had started to crawl up her leg and were biting her. She couldn't slap them off because her arms were around the baby so she just started dancing and screaming a little.

Being the quick thinking military man that I am, I immediately turned the hand sprinkler on her and soaked her juicy legs.

At first she was shocked, then she stopped jumping around and just let me hose the ants off.

I am her hero tonight, and she will reward me. :)
Click to expand...

I'm envious of you. I will spend yet another night beating my meat.
 
Re: Re: I earned "special sex" from the wife tonight...

sereneman said:


I'm envious of you. I will spend yet another night beating my meat.
Click to expand...

I'm a member of tha club too. Even got the commemorative jacket. :D
 
TTLPKG

WHEN IT COMES TIME THAT YOU HAVE TO EARN SPECIAL SEX FOR THE OLD LADY, ITS TIME TO GET DIVORCED.


KAYNE
 
Sassy69 said:
Amazing how rewarding yard work can be...! ;)
Click to expand...

Not for me lady. I'm come in from busting my ass in the heat and all I get are my sister's dogs trying to take advantage of me because i'm too exhausted to fight back. I must have been really bad in another life.
 
"Special sex" for me is when I use my right hand to gently sqeeze and massage my balls while I jack my cack with the other. Sometimes, if I am using my trusty "High Society" wack mag, and focus on a really good full penetration pic AND get a perfect corresponding fantasy going, I can shoot it extra far.:horny:
 
Hey I just gave some Karma. Didn't know I could do that. They said i can get 100 free karma points by becoming a platinum member. Oh boy. If I try hard enough, I might get enough for that space book comic.
 
I tried spraying a girl down with a hose once just like that.. but the resulting effect was almost totally opposite.
 
sereneman said:
Hey I just gave some Karma. Didn't know I could do that. They said i can get 100 free karma points by becoming a platinum member. Oh boy. If I try hard enough, I might get enough for that space book comic.
Click to expand...

Lies...it's all lies! Don't believe them! I didn't get my 100 karma points or 500 posts when I joined Platinum! Whaaaaaaaaaa!!!
 
sereneman said:
Casavant, you're a funny MF. God made people like you to keep me from blowing my brains out. Bless you
Click to expand...

KAYNE- Yes, you're right, but I just can't help it. Hey, they're hetero wack mags, at least.

sereneman- I'm glad you find that amusing. I do too, and the best part is that it is true. If you lifted up my mattress right now, you would find a "High Society" magazine. I used to have a couple of those really skanky ones that you get in 3-packs at the XXX video store- they had names like "Anally Yours" and "From the Rear". There were a lot of chicks getting pounded in the ass, but they were all, like, vintage 1978. Between the fucked up clothes and the excess pubic and ass hair on the chicks, it kind of messed up the fantasy. I mean, you're busting a nut to the stuff, but at the same time you can't help thinking how embarrassed you would be if your friends found out what your material was. I have a massage oil bottle full of vegetable oil next to my bed. Veggie oil is the best, actually. I've tried a shitload of lubes, and the whole time the ultimate jack juice was the stuff I use to keep my eggs from sticking to the pan. It's the perfect blend of silkiness and viscosity. Jacking off is some good shit.

As far as the blowing out of brains, I take prescription drugs and it allows me to squeeze a lot more fun out of this shitty joke we call life. :FRlol: Do a search on my pre-February posts and you may see what I'm talking about.

I'm out of here for the night, y'all. Take 'er easy.
 
casavant said:


KAYNE- Yes, you're right, but I just can't help it. Hey, they're hetero wack mags, at least.

sereneman- I'm glad you find that amusing. I do too, and the best part is that it is true. If you lifted up my mattress right now, you would find a "High Society" magazine. I used to have a couple of those really skanky ones that you get in 3-packs at the XXX video store- they had names like "Anally Yours" and "From the Rear". There were a lot of chicks getting pounded in the ass, but they were all, like, vintage 1978. Between the fucked up clothes and the excess pubic and ass hair on the chicks, it kind of messed up the fantasy. I mean, you're busting a nut to the stuff, but at the same time you can't help thinking how embarrassed you would be if your friends found out what your material was. I have a massage oil bottle full of vegetable oil next to my bed. Veggie oil is the best, actually. I've tried a shitload of lubes, and the whole time the ultimate jack juice was the stuff I use to keep my eggs from sticking to the pan. It's the perfect blend of silkiness and viscosity. Jacking off is some good shit.

