I'm feeling down right now folks, due to the girl

[healother]

Well folks I think I'm feeling a little better today, which is good. I started messaging a lot more girls online, and hopefully will be able to meet some nice attractive women.

OMG here we go again. SHE'S IN HIGHSCHOOL? She's not 18 DUMBASS! I don't care what the fuck she told you. You're fucking lucky is what you are. Just forget about her and be lucky her pops hasn't got you thrown in jail by now. She sounds dumb enough to get you in trouble if something were to actually happen. Trust me bro, I've been to prison. If you're in there for stat rape, it doesn't matter how cool you were on the outs, you're gonna get tortured every day of your life. I punked a few of those mo's myself. Grow up you dumbass! This is tough love right here.

age of consent in my state is 16 anyway, i know she's a senior, so she couldnt be younger than 16, unless she were at least 2 grades ahead.

Wait, didn't you say you lived with your dad or something? You make plenty enough to be out on your own. Plus you're what 22? 23? Something is starting to seem fishy.

i want to live in a single BR apartment in my city, which costs around $700-800 per month.

I maybe about 17 an hour, but I'm a contractor, meaning i get no benefits, and I have to pay 7.65% extra of my income in taxes because I have to pay for all my FICA.

I dont work all the time, because I'm doing short stints and looking for jobs in between.

I need a serious long term job, that pays decent and has benefits, if i want to move out.

You've not been innocent for a long time. Your dick is involved in a sexual act everytime you go to sleep and dream of banging anything that walks in a skirt.
She's a tease. She doesn't care about you.
MOve on to a girl that will teach you about love, not this crush stuff.

I volunatarily let a woman touch my dick, it feels different

I'm wondering if I would feel better about it if I could at least kiss her once. Or if I could get her naked or go down her pants. Then at least I could have had my way with her too.

But yeah, youre right in that she doesnt care about me, and doesnt want to teach me how to kiss or anything. but i want it so bad from her, lol. she is so hot.

dude, don't tell me i didn't tell you so.

wow... if a chick had done that to me, i wouldn't be sitting around moping about it... i'd move on.

a few years ago, my sis introduced me to this chick... so we went to a nightclub and we were dancing... my sis and her boyfriend, there were a few other couples in our group. the afore mentioned chick and me were the only 2 who were not seeing each other but were paired off nonetheless. then i suggested that we sit down for a few mins and have a drink. and she says she didn't want to... not rudely but just says it... so i got pissed off and said "ok, you wanna dance, then dance alone" and i stormed off leaving her standing alone. now can you imagine what would have happened if your facebook chick had tried her GAMES on me? i'm not saying that you have to be all macho and not have feelings but THIS girl is not worth crying over... she's playing games with you and your feelings and then she insults your manhood to rub salt into your wounds.

PS: i know i was being an asshole with my sis' friend....

Yeah, I wish I had just been assertive and not let her do anyting to me, I should have been like "there is no way you are touching my dick unless you kiss me first". But i didnt So I'm just trying to figure out how to rememdy this now. Either get what I want from her (kisses, nudity, going down her pants, etc) or just forget it about and leave.

Cut your ties and be done. She isn't girl for you. There is another out there bor.

agreed, I thought now would be a good time to get some physical experience with women though. I mean i know she isnt relationship material. Its a tough call.

heal, every tuff guy-juicer-meathead in this thread knows the pain you are going thru.
they will front, and tell tales of how many girls they fucked over etc, but deep down we all know that pain...the difference between you and us is that we experienced this at a much younger age and have grown accustomed to it.
i used to sweat girls big time, i'd let small things fuck with me.
then, after getting fucked over a few times, i learned quick how to play the game and protect myself from dumbass hooors. for instance, this gal is bitching at you for going limp? bro, it's her duty to make your lil' guy stiff...if he is soft, maing that's her fault.
i don't see how she can throw that on you.
what i don't want to see here is you using this dismal (though a great learning op) as an excuse to embrace more of your ideological christianity. wimmien are not evil, touching a females body is not a sin, that guilt you feel is not guilt about not living a godly existence, it's not even guilt at all.
it's called emotions.
don't confuse the two

yeah, i figured most men have a hard shell that has been built up over time. I'm wondering though if its still worth building up that thick skin just to fuck some more random girls though. Never should a man stop giving up on relationships with women, but wanting a relationship and just wanting someone to fuck, are 2 different things.

