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T
The Shadow
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1. "I can raise any woman's Interest Level [degree of love] in me by complimenting her."
Yes, this thinking has a certain (false) logic to it. Complimenting women sure seems to work in the movies and on television. A handsome lawyer tells Ally McBeal how smart and beautiful she is, and she swoons and wants to make babies with him. And all the girls in the X-rated videos sure seem to respond well to compliments. Extra well. The only problem is that these are not real-life situations. In real life, with real women, laying on the compliments only hurts your cause. It's anti-Challenge.
2. "I can raise any woman's Interest Level in me by boasting about myself."
Same thing with boasting. It's certainly true that women respond quite favorably to wealthy, powerful and successful men. So it seems logical that it would be helpful to tell a woman things about yourself that would make her think of you as someone who's a major league player.
But no matter how you play it, boasting only makes a woman feel as if you're trying to impress her. And the operative word here is trying. Trying is the opposite of Challenge [allowing the woman to chase you]. A real heavyweight kind of a guy doesn't have to try. He emanates confidence. It's far better to let her work a little to discover what an amazing guy you are. To you Psych majors: keep it to yourself.
3. "If I persistently demonstrate to the woman whom I'm courting how high my Interest Level in her is, it will raise her Interest Level in me."
This one's the real killer. Once again, media brainwashing is a major factor in perpetuating this myth. How many love stories have you seen or read where the plot line goes like this: Handsome guy likes beautiful girl, but girl isn't interested in guy. Guy is determined to do whatever it takes to win girl over. After guy begs, jumps through a dozen hoops and sacrifices himself for her, girl finally realizes: "Oh gosh, I love him!" As my cousin "Fast Eddie" Love would say, "Puke!"
Who do you think these plot lines are written for? It ain't for anyone who can grow a beard. Women love to fantasize about guys who will do anything to win their hearts, even risk death. They like the idea of a guy who is so enchanted by their charms that he can't control himself and won't give up.
But in real life, women want to do the pursuing. In real life, if you come on heavy, you lose. In real life, if you keep pursuing a woman after she said "no" five times, you get sued for sexual harassment or arrested for stalking.
Yes, this thinking has a certain (false) logic to it. Complimenting women sure seems to work in the movies and on television. A handsome lawyer tells Ally McBeal how smart and beautiful she is, and she swoons and wants to make babies with him. And all the girls in the X-rated videos sure seem to respond well to compliments. Extra well. The only problem is that these are not real-life situations. In real life, with real women, laying on the compliments only hurts your cause. It's anti-Challenge.
2. "I can raise any woman's Interest Level in me by boasting about myself."
Same thing with boasting. It's certainly true that women respond quite favorably to wealthy, powerful and successful men. So it seems logical that it would be helpful to tell a woman things about yourself that would make her think of you as someone who's a major league player.
But no matter how you play it, boasting only makes a woman feel as if you're trying to impress her. And the operative word here is trying. Trying is the opposite of Challenge [allowing the woman to chase you]. A real heavyweight kind of a guy doesn't have to try. He emanates confidence. It's far better to let her work a little to discover what an amazing guy you are. To you Psych majors: keep it to yourself.
3. "If I persistently demonstrate to the woman whom I'm courting how high my Interest Level in her is, it will raise her Interest Level in me."
This one's the real killer. Once again, media brainwashing is a major factor in perpetuating this myth. How many love stories have you seen or read where the plot line goes like this: Handsome guy likes beautiful girl, but girl isn't interested in guy. Guy is determined to do whatever it takes to win girl over. After guy begs, jumps through a dozen hoops and sacrifices himself for her, girl finally realizes: "Oh gosh, I love him!" As my cousin "Fast Eddie" Love would say, "Puke!"
Who do you think these plot lines are written for? It ain't for anyone who can grow a beard. Women love to fantasize about guys who will do anything to win their hearts, even risk death. They like the idea of a guy who is so enchanted by their charms that he can't control himself and won't give up.
But in real life, women want to do the pursuing. In real life, if you come on heavy, you lose. In real life, if you keep pursuing a woman after she said "no" five times, you get sued for sexual harassment or arrested for stalking.
