I'm feeling down right now folks, due to the girl

[jackangel]

the pain, depression, confusion, and regret you are feeling are not only perfectly normal, but good. i want you to feel them. especially regret.

these notions of innocence and purity, and of being special because you're desperately trying to hold onto them...are illusory. we are all under the sway of illusions, even if we recognize them as such. that would be fine, if not for the nature of illusions -- they tend to shatter.

i'm not saying that physical intimacy shouldn't be regarded as special or sacred, or that it shouldn't be saved for someone that you care about. but if you've lost your virginity, you haven't really lost anything of import. this is flawed thinking. after having done something you regret, you are capable of reflecting and changing your behaviour in the future. you can still be true to yourself, if you know yourself. if you don't, you can venture forth with your present balance of understanding and desire and do the best you can. you can make mistakes.

you haven't lost perfection or fallen from grace. you haven't lost a source of strength. rather, you have gained in strength because you have (hopefully) learned more about yourself and burned away a small fragment of falsehood or untruth.

even if you don't recognize it now, and run in circles of fruitless mentation, you will see more of it in time...as you do more. the key is to keep doing.

i'd like for you to rent a movie called The Big Kahuna, and pay close attention to it. once you have, i'd also like to know what you think of it.

 

[heavy_duty]

yah

16 can sleep with 16
but 16 can NOT sleep with 22

he's fucking himself.

 

[jd_uk]

Havent been on EF as much, because the last few days I've been feeling down, because of the girl on facebook that I met in person. As some of you know, she's 18 and in highschool, im 22, and we fooled around, she touched my penis, but wouldnt let me kiss her or go in her pants. At first I was just upset about that part.

But later I started thinking about her more, and realized that I may not get to see her again, as she is thinking about asking this one guy out pretty soon, and I was just a fool around buddy. I know men arent supposed to have emotions or feel down about this stuff, but it happened to me. Seriously, like I cant get her off my mind, and I dont understand why, I think the only reason I'm attracted to her is because she grabbed my dick, we have nothing else in common really.

I dont know if I feel bad that I might not just get to kiss her, or if I feel bad because I like her but wont get to have her.

In either case, I regret what I did the other night, cuz its been on my mind and I've felt depressed about it the last few days. And now I'm no longer innocent or the virgin I used to be. I wasted it away, on a woman I wasnt even in a relationship with. I wonder if maybe sexual acts are special and should be saved for people who care for you, or else you get burned.

This girl doesnt want a relationship with me, and told me i didnt get hard enough the other day when she tried to give me a handjob the other day.
How is that supposed to make a man feel?

Anyways, I still may have a chance to kiss her and do more with her, as she said she'd be up for it when she has time if she doesnt hit it off with the guy at the dance she's going to on friday.

I'm confused. I wonder if I even should see her again, even if given another opportunity. I dont know if it would make me feel better or worse. And I only have limited time as the window of opportunity is closing very fast. I better hope she doesnt hit it off with the guy at the dance this friday, so maybe saturday we can hang out again. And both our parents will be around this weekend so it cant happen at either of our houses for 2 weeks.

SO basically, whateveryone told you would happen actually did happen? ..and the reason...because you acted like you did. If you don't want to feel like this anymore then have the balls to change. Some other guy will soon be doing the stuff with her that you want to be doing and you could've stopped that. You will learn but you've got to push yourself.

 

[jd_uk]

I believe sex in a real relationship sounds way better. That kind of relationship takes a long time to build though, and requires so many things to go right that I'm not sure if it could ever happen for me

Exactly...a good relationship usually does take a long time to build. So go and learn and fuck up sexually with someone you don't REALLY care about too much. Once you meet someone you REALLY like you won't want to still be unable to please her. It's up to you but i think you gain some confidence with women and only you can do that. You can't expect some girl to do it for you. Take control.

 

[Subzeero]

Interesting because in my state it says 16 for females but there were still guys in prison for it - sleeping with their 16 year old gf's. Are you sure 16 isn't the age where you can have sex with other people underage?

i think you are right. You have to be 16 to legally have sex in some places, but they are protected from peeps over 18 or 21 years of age. They can have sex with anyone between 16-18 legally and with their own consent.

thats how i understand it.

 

[Turd Ferguson]

This thread can't be real. I am clicking my heels together and saying "there is no place like home" "there is no place like home"

 

[musclemom]

Heal, take it as I'm saying it:

Either be a virgin, take it seriously, keep your hands out of ANY girls pants and wait until you get married to have virgin sex. When you date girls you let them know up front you've chosen chastity.

OR

Get thee laid and stop stressing over it (you'll certainly be much happier).

I assure you, the creator of the universe is not hung up on where you stick your penis.

You claim you want to be chaste, but chastity encompasses more than just physical actions. What you're being now is unhappy, confused and even a little hypocritical.

Oh, some girl touching your pee-pee in a makeout session doesn't qualify as losing your virginity so let that one go, okay?

 

[the-short-one]

I dont know why, but I just figured that if I hurried up and got physical with chicks, maybe it'd motivate me to find a relationship with a girl. If I had sex with someone and this happened, I'd feel even worse, especially if I really liked the girl.