As far as the blowing out of brains, I take prescription drugs and it allows me to squeeze a lot more fun out of this shitty joke we call life. :FRlol: Do a search on my pre-February posts and you may see what I'm talking about.

I'm out of here for the night, y'all. Take 'er easy.
Click to expand...

That was beautiful. :lmao:
 
KAYNE said:
TTLPKG

WHEN IT COMES TIME THAT YOU HAVE TO EARN SPECIAL SEX FOR THE OLD LADY, ITS TIME TO GET DIVORCED.


KAYNE
Click to expand...

Well Kayne, I don't know if you're married or not, but special is a relative term. Even if it is good every night, it can always be better, ya know?

Putting it in military terms, a wise commander will always keep a reserve effort available so he can surge to influence the battle at just the right time...
 
Mmmmm..... hose sex in the backyard......

Better yet....fill up the kiddie pool and wait for a star filled night for some lovin! My neighbor's still have not been the same towards us......:D
 
vixenbabe said:
Mmmmm..... hose sex in the backyard......
Click to expand...

That's a great idea sweet thang! If I were your hubby I wouldn't need to be in the yard to hose you down, know what I mean?

Hey guess what? I fell asleep without reward last night cuz I was exhausted from work. No problem, we woke up early this morning and the reward session was underway, on par for a "hall of fame" performance and then my 9 month old woke up. Game over.

I have to take a raincheck tonight. I have like 24 hours to take advantage of the "special" sex I earned. This is an unwritten rule, but I have found this is how it usually works. When my boy grows up maybe I can explain this to him someday.
 
vixenbabe said:
Mmmmm..... hose sex in the backyard......

Better yet....fill up the kiddie pool and wait for a star filled night for some lovin! My neighbor's still have not been the same towards us......:D
Click to expand...

From looking at you in that avatar I can think of 101 uses for that white bed post/head railing. I wonder how sturdy it is?
 
Hey....You need to call a baby sitter and take the wife away for the weekend. Just the two of you for a weekend of sleeping in and all day sex. No cooking or kids crying.Does wonder's for a marriage with a new baby in the house.

My hubby called my folks when Bri was around 5 months old to babysit her. He took me away for the weekend. It was one of the best gift's he could have given me at the time.

I know your wife works hard (as do you) but this could NOT be any better gift for the BOTH of you when a new baby is in the house, J.

In regards to the day bed in my office...It's rather small but we have pulled a few rounds on it and in it..hehehe. Our bed is the fun bed..It's a pencil post bed with HUGE posts for the ole silk rope routine. (wink wink) I like to refer to it as the playpen!

You made me laugh..You have NO idea how much I need that today...Can't even talk about it....:bawling:
 
I wish you could ..I wish someone could!

It's my dad....We found out some bad news this week. I'm not doing well from this news. I'm going to lose my dad , J. He has cancer of the bladder.

I feel as though I'm walking the death march along with him and my mom. I have NEVER felt sooooo outta control. He's beat EVERY rotten thing in his life until now. I have to face that my dad is 76 year's old and now has a death notice over his head. I feel sooo damn scared. I have NEVER been afraid in my life until now. Not even when he had his stroke did I feel he'd NOT make it! Something always told me he'd be fine..and he was..this is sooooo different. My heart is broken and my spirit is shaken right now. It's NOT like me to not be strong....Never in my life have I felt such a loss of strenght and positive attitude.

It's their 55 year wedding anniversary tomorrow, J. 55 wonderful year's and now this to look forward too. Shitty deal.

