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how to tell someone you DONT love them...

  • Thread starter Thread starter madbomber31
  • Start date Start date
M

madbomber31

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ok, i said it on here before that i started dating someone after i broke things off with djane... i never once have told this girl i love her, because i dont... i DO love djane who is away for summer and will likely end up moving on herself... anyway... whether djane does or not is not the point... what do i do about this new girl who "loves me"???
if i stay in it longer and feelings dont develope on my end she is gonna take it NOT SO WELL!!!
bottom line is, i dont see myself loving this girl, ever... she is a great girl, very pretty too... but just not for me.

she may stumble across this so i WILL delete it in 2 days... no bitching at me when i do.
 
dude

here you go. tell her you thought you were ready to move on from jane and now that you have you realize that you made the wrong choice. tell her in better times she would have been the perfect women for you, but we dont chose who and when we love. then slam your dick in her ass and tell her fuck friends are your best friends.....
 
you gotta just tell her straight out. Don't lead her on or beat around the bush about it, cause that will hurt her far worse than just being honest about it now before her feelings really get too strong.
This is one of the biggest problems I have always had, and this advice comes from much experience. It's hard, but you gotta be brutally honest when it comes to this stuff.
 
but to add a twist... what if you really are having a decent time with the girl... AND it keeps your mind off other things that would make you VERY sad?

i know a lot of guys here said the best way to get on with things is to date someone else....
 
just get out with friends man,thats how i keep myself away from thinking about shit that gets me down,i just got in and the shit is already settling back in
 
madbomber31 said:
but to add a twist... what if you really are having a decent time with the girl... AND it keeps your mind off other things that would make you VERY sad?

i know a lot of guys here said the best way to get on with things is to date someone else....
Click to expand...

Then that is being selfish. Don't lead her on.
 
man, you guys are so right... BUT...
i tried to end things last week and i was dead lonely... then she her cat died and i comforted her... i do like her, she is very sweet... i've been upfront with her about my feelings.. she knows i love djane and doesnt care... she has said to me "dont end things now because of that, give it time"... she also has said "i know my risks" when i have told her i really dont know about the longevity of our relationship... she seems to grasp on to the hope i will fall for her one day... trust me when i say i have told her odds are stacked against her...
 
MB,

If she is a aware that your feelings for her may not be as strong as hers are for you, then you can continue to date her.

As long as all parties are honest, no one is being harmed.
 
Best to be honest an straightforward then at least you don't have to check the call display everytime your phone rings like I do.
 
she knows.. believe me... i just dont think she believes it. last week i was laying there and looked up and said "this isn't right".. it was clear what i meant and she left... then on a seperate occassion she left here in tears... sobbing tears and i felt SOOO bad... but i have been honest.. i do NOT feel the same. she knows after summer when djane comes home that i may hear something from her that i want to hear and may even relocate... i may decide not too as well... and it may also be decided for me by djane that i am not welcome...

CAN WE ALL CHIP IN AND BUY ME A REAL DOLL???? PLEASE???
 
MB,
All i can reply with is ....make sure you don't end up getting her pregnant....sounds to me that she is trying to make you fall for her...be careful. Chicks can do aweful things when they are "inlove" and they know your feelings are with someone else. You sound like a decent guy with morals....you don't want to end up loosing Djane for giid cause some girl (who seems really nice and sweet) ends up with your kid.
 
SIMPLE.

"I DONT LOVE YOU"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OR IF YOU WANT TO BE A LITTLE NICER......."I CARE FOR YOU, BUT I DONT LOVE YOU"
 
I was in a relationship like that for 8 months. She was sooo in love with me, but after a while I didn't even like her.

If your not in love with her, she should be reading the signs, don't act like everything is fine and dandy, then drop a bombshell on her.

Start breaking plans and acting uninterested for a while, then when you tell her that you don't love her, it wont be such a shock.
 
Satanic Goatslayer said:
Slice her abdomen open with a knife and gut her. This will let her know, in no uncertain terms, that the relationship is over.
Click to expand...

HAAAA!!
 
Be as honest and sincer as you can about it.
 
well, i made plans with the boys for a bar night saturday... i'm also making a date for next weekend... so, that should clear up the "he's only into me" myth.

i was short with her last night on the net and she asked "whats goin on in your head"...

she then quickly said "never mind, i dont want to know"

so she knows.
 
this is the problem between women and men.. don't assume anything!

be direct, but choose your words. it's better than assuming she knows and possibly stringing her along. it's the grown-up thing to do.
 
I had a conversation with my girlfriend recently about the same stuff. I don't have tremendously deep feelings for her and I "know" I'll never marry her. She obviously feels a lot more for me than I do for her. She appreciated my honesty, is glad I didn't break up with her (almost did and told her so), and we have a lot of fun together so she wants me to stop thinking so much and just enjoy it. Be honest and you can keep going, if not, you can't stay with her like the Skywalker said.
 
she knows.. i have never once told her i loved her... i have not bought her flowers or sent her cards (i would have if i had stronger feelings)... i've been upfront.... i never asked to be loved by her nor did i want it. i never did anything extra nice to her for those feelings... she says she fell for me when i was playing with the neighbors kid.... i shoulda smacked him i guess.

anyway, it looks like its talk time on monday... or i may tell her i need a week away from her (that would put it at 11 or 12 days away from her as she is gone now) and then let things kinda fade out....

or hell, she may be reading this and i aint got shit to worry about.
 
Tell her that if you have to see her face or listen to her voice, you're going to put her head in a bowling bag.

SG
 
ah, to put a nice spin on things... djane is coming to visit for 5 days at the end of the month... including my birthday.... when informed of this news the new girl should run....

god i feel like a prick.
 
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