Its weird, this girl only gave me a handjob, and I already am becoming somewhat attached to her, even though we have nothing in common, wtf.

there's your problem. You're gay.

 

[heavy_duty]

In Canada any man any age can have sex with a 14 year old. That is our age of consent.

 

[-SD-]

thanks for the post dave, you put a lot of thought in your words and i read them and considered them carefully.

are you sure i could completely get the puppy love out of my system, and get to a point where i dont feel guilty about sex, just by making myself have it a bunch? You know I'm a Christian, and have had other Christians throw their beliefs about premarital sex at me and it has brainwashed me somewhat. Do you know any serious Christians who have just said "to hell with being sacred about sex" and just started having it, and were cool with themselves doing that? (And also still remained a serious Christian)

Ive forgotten more devout Christians whove had premarital sex than youve ever known. Its not even part of the criteria for Christians anymore. My parents are the most devout Catholics I know (my mom just went to a prolife march at the state capitol for Christ sake) and she makes light of my sexual activity, has all my adult life. Just the other day she asked me what I did and I told her I helped my girlfriend get a new bed since shes been sleeping on the futon all this time and my own devout Catholic mother said "I guess I know what you will be doing tonight then!". The irony is SHE caught ME by surprise by that joke.

I just dont want to start going out having tons of sex to try to change myself to be more casual about it, but just dig a really huge hole filled with regret later. Honestly I'd love to be free of the emotional bondage tied with sex, but can humans be? Many women for example are constantly having sex with strangers and regretting it the next day.

You arent a damn woman, so stop thinking like one. If you read my post you will see that I said you would feel emptiness and such, but that is temporary and the benefits gained far outweigh that. Just like gambino said, all of us tough guys felt like that at one point in time. But I can tell you this, if I was starting from zero experience with women again at my age (32) or even your age, it makes life much more difficult with the opposite sex. NO man has EVER regretted losing his virginity, that I can promise you. Remember the 3rd Indiana Jones movie where he is faced with that large dropoff and he cant get across, but he remembers he has to take the "leap of faith" and he steps out and magically lands on the invisible bridge he couldnt see from his perspective, until the camera moved down and you could make out the camoflauged bridge? You know the rest.

So now you see why I'm scared of taking on such a risky endeavor. Plus then even if I succeed, I'll be the ultimate hyppocrate, who is a Christian and used to say "i have morals, and sex is sacred, and i value it" and then to turn around and be doing it all the time casually? some people on here were already upset that i let a girl touch my dick since it seemed hyppocritical to what I used to say.

You wont be a hypocrite because you will learn that God is ok with people having sex. What will make you a hypocrite is if you keep preaching about how sex is wrong. Here on earth we are allowed to change our minds about things, you know.

Some women appreciate men that are innocent. I think some women do have principles about sex too. But women with experience want a man with experience. and ALL women want a man who takes charge. I've learned that.

Women view innocent as unmanly and the ultimate strike against a guy, in a womans eye, is appearing unmanly. Once again dont listen to the words coming out of womens mouths, look at their actions and I will guarantee you wont see attractive women getting going out with sweet innocent guys who are saving themselves for the wedding night.

The part about how if a man sows his wild oats making him less likely to be tempted later on, is something ive heard from a lot of people. Because he got it all out of his system he doesnt need to do it later when he's married. But consider the opposite argument, what if he's so accustomed to getting hot new types of ass everyday that she just doesnt want to settle down even after he's married, and he misses the old days.

If a man gets his fair share of ass while he is young and single and free, and this happens a sufficient amount of times throughout adulthood, then he starts to realize that no matter how many different women he has sex with, theres only so much a woman can offer in bed, or that the sex can only get so good with any given woman. Some women are better than others but you realize that there is much more to a relationship than simply awesome sex. Sex still remains important but it is not the be-all end-all of what a man views as important in a relationship anymore. It is at this point that the man realizes that some women, while awesome in bed, are psychos, or stupid, or have bad lifestyles that wont work. If this situation occurs, the experienced man will leave the woman in spite of her being awesome in bed. Now, this isnt easy to do for any man, much less a man whose had sex with every kind of woman. For someone like you, once you get a taste of awesome sex, you wont be able to see any of her faults, even if everyone around you is telling you to leave her, simply because you are inexperienced in sex and youve never had it so good and dont know when it will happen again, so you hang on to the bitter end.
Meanwhile, an experienced man will know that sure, the sex is awesome, but hes had it before plenty and he will have it again in the future. So the focus starts to swing to different aspects of relationships like compatibility, long term goals, similar lifestyles, and yes, even love. You are able to make more rational, reasonable decisions concerning women when you are experienced with them and accustomed to their ways, both sexually and emotionally.

You cant see how this all comes around full circle yet but you will. Just remember that a man whose had his share of ass and relationships will appreciate the really good women that he encounters in life, because with all the awesome sex and sweet women hes had he also has endured psychos, idiots, sluts, that have caused much heartache. You will experience all of this to some degree at some point, but you must experience in order to learn more about life and learn more about yourself. And thats why you wont stray and constantly want more "action" outside of your marriage. Just wait till 30 to get married that should cover it.