Am i the only one??????

[musclemom]

No offense musclemom but you ARE being a litte biased. Yeah you've given some good advice and it is partly up to him to make things work but it is up to her too. When a woman gets married and has kids that shouldn't be an excuse to change the deal and stop bothering with sex. DJ_UFO is dead right when he said that sex is like food to a lot of men. Very few women will understand that completely.

You're right, I am biased, it probably stems from seeing the same thing over and over, these unloved, unlaid men almost never say the following: I'VE TALKED TO HER.

If I have a problem with my husband, I talk to him. If my husband has a problem with me, he TALKS TO ME.

You're right, I don't understand most men. You claim sex is an essential ingredient to your survival, but you won't open your freaking pie holes and SPEAK to the women you've committed your lives to and say "Umm, I'm finding the quantity/quality of our sex life recently somewhat unsatisfactory, what are your feelings about this matter and could we possibly do something about this?"

 

[LoneTree]

Having 3 kids is an excuse. Get your head out of your ass and talk to her about it. Find out what's the real issues if she says she is just to tired. There is always a deeper issue. If that truely is the issue than it is time to get your wife out on a date. Chances you have gotten lazy in your relationship so someone has to be the grown up.

I agree.

 

[Mickey36]

Everyone's situation is different. I can tell you that I go through times when I am not horny and in the mood but I understand that my husband needs sex not only for sexual gratification but also for mental gratification. He needs to feel like I want him. Many men, at the core, need to feel like they are sexual attracted by their mate. If they do not feel that way, then they are more likely to seek that mental and physical connection else where. If she is open to communication, then I would talk to her and not be afraid to tell her how it makes you feel. If she still doesn't care, then there could be other underlying issues and do what you have to. You are right, being tired and mentally exhausted is not an excuse that should be carried on for two months.

Cheers,

Mickey

 

[EXTREMEBOWHNTR]

MOM, when i wrote this I was looking for a guys view of the situation (Maybe i should have stated that) Only a guy would know how I feel and I think only a guy could help...... Every women is different. Every man is the same (sex, warm meal, clean house) dont disagree because this is a fact and every guy will agree with me. (BJ's come with the sex part so dont bother adding those). Another thing that i have found is, race and the way the woman was brought up play a huge part in the way she acts. No offence but if you have kids almost as old as me you were brought up different then Her or I. Look at the other countries in this world most women treat there husband like a king. (THERE A LITTLE BEHIND THE TIMES BUT HEY HISTORY IS SUPPOSED TO REPEAT ITSELF RIGHT????) Im not asking to be treated like a king by any means just using it as an example. Dont bash it its the truth.

Now i live in Ca, Lived here all of my life (know no different). To me it seems like everyone here looks up to the rich and famous and want to live the OC lifestyle. No matter what a women gets, its not enough. 1st starts with clothes then fake boobs then a facelift then lypo etc. etc. etc.

If your not greatful for what you have, then the person who provides these things doesent mean shit.

Dont bother bashing this think about it first before you spout off in anger.

Now its hard to give all the details when your typing here because there are so many.
1.we talk and she says she will work on it. (been saying it for the last month) Ionly live once and time is passing me by. I really havent bothered her about it since then.(To give her some space)
2. My wife my kids and myself go to churh every sunday and religon helps out alot.
3. She had depression after our second kid. Then got hooked on pain killers and is trying to wheen herself off as we speak.
4. I love my wife and i love my kids and i love my family.

I was hoping this was a medical issuse that some one has experienced, because it seems as if ive tried everything. MAYBE I YES I SAID I AM MISSING SOMETHING!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you have a fruit tree that doesnt produce what to you do cut it down and get rid of it.
If you hav a dead animal whos meat spoiled what do you do with it..........

In previous post i had talked about leaving. To be honest I dont think I could do it because it would hurt my childred to much. But then again you only live once so what the fuck do you do.
Thanks again for everyones input (EVEN YOU MOM LOL)

 

[cindylou]

Men and women want sex for different reasons. We are motivated by different reasons. Understanding the motivations of a woman will help you with your problem. Seeking counseling can help small problems from developing into bigger ones that can destroy a marriage.