This chick was giving me a lousy handjob, squeezing way too hard, etc. So of course its not my fault. (although I probably shoulda done this stuff with her sooner, because after being hard for 3 hours its not the same as being hard when you first lay next to her) But anyways, had she known what she was doing she could have still gotten me off, I hadnt jerked it in 2 days, so I should have been able to bust that all over her if she had some skill.

I dont think what I experienced is going to have any effect on my belief system. Sex is something that is fun and there are natural consequences (some negative) that effect everyone, Christians and non-Christians, and I'll learn those as I go along. Sex is overall a good thing and should be enjoyed, with a few precautions put into place.

The guilt I feel isnt so much about religion but rather that I just that I should have been smarter and remained in better control of the situation, that way my first time would have been better. But its too late for that now, so I'm just going to focus on the future. And of course emotions play a role as well, cuz its easy to be hard on yourself sometimes, when you're feeling down.

the pain, depression, confusion, and regret you are feeling are not only perfectly normal, but good. i want you to feel them. especially regret.

these notions of innocence and purity, and of being special because you're desperately trying to hold onto them...are illusory. we are all under the sway of illusions, even if we recognize them as such. that would be fine, if not for the nature of illusions -- they tend to shatter.

i'm not saying that physical intimacy shouldn't be regarded as special or sacred, or that it shouldn't be saved for someone that you care about. but if you've lost your virginity, you haven't really lost anything of import. this is flawed thinking. after having done something you regret, you are capable of reflecting and changing your behaviour in the future. you can still be true to yourself, if you know yourself. if you don't, you can venture forth with your present balance of understanding and desire and do the best you can. you can make mistakes.

you haven't lost perfection or fallen from grace. you haven't lost a source of strength. rather, you have gained in strength because you have (hopefully) learned more about yourself and burned away a small fragment of falsehood or untruth.

even if you don't recognize it now, and run in circles of fruitless mentation, you will see more of it in time...as you do more. the key is to keep doing.

i'd like for you to rent a movie called The Big Kahuna, and pay close attention to it. once you have, i'd also like to know what you think of it.

I think Christianity does place a lot of unfair pressure on virginity, which isnt cool because when people in the church have premarital sex then they might feel bad later. It can't be as big of a deal as some make it out to be, because even people who lose it and are Christian still manage to do just fine with life, and some are even happy they lost it.

Experiences are pretty darn important for learning, and sometimes its the only way I learn.

I will consider renting that move this weekend maybe, im just pretty busy this week with work and all.

SO basically, whateveryone told you would happen actually did happen? ..and the reason...because you acted like you did. If you don't want to feel like this anymore then have the balls to change. Some other guy will soon be doing the stuff with her that you want to be doing and you could've stopped that. You will learn but you've got to push yourself.

I dont know if I could have stopped any desire from her to bang some highschool guy. She said before she didnt want a relationship with me, and I think thats what she thought from the start, so she was free to do what she wanted. Either that or maybe she did want more but i blew it, but in other case, like others are saying, she isnt the best girl to have a relationship with. its not a big loss.

i think you are right. You have to be 16 to legally have sex in some places, but they are protected from peeps over 18 or 21 years of age. They can have sex with anyone between 16-18 legally and with their own consent.

thats how i understand it.

Ive read over the statuatory rape laws for MN and I'm pretty sure that 16 is the cut off.
I guess the only way to completely verify would be to talk with a lawyer. Maybe I could speak with a free one sometime, if I get a chance to get in for an appointment.

