i need diet help, motivation , training,,,,been out for a while ..please help

[powerstroke209]

Long story short....i havent honestly trained hard or dieted well like i used too in about a year...(got married and had a baby)

- i used to be about 10% bf, now i dont even know.. im starting to get a gut, NO defintion, no vascularity

-used to rep 315...strugle to rep 225

-used to have strict diet, now i eat out all the time and eat like crap

-used to hard core train twice a day...now i work all the time


ITS so hard to get motivated because i look in a mirror or try and lift and i get so mad at myself and think about what i used to do then i walk away

-SO , I NEED HELP/ADVICE

I currently live in an apartment and i dont have any gym membership

GYM: can i buy some weights and do some excercises in my apartment to cut up a little or should i just buy a membership

Diet: I need a filling, cutting diet , i can eat with my wife ( for dinner only)n should i eat small every 2 hours

Motivation...i need a boost


Sorry for the long post ( need advice sorry to sound like a P*SSY ,

Oh and ive take ph's and gear before but im not gonna touch any untill i get fit again ( i got a hidden stash of supps)

THANKZ