Happily married people...

[Evil_Frisky]

I strongly disagree. I think Jen's post was misunderstood. As I said in this and other posts, one does not have to be married and have children to understand certain things.

I know exactly what Jen is talking about because I saw with my parent's marriage. My mom would always be on top of my sister and I, but rarely did she ask my Dad "How was your day?". She would always stay late at work but rarely show any affection to my father. She took care of all of the chores and catered to him (my Dad is an OLD-fashioned man). But she neglected his emotional and physical needs.

To show attention and to actuall catorgorize people in your life are totally different.

What I read in jens response was put YOU and YOUR spouse first.. Kids, job next.

You don't have to put your spouse first to show love, respect and attention.

Sometimes being a parent, is overwhelming. Some days, honestly I can't go anymore by the end of the day. Work, Clean, cook, homework, baths, etc etc.. I will truthfully say that sometimes it becomes a chore and all the emotion is removed.

I wouldn't ever say your mom was wrong.. maybe she never realized that she was just following the motions of her everyday life. Trust me it happens. Have you ever been so exhausted that you didnt' even have the energy to cry? I have, burnt out completely.

 

[ChefWide]

I strongly disagree. I think Jen's post was misunderstood. As I said in this and other posts, one does not have to be married and have children to understand certain things.

I know exactly what Jen is talking about because I saw it with my parent's marriage. My mom would always be on top of my sister and I, but rarely did she ask my Dad "How was your day?". She would always stay late at work but rarely show any affection to my father. She took care of all of the chores and catered to him (my Dad is an OLD-fashioned man) and when she couldn't my sister and I cooked and cleaned. Don't get me wrong, she loved him. But she neglected his emotional and physical needs.

Where, exactly, my fast to the draw friend, did i say a feckin thing about neglecting my SO? I am UberMensch and do both with flying colors!

It is easy to do both, if you BOTH do both. My assertion is based purely on the hypothetical that someone might neglect ones children for the sake of spousal attenttion. NO accusatory anything, so dont make me stamp my feet and whine about it.

... now, yes, you can extrapolate any experience from looking from the outside in, anyone of above average intelligence can, that does not alter one bit the absolute need to BE IN IT to truely have an ORGANIC knowledge of it.

I could write a thousand volumes on kissing and the reader, no matter how gifted, will not KNOW until they DO. Period.

 

[Evil_Frisky]

Now back to the original topic......

Ok

I think it was about Happily married people.

Your turn

 

[jenscats5]

Ok

I think it was about Happily married people.

Your turn

I hid his birthday cards where he can't find them!!

 

[aandd]

I don't expect for anyone to agree with my way of thinking.. hell doubtfully anyone will. Everyone has their way, their priorities. I Love my kids, currently I am a single mom. I won't ever accept someone in my life that can't accept that my kids come first. If I have to cancel dinner because of homework.. oh well.. they are first. even something as petty as my daughter really wants to spend time watching a movie so maybe we can reschedule.. sorry they come first.

Maybe this makes me the most sorry ass potiential wife/girlfriend. I'm sure it does. I wouldn't be with someone that ever put me above their kids. NEVER!

Actually Fisky, I can relate to your position. When my kids were born, my life was nurse, sleep, nurse, change diapers, nurse, sleep..... I was exhausted all the time. Intimacy with my husband did suffer. I had a kid hanging off my boob most of the day, or being carried, or rocked to sleep, or held while he slept. I didn't have the time or energy for my husband. My r'ship with him HAD to take a back seat to nurturing a baby.

And no, we didn't have the option of dropping the baby off somewhere, for "us" time. So the r'ship suffered. We had sex maybe once a month. If that. but we both knew that the kids came first. We were BOTH commited to that end (as it sounds like you two were). We balanced our lives as much as possible and looked forward to the day that the kids gained a little more independence and we could focus more on each other.

i guess we were lucky that we were on the 'same page' and were commited to working through the difficult time.

 

[ChefWide]

I have to disagree with you since the original topic was about marriage and while I haven't given birth myself I DO have a step-child, thus am entitled to an opinion on child-rearing. Being a step parent can possibly be harder & more challenging than being a biological parent.

Plus, as an adopted person, one does not have to have biological kids to be a good and effective parent. Your post is almost an affront to all those who have adopted children or have become foster parents withougt producing thier own offspring.

Now back to the original topic......

Wrong. Having adopted or step kids, is, in all ways, or at least should be, the same level of emotional and parental commitment as pumpin' em out yourself.

You dont have to squeeze em out to love em. Did you hear someone say that? My comment was 'kids of your own' if you consider that child 'yours' how it got that way is of no import.

So, you and NYC, go gang up on somebody else, i am very sensitive today as my new boxers are chaffing my nethers and i cant stand the abuse....

 

[superqt4u2nv]

I should get an award for best thread of the day

 

[jenscats5]

Wrong. Having adopted or step kids, is, in all ways, or at least should be, the same level of emotional and parental commitment as pumpin' em out yourself.

You dont have to squeeze em out to love em. Did you hear someone say that? My comment was 'kids of your own' if you consider that child 'yours' how it got that way is of no import.

So, you and NYC, go gang up on somebody else, i am very sensitive today as my new boxers are chaffing my nethers and i cant stand the abuse....

Hey, I was just responding to your call-out...... Too many people play that card and I just won't have it! Ya hear? *stamps foot*

 

[ChefWide]

Hey, I was just responding to your call-out...... Too many people play that card and I just won't have it! Ya hear? *stamps foot*

look, missy angrypants, a pile of Bittersweet Peanut Butter tartlets with french vanilla ice cream!!!


BWHAHAHAAHHAAHAH!!!




best regards,

Eevil Von Smoove
Secret Lair
Transillllwania

 

[jenscats5]

look, missy angrypants, a pile of Bittersweet Peanut Butter tartlets with french vanilla ice cream!!!


BWHAHAHAAHHAAHAH!!!




best regards,

Eevil Von Smooth
Secret Lair
Transillllwania

I'm no longer dieting...........so there Mr. Homemade Spicy Hot NJ salsa pants. So I can eat what I want!! So I'm immune to your culinary kryptonite!! HAHAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!