Heal, take it as I'm saying it:

Either be a virgin, take it seriously, keep your hands out of ANY girls pants and wait until you get married to have virgin sex. When you date girls you let them know up front you've chosen chastity.

OR

Get thee laid and stop stressing over it (you'll certainly be much happier).

I assure you, the creator of the universe is not hung up on where you stick your penis.

You claim you want to be chaste, but chastity encompasses more than just physical actions. What you're being now is unhappy, confused and even a little hypocritical.


Oh, some girl touching your pee-pee in a makeout session doesn't qualify as losing your virginity so let that one go, okay?

true, chastity is more than physical actions. i think because the church puts so much emphasis on the actions though, it warps the brains of some christians.

I think I'll be happier if I do some sexual stuff before marriage, I just have to be careful about how that happens and how it all goes down. Or maybe I just need to do it a lot so that I can get used to it and cant be hurt by it, lol.

Even worse than having your first experience with a sex worker, at least a hooker would have got you off and been honest about the whole thing.

after she lets lil Johnny weasle-dick do whatever he wants to her this weekend (and he'll be having a fine old time getting all those goodies she wouldn't give up to you) she'll be feeling a little degraded and need to take it out on someone lower down the food chain than her... she'll need someone to treat like shit to boost her fucked up self esteem.

Don't be that guy. I'd say you're worth more than that but that wouldn't really be true right now, but if you ignore her then you'll be making the first step in the right direction

I'm very glad that i did this with this girl instead of a hooker. a hooker would have made me feel much worse, lol. how pathetic is that, hahaha. at least this girl wanted to do things with me and wasnt just doing it for money.

if she wants to treat me like shit i wont allow it. honestly i just want to make out with her a few times, fool around more with her, do it my way, and then not see her again cuz I'm sure I could find a better girl to spend my time around.

don't worry, he'll read it. he'll respond. he'll appreciate it. he'll seem to understand and take it to heart. and then he'll continue the cycle.

btw, the term padawan implies that he's training to become a jedi, right? might want to reconsider that label.

yep, i did read it and im going to respond, just havent had time to yet. but thats going to be my next large post.

 

[Lestat]

fuck man, I had to come out of retirement to help a good bro in need.

This is a big problem with staying so inexperienced about women, sex, love, relationships, feelings, etc. for so damn long.

You should be STOKED at what happened! A hottie 18 year old played with your cock! That was it man. Maybe you'd get to do more, but maybe not, but you went to have some fun and you had some fun. Why feel so down?

You are going to (hopefully) meet many women you are attracted to. Very few of these women will ever show interest in you, and even few than that will you date. Hopefully one day you will end up marrying one of them.

There is nothing wrong with going out and exploring now. Experience life, soak it all up, take this time and LEARN from it! Learn about yourself, about others, about relationships. This will only help you down the road when you find yourself in a serious relationship with a lot more at stake than your feelings and fragile ego.

Some people get through all this really early, in their teens, and are ready for real relationships in their 20s. But there are many people, myself included, that don't really start experiencing this until college or later and aren't really ready for anything too serious until their mid to late twenties, some guys its even longer.

You have testosterone in your body, you are designed to find women attractive. They are designed to get you all flustered over them. You will want to do all kinds of things with them. Whether or not you do is your call, but keep in mind this is all normal and natural behavior that needs to be expressed in some way. Your body is producing fluids that will affect your behavior, and even more fluids that my physically be released from your body periodically no if ands or buts.

Take this experience and learn from it. She's 18 bro, she doesn't want a boyfriend, she wants to experiment, find a guy that makes her feel different than others, and she'll break his heart or he'll break hers, its inevitable. You had the right idea heading into this, when you almost met her at 4am one morning. Just go, have fun, if its not fun, leave and don't do it again. But do me a favor and try to have fun bro. This your life you are living here.

