There was a line in the movie Dogma (actually, there were several good lines in that movie), but this line sums up Heal:
"You don't celebrate your religion, you mourn it."
Be that as it may, Heal, you're a Christian, why are you asking us? Ask Christ.
See, here's how it works when you're a pagan, you have a problem. You don't know what to do about it. You try all the usual methods to find an answer (scrying, tarot, runes, astrology), nada. You MEDITATE on the issue, journal your thoughts. Before you fall asleep you ask your patron gods/goddesses for help or whatever deity works for you. Bam, usually within a week you get your answer. You either dream it or it comes to you in a moment of clarity. Whether it's the gods or your higher self coming through (because you've finally shut up) it doesn't matter.
Meditate on it, journal your thoughts, that is the ONLY true answer, you silly ass.
At best, you're only gonna get more conflicted by asking the horny fuckers on this board for their degenerated opinions because really about one quarter are saying do the world a favor and kill yourself right now; one quarter think you should just go become a priest and resolve all these guilt bullshit issues; the rest are split between thinking you should just stop wasting time, get liquored up, and go fuck anything that will spread for 20 seconds (even if you have to pay for it), or just be honest with yourself and embrace your latent homosexuality
You either be celibate and it is your life (like working out or eating right) or it's not. You are being a hypocrite in this state though. Because Christ said, "I tell you that anyone who looks on a woman with lust has in his heart already committed adultery."
You're letting the big man down every time you ogle a pair of tits, seriously. You're making Christ cry.