flexkish80 said:
oka girl is comming from canada bc thats where she goes to school, but she is from my home town. we havent sen each other in awhile but she has been texting me dirty messages, talking dirty on the phone, and also sending naked pics of her, and all of the sudden it has stopped. wont text or call me back.. now she ways we are moving to fast and i know what i want and she doesnt, and she is thinking about getting back with her old BF whom she told me she couldnt stnd is an asshole who treats he rlike a shit. how can i squash this situation and get this woman in my arms the way it SHOULD be? oh yea and in Canada they dont have Victoria's Secrect so I sent her some sexy stuf from there. Thanks to all! Need help fast bc she is comming to the states soon! THANKS ALL!
The responses so far seem on target. She is back with her boyfriend and doesn't want to lead you on. But if all you want is for her to be in your arms like you said, you can play it in a way that maybe you can at least hook up with her once or twice when she is back in town. First of all, don't go all emotional on her and tell her that she hurt you or anything like that. She will definitely turn the other way and run like a bat out of hell with that shit. Letting her know your interested is one thing, letting her know that your "in love" with her is going to get a whole different reaction.You do have to show that you have a "I don't care if I don't get you" attitude. If she feels that she's not as special to you as she first thought, she will try and get you to do things that will show her that she is special to you. ONce she knows that she is special to you, you will be put on a back burner. Why? Because she knows that you will drop everything to be with her whenever she wants. Why would she rush to you now if she knows that you will still take her just as fast 5 months down the line? And if she's very attractive, this will put you in the same category with a whole shitload of other guys that will do that exact same thing, and you won't be anything special to her. And what you don't want to do is to lay into her about how dumb she is for going back to her bf, and arguing about crap like that. This will get you negative points with her, because who wants to talk to someone if that someone just points out your faults and mistakes? And if you lay out your feelings and all this shit, telling her how much she means to you, that you feel hurt, and all that, she will definitely AVOID you once she gets to town. Why? Because you will come across as too emotionally needy, and that's a definite turn-off for women. But if you show that you're something different, that you don't need her, that your cool with her being back with her BF (without listening to her stories of drama about him...a BIG no-no!), she won't feel as awkward or uncomfortable once she does see you in person when she gets to town. Remember, its the way you make a woman FEEL that makes her attracted to you. Laying out your emotions will just make her uncomfortable. But if you can make her laugh, and feel great because of talking to you despite the fact that she is back with her bf, your chances are greater that she will want to see you once she is back in town. Don't act depressing or moody just because she may be back with her bf, and don't interrogate her on it. Act like you don't care if she is back with him, because you've got other prospects yourself. Thats very important! If you show her that your not willing to take the time to chase after her because you've got other tail to invest time into, she will take that as a blow to her ego. She'll be saying to herself, "Why is it that I'm not as special to him as I once thought?" And she'll need to find out why. This also shows confidence, that you don't need her. You may WANT her, but you don't need her.
Also, tease around with her and use alot of humor. Give her shit about going back to him, but in a teasing way that doesn't make her angry at you, but makes her laugh but a bit uncomfortable that you now see her as someone that has to go back to someone she didn't really want to go back to. What you will be doing by being this way is, within her eyes and mind, placing your "status" higher than hers. If this happens, chances are much better that she will see you more as someone she would find attractive, than someone she can easily manipulate emotionally simply because you are attracted to her.
She KNOWS you've seen naked pics of her, she KNOWS that she's turned you on by talking dirty to you and so on. In her mind, your someone she can manipulate with her sex appeal. But if you show her that your are ok with you both not hooking up, she will question the strength of her sex appeal, and this will screw with her ego. If you get her to feel that your perfectly OK that any hooking up won't happen, she may go back to flirting with you just to prove to herself that she does have "it". And when she does, pull back just a little more. The more you pull back, the stronger she'll bring it.
And if her finding out that you don't really care that you won't hook up with her and she doesn't seem interested in why you don't care, that means that SHE was never really interested to begin with.
Bottom line is, make any time spent talking with her on the phone or being online with her pleasant for HER, like making her laugh, showing you dont mind her being back with her boyfriend (by letting her know this, she will feel less uncomfortable about making contact with you once she knows you won't be pissed, and this opens up more chances that she will call you), and showing yourself to be confident. If she likes having contact with you, the better your chances of hooking up with her once she gets back to town. And the opposite will happen if you do things like flame her about going back to her bf, how much you hurt over her, listening to her drama stories (this will put you in her "we're just friends" category), or argue in any way.
I don't know the full story, but if communication between you two is limited then your going to be limited as to how much you can say to her. What you don't want to do is constantly try to contact her, over and over. That is definitely going to put you on her "stalker" list. If she won't text you or call you back, you may be all out of luck. Just back off and see what her next move is. This will at least show her that you CAN live without her. As long as you chase her around, she won't see you as true "boyfriend" material, but instead as some lovesick puppy type who won't stop following her. Women don't want this; it creeps them out. And if they do, its only to feed their own ego.
Does all this seem like your being manipulating, if you go about it this way? You may say, "that's not right. I'm not being honest, or being myself." Well, normal courtship between a man and a woman is all about manipulation, and not being your real self anyway once you really think about it. Does a man really buy a woman dinner because he knows she's hungry? Or is it because he wants to get into her pants?
^^^^All that is because you asked for advice. Now here's my 2 cents: find someone else because it sounds like this will go nowhere. Spending time with another girl will get your mind off of her faster than anything else!!!
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