 

[healother]

Ive forgotten more devout Christians whove had premarital sex than youve ever known. Its not even part of the criteria for Christians anymore. My parents are the most devout Catholics I know (my mom just went to a prolife march at the state capitol for Christ sake) and she makes light of my sexual activity, has all my adult life. Just the other day she asked me what I did and I told her I helped my girlfriend get a new bed since shes been sleeping on the futon all this time and my own devout Catholic mother said "I guess I know what you will be doing tonight then!". The irony is SHE caught ME by surprise by that joke.

Yeah I know lots of Christians have sex freely. But think about the ones who've had those negative thoughts about premarital sex ingrained into their heads since they were young, by their elders. Many of them have probably thought in a strict way about sex before, and thats a tough thing to change. It will be harder for some people to reprogram their brains and morals about sex than others.

You arent a damn woman, so stop thinking like one. If you read my post you will see that I said you would feel emptiness and such, but that is temporary and the benefits gained far outweigh that. Just like gambino said, all of us tough guys felt like that at one point in time. But I can tell you this, if I was starting from zero experience with women again at my age (32) or even your age, it makes life much more difficult with the opposite sex. NO man has EVER regretted losing his virginity, that I can promise you. Remember the 3rd Indiana Jones movie where he is faced with that large dropoff and he cant get across, but he remembers he has to take the "leap of faith" and he steps out and magically lands on the invisible bridge he couldnt see from his perspective, until the camera moved down and you could make out the camoflauged bridge? You know the rest.

so are you saying that the emptiness feeling will completely disappear at one point and I'd be able to have sex freely and not be attached to someone afterwards? That would be nice I think. As long as sex was still special with a woman you love too.

I know a couple men that regret losing their virginity actually. But they are both Christians (surprise), and I'm not sure if they have had much sex since losing their virginity.

You wont be a hypocrite because you will learn that God is ok with people having sex. What will make you a hypocrite is if you keep preaching about how sex is wrong. Here on earth we are allowed to change our minds about things, you know.

yeah, i guess i cant had what i believe, and if my mind changes, other people will see that, and just cuz they see it, it doesnt make me a hypocrite.

Women view innocent as unmanly and the ultimate strike against a guy, in a womans eye, is appearing unmanly. Once again dont listen to the words coming out of womens mouths, look at their actions and I will guarantee you wont see attractive women getting going out with sweet innocent guys who are saving themselves for the wedding night.

hmm, what about the women who are virgins too, and by choice?

If a man gets his fair share of ass while he is young and single and free, and this happens a sufficient amount of times throughout adulthood, then he starts to realize that no matter how many different women he has sex with, theres only so much a woman can offer in bed, or that the sex can only get so good with any given woman. Some women are better than others but you realize that there is much more to a relationship than simply awesome sex. Sex still remains important but it is not the be-all end-all of what a man views as important in a relationship anymore. It is at this point that the man realizes that some women, while awesome in bed, are psychos, or stupid, or have bad lifestyles that wont work. If this situation occurs, the experienced man will leave the woman in spite of her being awesome in bed. Now, this isnt easy to do for any man, much less a man whose had sex with every kind of woman. For someone like you, once you get a taste of awesome sex, you wont be able to see any of her faults, even if everyone around you is telling you to leave her, simply because you are inexperienced in sex and youve never had it so good and dont know when it will happen again, so you hang on to the bitter end.
Meanwhile, an experienced man will know that sure, the sex is awesome, but hes had it before plenty and he will have it again in the future. So the focus starts to swing to different aspects of relationships like compatibility, long term goals, similar lifestyles, and yes, even love. You are able to make more rational, reasonable decisions concerning women when you are experienced with them and accustomed to their ways, both sexually and emotionally.

You cant see how this all comes around full circle yet but you will. Just remember that a man whose had his share of ass and relationships will appreciate the really good women that he encounters in life, because with all the awesome sex and sweet women hes had he also has endured psychos, idiots, sluts, that have caused much heartache. You will experience all of this to some degree at some point, but you must experience in order to learn more about life and learn more about yourself. And thats why you wont stray and constantly want more "action" outside of your marriage. Just wait till 30 to get married that should cover it.

interesting, i hadnt thought about it from that angle before. have sex so much that you realize sex isnt everything

alright, i have to go to bed otherwise I would type more, but thanks for your post.