 

[EXTREMEBOWHNTR]

almost forgot another to the list of details.... This has been going on for about the past 5 years!!!!!!! (Sex every two months)

 

[tomw]

MOM, when i wrote this I was looking for a guys view of the situation (Maybe i should have stated that) Only a guy would know how I feel and I think only a guy could help...... Every women is different. Every man is the same (sex, warm meal, clean house) dont disagree because this is a fact and every guy will agree with me. (BJ's come with the sex part so dont bother adding those). Another thing that i have found is, race and the way the woman was brought up play a huge part in the way she acts. No offence but if you have kids almost as old as me you were brought up different then Her or I. Look at the other countries in this world most women treat there husband like a king. (THERE A LITTLE BEHIND THE TIMES BUT HEY HISTORY IS SUPPOSED TO REPEAT ITSELF RIGHT????) Im not asking to be treated like a king by any means just using it as an example. Dont bash it its the truth.

Now i live in Ca, Lived here all of my life (know no different). To me it seems like everyone here looks up to the rich and famous and want to live the OC lifestyle. No matter what a women gets, its not enough. 1st starts with clothes then fake boobs then a facelift then lypo etc. etc. etc.

If your not greatful for what you have, then the person who provides these things doesent mean shit.

Dont bother bashing this think about it first before you spout off in anger.

Now its hard to give all the details when your typing here because there are so many.
1.we talk and she says she will work on it. (been saying it for the last month) Ionly live once and time is passing me by. I really havent bothered her about it since then.(To give her some space)
2. My wife my kids and myself go to churh every sunday and religon helps out alot.
3. She had depression after our second kid. Then got hooked on pain killers and is trying to wheen herself off as we speak.
4. I love my wife and i love my kids and i love my family.

I was hoping this was a medical issuse that some one has experienced, because it seems as if ive tried everything. MAYBE I YES I SAID I AM MISSING SOMETHING!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you have a fruit tree that doesnt produce what to you do cut it down and get rid of it.
If you hav a dead animal whos meat spoiled what do you do with it..........

In previous post i had talked about leaving. To be honest I dont think I could do it because it would hurt my childred to much. But then again you only live once so what the fuck do you do.
Thanks again for everyones input (EVEN YOU MOM LOL)

I think you stated the problem with item #3 ,the pain killers,opioids over time will have a detromental impact on hormone production wich would greatly decrease sex drive.if she stops completly you should notice a diferance but it will take a few months

 

[musclemom]

In previous post i had talked about leaving. To be honest I dont think I could do it because it would hurt my childred to much. But then again you only live once so what the fuck do you do. Thanks again for everyones input (EVEN YOU MOM LOL)

Do me a favor, kid, don't call me mom. You haven't been on this board long enough to earn that right.

California, huh? Well there's incentive to stay in the marriage all by itself, talk about shitty divorce laws. Looks like you better get used to living in the pussy equivalent of the Sahara or get your asses into a marriage counselor's office.

I wish you luck with your old lady, bowhunter, whether you wanted the advise of a pathetic old witch or not. I'll tell you one thing for sure, avoiding being "home" when you're not working by going on hunting trips, going to the gym, and hanging on computer message boards ain't gonna help the sex situation.

 

[DJ_UFO]

I understand musclemom's point of view for the fact that there is a fundamental problem in the relationship that must be confronted, understood and discussed to find a solution. Most of the time is not possible to do it by both of you at that stage. Is way down in the core of the relationship. BOTH MUST understand and realize that men and women are totally different and opposite species; the only way to make a relationship lasting is to put aside any pride and give to the other one what it needs without expecting something in return. It is absolutely hard to do. We all have different personalities, we all have bad moments, bad days, and in a marriage, we share those moments with the other person.

Now from the point of view of a man, it is a hard thing to say....but I am aware as a man that we are nasty bastards. In my case, I am a very "horny" man, and if for some reason I can't have sex with the woman I'm with, my whole personality change. I become rude, aggressive, intolerant...I KNOW is a bad thing, but I guess is impossible to avoid. It is just the nature of man. WE ARE NOT A SPECIE OF ONE SINGLE SEXUAL PARTNER. By nature we are designed to reproduce as much as we can with as many females as we can in order to improve the specie. Forcing ourselves into a single sexual partner relationship might have catastrophic psycho logic consequences for some individuals.

Whatever is your case, you gotta act as a knight. Confront the problem. Stand up, man up. Put everything from your part. Go see a professional. Go see a psychologist by yourself. If possible see a female doc and a male doc so you have professional point of views from both sexes. Go together to counseling. If there is no solution, again, man up. If divorce is the exit, so be it. Change careers, go to school, whatever. There is always an exit for every problem, and there is always a worst situation to be in. Just make sure whatever is the result, that will be the best for the kids and for both of you. DO NOT WAIT UNTIL THE SITUATION BECOMES UNSUSTAINABLE. There is no reason to get to that point.

 

[EXTREMEBOWHNTR]

Again thanks for all the input. Well see what happens.