I keep telling you, you will never make progress until you get ORGANIZED
TRY keeping some accurate meaningful records of your diet, lifting, not lifting, social life, sleep, work habits, what you do in your free time
This cluster fuck approach towards everything in your life is what is screwing with your head and jeopardizing your workouts.
I don’t think lifting for size and strength is ever going to work for you, the gym is not your friend, weights don’t like you,
Never forget this.
Consider a different forum also, maybe fly fishing at the polar caps.