Can cheating once make your marriage better?

[danaf1]

Wow... all of you place entirely too much importance on sex. I am not condoning cheating, but people, it is just sex. Not many of you can say you have never had casual sex. Those who are married, can you really say you were never tempted to have sex with anyone besides your spouse? Ever had a fantasy about someone else you saw on tv or in a movie? How about imagined you were having sex with someone else when you were having sex with your spouse? How about you Austin316? Oh, but it was only in your mind right? So you just WANTED to do it but did not so it is ok?

The importance people in American culture place on sex is rather amusing.

You summed it up perfect, bro.

 

[danaf1]

I think cheating can destroy most marriages because of how most people view a marriage and religous beliefs. My wife ,fourtunately, is bi-sexual and has no problem bringing other women into the bedroom. We both understand that love and sex are not the same thing and if I'm with another girl it doesn't mean I love that girl, it's just sex. Of course she isn't cool with me sleeping with other women when she isn't around but as long as she is in the mix she loves. Just two nights ago we had friends of ours over who are married to babysit for us while we went out. When we came back my wife spoke to our guy friend ,knowing his wife was bi also, and asked if she could have sex with his wife while we watched. He was all for it and I got a hell of a show, they even let us "direct" them . Not as good as being in the mix but you can't complain. Just little stuff like that makes being married better. If I could never be with another woman I don't think I could stay married. But some people are fine with monogomy and if it makes you happy, more power to you.

 

[Deleted member 33117]

I think cheating can destroy most marriages because of how most people view a marriage and religous beliefs. My wife ,fourtunately, is bi-sexual and has no problem bringing other women into the bedroom. We both understand that love and sex are not the same thing and if I'm with another girl it doesn't mean I love that girl, it's just sex. Of course she isn't cool with me sleeping with other women when she isn't around but as long as she is in the mix she loves. Just two nights ago we had friends of ours over who are married to babysit for us while we went out. When we came back my wife spoke to our guy friend ,knowing his wife was bi also, and asked if she could have sex with his wife while we watched. He was all for it and I got a hell of a show, they even let us "direct" them . Not as good as being in the mix but you can't complain. Just little stuff like that makes being married better. If I could never be with another woman I don't think I could stay married. But some people are fine with monogomy and if it makes you happy, more power to you.

Basically the same situation I am in.

We have this huge cultural hangup about love and sex being the same thing, but most people in this country have had sex with someone they did not love at least once.

 

[danaf1]

what the person that started the thread is doing is covering up other issues he has and masking it with a new worse one. i would say it would definately not make YOUR marriage better, as you can't seem to make it work now without that added burden

as for everyone else, people's inability to consider and weigh the oppositions point of view brings out strong feelings, like violence and name calling, which usually points out those who are too close minded to carry on a normal conversational debate. relax a bit people and realize there are many different folks out there with lifestyles very dissimilar from your own. you do not have a right to judge them as a person based on their actions, i.e. swining, when they do not cause physical or mental harm to anyone. they have a right to their choices in life, just as you have your right not to cheat or swing. i do not condone what bbf and his wife do or have yet to do, but i would never condemn it either

Well said, Devastation. Everyone has a right to do what they believe and others who disagree should simply say so rather than ranting about what scumbags they think others are for making personal choices that doesn't affect anyone on these boards anyway.

 

[Deleted member 33117]

Hmmmmm.....this thread died down.

 

[~Lexy~]

No it will not make it better, all trust will be lost and there is no point of marriage.

.........

 

[danaf1]

Basically the same situation I am in.

We have this huge cultural hangup about love and sex being the same thing, but most people in this country have had sex with someone they did not love at least once.

You are exactly right, BBF. The same people that that think believe sex and love are the same thing are the same people that go(or at least went when they were single) to clubs on a Saturday night trying to get laid. I think it is safe to assume they certainly did not love all the people they went home with.

 

[thelion2005]

Well if she finds out...your marriage will be over....is it worth that?

Amen. And it is never worth it.

 

[Ulcasterdropout]

Do it...

 

[Childish///AMG]

An "Older" woman that I once worked with told me that she cheated on her husband from time
to time and it made her marriage better.

Later I had a G/F who sent a dozen roses to me at the hospital I worked at.
An "Older" woman asked me what me me so special or what did I do to warrant the flowers. I said "nothing" she said that it had to be something annd even though she was married she wanted me to sleep with her.

I kindly declined. For me, there are are only 3 kinds of sex; bad, good, and indifferent. I would never cheat on mi-espousa. I would divorce her first. Because once trust is gone, you have nothing else.