I feel as though my heart is being ripped from my chest when I think of all this .....I just want to escape...
 
ttlpkg said:
I was watering my yard tonight with the hand sprinkler and my wife came out to talk to me while holding the baby. She was standing on the lawn and after a few minutes realized that ants had started to crawl up her leg and were biting her. She couldn't slap them off because her arms were around the baby so she just started dancing and screaming a little.

Being the quick thinking military man that I am, I immediately turned the hand sprinkler on her and soaked her juicy legs.

At first she was shocked, then she stopped jumping around and just let me hose the ants off.

I am her hero tonight, and she will reward me. :)
Click to expand...

Your wife sounds easily impressed. Do you get blown for passing the salt?
 
Sorry to hear that VB -- your family is in my prayers.

ttlpkg -- honey, you know I like to check out your "special" threads ;)
 
ttlpkg said:


Well Kayne, I don't know if you're married or not, but special is a relative term. Even if it is good every night, it can always be better, ya know?

Putting it in military terms, a wise commander will always keep a reserve effort available so he can surge to influence the battle at just the right time...
Click to expand...

THATS A GOOD POINT. IT SOUNDED TO ME (MY MISTAKE) THAT YOU AND SHE DIDNT HAVE MUCH SEX ANYMORE BUT SINCE YOU DID HER A FAVOR, SHE REWARDED YOU WITH SOME ASS. I SEE NOW THAT WAS JUST A MOTIVATOR FOR HER TO GET EVEN MORE FREAKY THAN USUAL...AM I CORRECT? FREAKY SEX IS A WONDERFUL THING ISNT IT!!! MY EX AND THE ONE I'M WITH NOW ARE VERY FREAKY. ITS GREAT.



KAYNE
 
yea i had some special sex this past weekend myself. got to fuck my girl and her best friend all night while rollin'. a hot blonde and a hot redhead both with d-cup jubilee's. yea it was pretty damn "special".
 
ttlpkg said:


TEXgrl you are one kinky, imaginative biatch! That one went over my head. Can you explain?
Click to expand...


mmmm, not sure i can explain it, i'm pretty sure you can figure it out if you think about it tho!;)






Spongebob: that was very special! you be sure to thank your girl! there arent many out there like her!

:angel:
 
TEXgrl said:
mmmm, not sure i can explain it, i'm pretty sure you can figure it out if you think about it tho!;)

Click to expand...

Just a little hint, please? I may try it out this weekend. :) You can PM me if it's too kinky to reveal here.
 
TEXgrl said:








Spongebob: that was very special! you be sure to thank your girl! there arent many out there like her!

:angel:
Click to expand...

she already recieved a dozon roses and a gift. i'll probably return the favor.

p.s. i dont recall killing any ants either, maybe it was that cockroach that i killed last week that did it.
 
vixenbabe said:
I wish you could ..I wish someone could!

It's my dad....We found out some bad news this week. I'm not doing well from this news. I'm going to lose my dad , J. He has cancer of the bladder.

I feel as though I'm walking the death march along with him and my mom. I have NEVER felt sooooo outta control. He's beat EVERY rotten thing in his life until now. I have to face that my dad is 76 year's old and now has a death notice over his head. I feel sooo damn scared. I have NEVER been afraid in my life until now. Not even when he had his stroke did I feel he'd NOT make it! Something always told me he'd be fine..and he was..this is sooooo different. My heart is broken and my spirit is shaken right now. It's NOT like me to not be strong....Never in my life have I felt such a loss of strenght and positive attitude.

It's their 55 year wedding anniversary tomorrow, J. 55 wonderful year's and now this to look forward too. Shitty deal.

I feel as though my heart is being ripped from my chest when I think of all this .....I just want to escape...
Click to expand...

jesus...i am so sorry for you sweetheart....kronk and kronkette hearts are with you and your in our prayers....
 
Sorry to hear about that Vix. If you remember I just lost my mom at the end of April so I know what your going through babe. Stay strong and as the Gladiator says "You'll see him again, Just not yet."
 
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