SBT, Treil, Roony, IP... HIIIIIIII!!!!! I Missed you all soooooo much!!!!!
Ive been doing ok. I hope everything has been good far all of you! Im trying to read up on all of your logs
Lately, Ive been feeling sort of like a prisoner in my own body. I donno what the deal is. I guess Im still recovering from that competition. I understand how people who do a show, drop a lot of weight and all that... can have problems after. I lost a TON of fat really quickly and Im sure I gained some back. Im too scared to get on a scale (but thats a whole other issue). I want PROGRESSSSS fast I guess and MH is convincing me that slower is better. Maybe I just dont see change since I look in the mirror first thing when I wake up EVERY DAYYYY!!!My diet is clean with the occasional cheat day 1x week. That was the plan... not to worry too much and eat fruit and dairy. Ya know... stear away from the competition diet. BUT now I feel like my body isnt really progressing. I donno what the deal is. Everyone says I look good but I dont care what people say. In my head, Im a giant fat ass! I know, its bad to say, but Im debating whether I should make the diet even cleaner. The issue with that is that I dont know if its a good idea since I dont wanna crash AND I will do another show in April SO then what?.
I feel like such a dork. SOrry for the BIATCHINNGGG above I just need to vent. Maybe my mood has to do with the fact that my monthly friend is coming to visit in a few days... But this has been floating around in my head for a while now.
Am I alone in all this??? Do any of you feel this way? If yes, any words of advice to get me out of this state of mind would GREATLY be appreciated. In the end, Im sure all this is just up to me to resolve. Growing up, I was ALWAYS overweight. I got put on a diet in 3rd grade.... called nasty names growing up... fat in high school, eating disorders followed... then I met an amwesome guy who made me feel good about my self. I gained weight... then did the show.... lost a TON but feel it was in an unhealthy way... and now Im trying to find some sort of balance.
This road Im on is tougher than I though.
And yes, my big booty is still BIGGGGGG