Importance of a wife Initiating Sex

[curvymommy]

Most of the time I'm the one initiating the sex as well, and yes sometimes it hurts my feelings or doesn't necessarily feel very good because I wish my wife would "initiate" more often. But as long as the sex is reaaallly good, then it's all good

Oh yeah it's crazy good. That's why he wonders why my memory is so short.

 

[digimon7068]

Ok, this is about as graphic as I'll ever get on here I promise but we're all adults so here it is:

Jeff Foxworthy knows what's up, lol!

My DH has to orally start me up for about 5 minuets or so. Usually I'm so dead-dog tired that I just get prettied up and lay on the bed half falling asleep til he gets outta the shower and comes over and does a sexual favor for me. (omg)

THEN I'm like WHOOHOO, I wake up and jump on top of him and we're off to the races and we have a great time. He's getting pissed that I jsut doll up and lay down and hence the conflict.

He's like, "honey, don't you love doing it?" I'm like "yeah, but I always forget til you start doing what you do so well!" HE just shakes his head and mumbles something about me having a short memory!

dang

you have a busy life and kids and stuff, right??

 

[Smurfy]

Thanks so much everyone for helping me out! Your questions and input are giving me a lot to consider.

Smurfy, you REALLY are onto something. Check this out~I guess I don't feel randomly horny.

Here is the true confession part that embarrasses me a little: to be continually horny throughout the day or at least have sex on my mind I must DWELL on it a lot. I can do it if I really focus. It takes a lot of working out, primping, googling stuff, sometimes flirting (innocently enough, I swear!) with random people at the store, meditating (fantasy?) on what I will do later for my DH, ect, ect... THEN and only then it I occupy my mind all day wtih sex can I become a horny little bitch.

It CAN be done but dang it, I run out of time. Right when I'm feeling it life happens, a kid throws up, or something and I'm back to square one.

It's a full time job, lol

lol its harder for women to become aroused simply by thoughts. we need the physical usually which is why once your DH starts in on you, its like picking up right where you left off.

 

[needtogetaas]

Well its good to see others have this problem. I think the last time my wife Initiated sex was 1999.

 

[Smurfy]

and by initiating, that could mean many things right? i mean, for me, it basically means me hinting at wanting it, and then perhaps some flirty touching in bed, like a grab of his butt or touching his weiner through his boxers lol

does that count guys? huh? does it?

 

[chris302001]

and by initiating, that could mean many things right? i mean, for me, it basically means me hinting at wanting it, and then perhaps some flirty touching in bed, like a grab of his butt or touching his weiner through his boxers lol

does that count guys? huh? does it?

omg, just wink at me and I'll be on top of you....

 

[needtogetaas]

and by initiating, that could mean many things right? i mean, for me, it basically means me hinting at wanting it, and then perhaps some flirty touching in bed, like a grab of his butt or touching his weiner through his boxers lol

does that count guys? huh? does it?

This counts, hinting does not count. What kind of a hint are we talking about. I hate hints. Tell me you are horny and want my dick. Not hint.

 

[digimon7068]

and by initiating, that could mean many things right? i mean, for me, it basically means me hinting at wanting it, and then perhaps some flirty touching in bed, like a grab of his butt or touching his weiner through his boxers lol

does that count guys? huh? does it?

i wear boxer briefs. . .3/4 length. . .and yeah. . .that counts. . .

 

[SpyWizard]

Ok, I know this forum can be somewhat gritty and straight forward so help me out here sexy people!

My husband keeps getting mad at me because I rarely initate sex. It's not like I put on flannel jammies and fuzzy slippers and expect him to be turned on. I make myself availiable to him. Wear lipgloss and cute stuff to bed, shave my legs (omg I can't believe I'm talking about this), smell good, don't wear sox, ect. We go to bed at the same time, ect. So, lots of good stuff going on.

~BUT~

Why am I not horny? Is it a decision you make? Am I doing something wrong? I just feel overly tired by the end of the day and am not in the mood to give a strip tease on the coffee table after finally getting my kids to bed at night.

Does it hurt your feelings if your woman doesn't initiate sex? Or is it enough for her to be a willing sport in it when you are ready?

My wife used that same expression "I make myself available" but she also knows that a man's self worth is often based (doesn't matter if it's true) on NOT being rejected..

Remember, the world is against him, he looks to you to always be his support..

just a thought..

 

[Smurfy]

This counts, hinting does not count. What kind of a hint are we talking about. I hate hints. Tell me you are horny and want my dick. Not hint.

sorry needto but women arent wired like men. maybe thats how men approach it, but a woman typically will not be like "im horny i want your dick". if youre waiting for that, you'll usually be waiting a long time. not that all women are made equal but you know your wife better than anyone here.

hinting like, "hey lets makeout later" or "youre going to bed with me, right?" or "when we goin to bed <wink>?"