 

[Lestat]

I agree with superdave 100%, he's dead on here foxygel.

 

[silver_shadow]

Yeah, I wish I had just been assertive and not let her do anyting to me, I should have been like "there is no way you are touching my dick unless you kiss me first". But i didnt So I'm just trying to figure out how to rememdy this now. Either get what I want from her (kisses, nudity, going down her pants, etc) or just forget it about and leave.

so you let her do stuff to you... it's not the end of the world. just go back to page 5 (i think?) and read what tweakle posted. that is how you will have to retrieve the situation. both for the sake of your own self respect and also so you let her know that you aren't going to take shit in future... if that means telling her to fuck off, then so be it. this girl has done nothing but willingly and shamelessly taken advantage of what she calls your "innocence" and deserves to be banged by skinny fat highschool kids.

you have 2 choices really (unless you want her to mess around with you some more):
1) either you be assertive and bang the shit out of her.
OR
2) tell her to get lost. i can understand that being 22 and not having had a relationship before causes you to see things differently, but be careful, it is your christian upbringing which makes you vulnerable to such bitches.



PS: heavy duty - that chick in your avi is HAWT.

 

[Tweakle]

nice, you want to be kissed by a mouth that had someone else's cock in it the night before?

you're like the little puppy she has over to play with when she can't get what she wants, and ends up neglecting and abusing when she feels down on herself for having no self esteem. But I think you know that already.

On the plus side, plenty of girls are like that to varying degrees so at least you learned something about feeding off the bottom. Don't become the guy who goes after damaged girls in the hope of getting laid, or you'll be hanging out at homeless shelters before you know it or end up having a single mom suck you dry while she fucks her ex on the side.

No more posts about facebook ho-ing please.. cant you hook up with an FDS fresh little virgin type at your parents church?

 

[silver_shadow]

I'm very glad that i did this with this girl instead of a hooker. a hooker would have made me feel much worse, lol. how pathetic is that, hahaha. at least this girl wanted to do things with me and wasnt just doing it for money.

sorry but this made me laugh... there are hookers who would have given you more love than this kid did. and many are more upfront about the reasons why they do it - sometimes it isn't about being immoral... there are girls who do what this chick is doing to you and worse (she may still do it if given a chance) but no they never sell their bodies. big deal, they are still worse than single mother hookers who need to put their children through school.

 

[samoth]

I'm very glad that i did this with this girl instead of a hooker. a hooker would have made me feel much worse, lol. how pathetic is that, hahaha. at least this girl wanted to do things with me and wasnt just doing it for money.

What the

Dude, what's wrong with you?

There's nothing wrong with being a virgin... there is something wrong with paying a hooker for sex (well, in my opinion, anyway).

 

[jackangel]

again, everyone, stop putting the words 'hot' or 'hottie' anywhere near a reference to this girl. she's fucking blech. please start seeing her as unattractive, healother. do it. do it.

 

[jd_uk]

I dont know if I could have stopped any desire from her to bang some highschool guy. She said before she didnt want a relationship with me, and I think thats what she thought from the start, so she was free to do what she wanted. Either that or maybe she did want more but i blew it, but in other case, like others are saying, she isnt the best girl to have a relationship with. its not a big loss.

Honestly i've never been so frustrated by anyone's posts. Buddy, stop being such a bloody wimp. I know what i and everyone else says sounds harsh but you've got to change. You're not happy now and you'll get walked all over if you carry this on. Seriously if i knew you well enough i'd punch you for your own good just to see if there is ANY aggression or confidence inside of you.

Re the high school guy, if you had fucked her well enough then i'm samn sure she wouldn't be thinking about him.

...and please go and slap yourself for making such a long and pathetic post.

This has been going on for too long now.