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Victorian guy
New member
Brothers,
The other day, at the gym, I was dismayed to see the lack of intensity and proper form going on around me, and decided to give others the benefit of my expertise. I had just finished a set of tricep-pushdowns, and I noticed a silence in the gym, and members gaping at me. For extra weight, Nobby had climbed on the stack and, screaming, I repped out the combined weight of Nobby AND the stack- the cable suddenly snapped, and Nobby and the stack came crashing down. Just another snapped cable. Nothing to fuss about. So what were the pencil necks staring at?
I'd show them how to bloody well train, brothers!!
Nobby and I strutted about the gym, giving our encouragement and support. A tiny woman, who must have been born in the 19th century, and looked like she weighed 80 pounds, was curling simply the bar- and struggling. I quickly was on the scene, and began coaching her - "Come on, then. One more, BUSINESS AS USUAL, come THE FUCK ON, FOR FUCKS SAKES, ONE MORE, BITCH!!!" I screamed in her face, spewing a shower of fine spit particles all over her. Her face a mask of fear and anguish, she groaned and squeezed out a few more forced reps, before collapsing to the ground. "Good show! ALL-FUCKIN-RIGHT!" I screamed. Nobby nodded his approval.
Next was a fellow doing squats. Nobby and I watched, and were sickened by his lack of drive. He was squatting a mere 225- and wheezing! I stormed over after he finished his set, picked up the bar, and curled it 20 times, then dropped it in front of him. "That is nothing! YOU WILL squat more!". Nobby loaded a couple of 45's on each side of the bar, and, grabbing the weasel by the back of the neck, put him in front of it. "Squat!" I roared. The man took the bar off the rack, and,whimpering, squatted down. He was having a devil of a time getting back up. Another gym member came running over to 'help'- Nobby saw him coming, stretched out his arm, and clotheslined the man with an unheard of power, sending him into multiple back-flips before he crashed onto the gym floor. Another trouble-maker came from the other direction, ostensibly to help the fellow squatting up, and Nobby whipped out his bike chain, wrapped it round his fist, and met the man with a terrific punch to the face that lifted him up off of his feet, and he came crashing back to the ground like a sack of wet cement.
I stood over the fellow squatting. "UP UP UP!!" I screamed, and Nobby lashed the man across the back with his chain and snarled "Get on yer fookin feet!" Finally, with superhuman effort, the man managed to get up. Nobby and I racked the bar as he collapsed under it.
The manager approached us and, looking terrified, squealed "Uh...please...gentlemen...some people are getting hurt..." I was insulted. "Fine- you don't want our help? We shall leave!" I thundered. On the way out, Nobby, his temper flaring, seized the manager and threw him literally across the gym, into the dumbell racks. "You poofters!" I yelled, and Nobby and I marched out, our feelings hurt and our honour besmirched by those bastards!
The other day, at the gym, I was dismayed to see the lack of intensity and proper form going on around me, and decided to give others the benefit of my expertise. I had just finished a set of tricep-pushdowns, and I noticed a silence in the gym, and members gaping at me. For extra weight, Nobby had climbed on the stack and, screaming, I repped out the combined weight of Nobby AND the stack- the cable suddenly snapped, and Nobby and the stack came crashing down. Just another snapped cable. Nothing to fuss about. So what were the pencil necks staring at?
I'd show them how to bloody well train, brothers!!
Nobby and I strutted about the gym, giving our encouragement and support. A tiny woman, who must have been born in the 19th century, and looked like she weighed 80 pounds, was curling simply the bar- and struggling. I quickly was on the scene, and began coaching her - "Come on, then. One more, BUSINESS AS USUAL, come THE FUCK ON, FOR FUCKS SAKES, ONE MORE, BITCH!!!" I screamed in her face, spewing a shower of fine spit particles all over her. Her face a mask of fear and anguish, she groaned and squeezed out a few more forced reps, before collapsing to the ground. "Good show! ALL-FUCKIN-RIGHT!" I screamed. Nobby nodded his approval.
Next was a fellow doing squats. Nobby and I watched, and were sickened by his lack of drive. He was squatting a mere 225- and wheezing! I stormed over after he finished his set, picked up the bar, and curled it 20 times, then dropped it in front of him. "That is nothing! YOU WILL squat more!". Nobby loaded a couple of 45's on each side of the bar, and, grabbing the weasel by the back of the neck, put him in front of it. "Squat!" I roared. The man took the bar off the rack, and,whimpering, squatted down. He was having a devil of a time getting back up. Another gym member came running over to 'help'- Nobby saw him coming, stretched out his arm, and clotheslined the man with an unheard of power, sending him into multiple back-flips before he crashed onto the gym floor. Another trouble-maker came from the other direction, ostensibly to help the fellow squatting up, and Nobby whipped out his bike chain, wrapped it round his fist, and met the man with a terrific punch to the face that lifted him up off of his feet, and he came crashing back to the ground like a sack of wet cement.
I stood over the fellow squatting. "UP UP UP!!" I screamed, and Nobby lashed the man across the back with his chain and snarled "Get on yer fookin feet!" Finally, with superhuman effort, the man managed to get up. Nobby and I racked the bar as he collapsed under it.
The manager approached us and, looking terrified, squealed "Uh...please...gentlemen...some people are getting hurt..." I was insulted. "Fine- you don't want our help? We shall leave!" I thundered. On the way out, Nobby, his temper flaring, seized the manager and threw him literally across the gym, into the dumbell racks. "You poofters!" I yelled, and Nobby and I marched out, our feelings hurt and our honour besmirched by those bastards!
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