My Quest to COMPETE - BEAT THE DISEASE!
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**MODS** PLEASE DON'T MOVE AS THIS HAS AS MUCH TO DO WITH AAS THAN IT DOES DIET AND TRAINING.
Well I know many of you and many have helped me out more than you can imagine. I know I’ve pissed some off, frustered the hell out of others, and some have no idea about my history, but after a zillion im’s, everything from PLEASE START A LOG, to hows my cutting diet, I’ve decided to try one last time to start a log to track my progress.
I listen fairly well, so I do love constructive critisim. If this turns into a slam fest, it will be my last time, and I’ll move on to try to accomplish this feat with the helop of a specialist. Long story short, I have or am in the process of killing a eating disorder. In college, 10 years ago, I was a stud. Honestly. Not to boast, but I was a BMOC. I was a outside linebacker (ok, div III, but still), about 245, at 6’1 and maybe 12-13% (abs visibible laying down etc)….I just ate. I trained heavy. And I partied with the best of them. I ran some dumb cycles, pct was unheard of, and made some pretty good gains. Benching 375 in my lst set for a few…squatting ATF with 3+ plates for 12…..good strength. Well, I graduated and quickly found myself behind a desk, as a CPA for 8-10+ hours a day. Coming from an athetic backround, this killed me, I started reading and reading and reading everything about diet and I was terrified now of getting fat because I sat all day. So I started eating small meals a day, doing cardio 7 days a week in the am, training 7 days a week in the pm, no gear, all I thought I needed was boatloads of protein. I then did a few triatholons, stepped on the scale a few years later and was 190. Same height, but I HAD ABS! I became een more concerned with losing them. So I apparently cut my cals even more. And more. And more and here I am. A victim of exercise nervousa, where I wouldn’t eat jack if I didn’t know or hadn’t worked out that day.
Well, to stop with the boredom I am still a CPA still sitting all day, more knowledgeable then even on diet and training, but applying them to myself is what is killing me. I had my test levels checked and they came back off the charts low. This scared me even more as the more I read the more I learned that low test = fat storage even if you are active. So, the doc put me on Androderm weened me off and it did nothing. So I decided a few weeks ago to take matters nto my own hands. I was/am depressed, sick, weak, etc. I went from375 bench to 275. Then 200, then 175 and before I knew it, 5 sets of 5 at 135 is tough!
SO, I met this trainer, nationally known, who looked at me a few weeks ago and said “You could compete at the local level buddy, but right now, you are in a state that I’ve never witnessed before” BUT I HAVE ABS! Yes he said, and so do ethopians. You are 6’1, you should be 180lbs just to be normal. I weighed in today at 162lbs and refuse to have my bf tested as I know it’s low, very low. So low that my hands and feet turn numb, my back aches. My stomach aches, etc.
So he said would you give me a shot. Sure I said, but what the hell does he want with me? Anyways, it’s now his project. To get me on stage, to beat this disorder and to turn me back into the guy I once was. So here we go. I’ll post the diet he wants me to follow to a tee. It’s been one full week and I am struggling mentally and physically. I am eating cals in an ungodly amount, for me anyeays. Prob.4x as much as I was, but I am not permitted to count the macros. I will post my daily routine, feelings, etc and would love to hear from you guys to keep me on track. Ill ask questions to help get me over the hump, to fight through it, but losing the ABS, getting blurred out in the definition area is so depressing, esp. when I still do cardio, so that’s why I need you guys: Day #1 starts semi today, and all out tomorrow (Today is my scheduled off day!)
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