ugh, right when i think my life is fine, it falls in the shitter again

[guldukat]

Bro, I know how you feel. A few months ago, I was just looking into going back to school full time, when my pyscho girlfriend just became too much for me to handle, so I dumped her for the 4th time, but this time was so shitty to her that she didn't try to get me back. I felt really bad about doing, but had to do it even though I was totally in love with her.

That alone is rough, man.

Some people like to say that love is caring about a person more than you do yourself, but I always say, "If I'm a total wreck, I can't do much good to anybody can I?" You have to try and do something for yourself first in a lot of circumstances. I didn't abide by that and it nearly destroyed me, to the point that when it did come time to part ways I no longer had the strength to do what was right.

I think you did the right thing.

Explaining why would take about 3 pages. A week later I got fired from my job for something I didn't do. Then my ex-employer fought my unemployment benefits. In the city I live in, it is virtually impossible to find a job in the summer that pays more than minimum wage unless you have a degree. Fortunely the job paid pretty well so I had money saved up (I was going to save for another year, then stop working and go to school full time until I graduate).

That's a catch-22, isn't it?

On the one hand, to go to school, you need money...but you can't make enough money to comfortably afford it unless you've got a degree! Agh.

That's a great move, finishing school. Too many people get bogged down with things and don't get back. I was lucky in that my great-grandmother was Scrooge McDuck-rich and paid my tuition all 9 semesters, 10 actually counting summer school (one of those caused in part by my weakness during the bad break-up).

Now, in the mean time I've been trying to diet down on tren and a keto diet, which plays havoc on your mood. Well, anyway things are beginning to work out. I'm getting $300 a week (for now at least) in unemployment, after about 6 weeks of fighting them. I'm about to sue for sexual harassment. I'm back in school, and just retook a speech class I dropped some time back because I couldn't stand to give speeches. I finished the class last week, and got an A.

Outstanding! I hope the suit goes well for you.

I'm using my unemployment, and lack of visable income to apply for alot of government aid, so that I can finish school. I've come to terms with some things from my past that have totally screwed up my life (the details I don't feel comfortable talking about on this board). The only thing that doesn't seem to be working out is my love life. Getting laid is easy enough, but finding someone for a relationship isn't working. Still, things are looking better now. Just hang in there bro and don't give up.

Good advice.

Fin, I'm glad you're doing better. What you said in another post of this thread had me worried, as I've been down that path.

If you ever need to vent about the difficulties you've faced, let me know. My e-mail is open to anyone that wants it.

 

[beanball]

the thing is, ive been "haning in there" for the past 5 years of my life. It starts too seem pointless. My life has been so fucked because of my parents and now that I got kicked out, and I seriously have 21 dollars to my name right now. My dad didnt give me any help when he kicked me out, and now hes moving to a different state. My mom is useless, i havent even seen her in a year and she makes as much money as most high school students. Now that I have no car i cant get a job, and if i dont have a job i cant get a place to live. life doesnt even seem worth the trouble anymore.

I don't know squat about your situation other than what you've said, so I'm not gunna give one of those "I can relate" posts. I can say I"ve had my share of financial difficulties. I guess across the board in life, if all you make yourself believe you can do is "just hang on" then that's what you will do. But moving beyond that involves waking up each morning with a plan on how to make things better. Plan for short term and long term. Obviously both are important for survival. As for making ends meet with no cash to get on your feet, find a job in a restaraunt/bar as a barback even if you have no experience. The restaraunt industry takes care of its own, and you're likely to find a roommate through there, and there's always food there too. Finding a place to stay will only be a problem for a week or two - you'll be making cash and worst case scenerio you can stay in a hotel with that. Overtime is generally not a problem in that industry either, since most money is made from tips. After a few months of experience you can move to virtually any restaraunt in the English speaking world. That gives you freedom. Moreover, that gives you the ability to stop living hand-to-mouth, and save a few bucks here and there to plan long term.

Other industries can give the same opportunity, I only mention the restaraunt industry because it's familiar to me. WHat is important isn't the industry though. It's getting out of the "just hanging on" mentality, getting a plan, and getting past the days that suck in order to get to the days that don't suck. It doesn't happen over night, but it never happens without a plan . . .

 

[louden_swain]

Lee,

Sorry to here about all of this.

If I were you, I would think about joining the military. . . by serving your country, you can earn some money for college, plus you are guaranteed food, shelter, and training.

 

[c3bodybuilding]

Lee, you are getting all sorts of great advice from everyone. The only thing I can add, is that it is now time for you to be strong. All this nonsense talk about living not being worth it has to end. You are a strong person, and will make it through this. Follow a lot of the GREAT advice given in above posts, and keep a tough mindset, and you will get through this. Probably a year from now, you will be in a different position in life, and look back at this with a chuckle.

 

[gettinlarger]

Lee,

Sorry to here about all of this.

If I were you, I would think about joining the military. . . by serving your country, you can earn some money for college, plus you are guaranteed food, shelter, and training.

That ain't a bad idea.

Remember man, as shitty as you think your life is, there's always someone who has it worse than you that is fighting harder. You want to see someone with a shitty life? Go visit a children's burn unit in the hospital. Or a cancer ward.

I hope things pull through for you bro. You're a good guy, and don't deserve the life you are telling us about.

Stay strong man.

 

[guldukat]

well today my friends mom (whos house ive been living at for around 3 weeks) told me i need to move out soon. 3 days ago my car died again, the tranny that was rebuilt 6 months ago, then never even driven til 2 weeks ago, went out. and the warranty expired july 4th. he might be nice and do the work since there isnt even 1000 miles on the transmission, but i dunno. i still dont have a job due to my car either being low on gas or not working. sometimes it would be easier to just not be alive. [/B]

I know. It's always easier, young bro, but it's never better.

I'm really sorry to hear about your difficulties, Lee.

I know you've been hanging in there for a long time and are tired. You had to become a man when most your age are still little boys, which just isn't fair to you.

But you've already gotten this far, purely on your own. You've worked too hard to get to the point where you really can do something to get your life on the track you want--to MAKE things "fair." One day sooner than you realize, your own family will greatly benefit from a strong, self-reliant dad and husband.

It seems like pure hell now; I can only imagine, really, what it must feel like. But you will make it better. I know it. DO fight for yourself a bit longer...you're frustrated, I know, but that's all those negative influences talking, NOT you.

Just awhile longer, be the Lee we've all seen in these forums--the strong young man who takes things by the balls. You are strong, too, whether you realize it or not. Lots of people quote Nietzsche, but men of character, men like you, are THE reason he wrote, "Was mich nicht tötet, macht mich stärker."

What does not kill me makes me stronger.

 

[guldukat]

Re: Re: ugh, right when i think my life is fine, it falls in the shitter again

Lee,

I think Louden has a superb idea. Military service is always a good option. You'd certainly have an easier time with the physical aspects of it than most men your age

 

[mikey297]

Things happen for a reason bro. Hang in there and know that whatever trials you face can only make you stronger in the end.

Have faith.

 

[spatts]

Beanball gave you some solid advice for a plan. Working as a server will be instant cash, and you can walk home with money in your pocket and a job to list on your rental application right away. Like he said, they take care of their own. That's no joke. Millions of people have it better than you, and millions of people have it worse. Get a plan, and act. Don't blame your parents even if they are responsible. They may have "fucked you up," but if you keep fucking yourself, that's all you. Show them how it's done...move on, move up.

 

[Liftbig]

tipped jobs are good. i deliver pizzas and i usually take 60-70 dollars home on a good night. working as a waiter wouldnt be a bad gig either, plus people tip more usually at restuarants.