Dutch Diva Log

[treilin]

Thanks for looking into it for me T. It probably is a gimmick, but it does make u very relaxed placebo effect of not. But I don't wnt kidney stones...........

I ate last night in the middle of the night. Pretty sad about it today. I don't know why i can't say its not going to happen and make it not happen. I have the control right... wel at least i was "calm" doing it, lol, eating my non grilled cheese sandwich, 3 banana's, and 2 pb cookies........................... I hate how everyday I have to go through this rehab phase of the previous evening cardo that only burns off the evening food, clean clean diet to simply not gain never mind ever be able to loose again. Its just so frustrating, I don't know why I can't just stop the behavior.

Cardio cardio cardio, hope everyone has a great weekend ladies!

No problem girl
I think we all go through that phase you describe...
What makes you get up in the middle of the night and eat? Ever try just drinking a really thick protein shake. I just looked at meal 7 and noticed it contained no fat. Maybe try adding some fat to your meal 7 which will burn longer and then help subside the night cravings. I usually eat PB, or almonds with like egg whites before bed. Another thing to try anyway... Have a good weekend

 

[dutch diva]

T thanks The thing is it doesn't matter what I eat before I go to bed I'm not eating of hunger. But I'll change that last meal up and see what comes of it.

It's just so frustrating to train and eat clean all the time and blow it everynight and look like a fatty not an athlete. It's just really hard on me. I like many of you probably define alot of who we are on competing, and training. And to not look like the part kills me. My bf looks ike a cover of a magazine, I'm talking crazy veinly show ready 200 pound hottie everyday. When people talk to us about fitness they talk to im about how great he looks and what can they do about there training and diet...even girls, and his response is talk to my g/f she knows more than me. Then they say "u work out "HOLY FUK".... it really puts me in a downward spin.....

I train hard I want to look hard, I want to see what I have done with training over my off season....

 

[sbt2082]

T thanks The thing is it doesn't matter what I eat before I go to bed I'm not eating of hunger. But I'll change that last meal up and see what comes of it.

It's just so frustrating to train and eat clean all the time and blow it everynight and look like a fatty not an athlete. It's just really hard on me. I like many of you probably define alot of who we are on competing, and training. And to not look like the part kills me. My bf looks ike a cover of a magazine, I'm talking crazy veinly show ready 200 pound hottie everyday. When people talk to us about fitness they talk to im about how great he looks and what can they do about there training and diet...even girls, and his response is talk to my g/f she knows more than me. Then they say "u work out "HOLY FUK".... it really puts me in a downward spin.....

I train hard I want to look hard, I want to see what I have done with training over my off season....

DOn't let those people get to ya... I'm sure in a few months time especially with good diet and training you'll be allllll set...

And I agree with T trying adding in some fat to that last meal, because I used to have the same problem and would ALWAYS wake up hungry (granted I didn't get up and eat a bunch, but would still wake up starving) but after adding in some PB or almonds that seemed to take care of it a little better

 

[treilin]

T thanks The thing is it doesn't matter what I eat before I go to bed I'm not eating of hunger. But I'll change that last meal up and see what comes of it.

It's just so frustrating to train and eat clean all the time and blow it everynight and look like a fatty not an athlete. It's just really hard on me. I like many of you probably define alot of who we are on competing, and training. And to not look like the part kills me. My bf looks ike a cover of a magazine, I'm talking crazy veinly show ready 200 pound hottie everyday. When people talk to us about fitness they talk to im about how great he looks and what can they do about there training and diet...even girls, and his response is talk to my g/f she knows more than me. Then they say "u work out "HOLY FUK".... it really puts me in a downward spin.....

I train hard I want to look hard, I want to see what I have done with training over my off season....

Yeah I'm dealing with that now.. but how I made it o.k. is I figure it's going to take me awhile to get to where I want to be.. and that I can't look like I'm on stage for 365 days of the year. The only way to see change on stage, is to see change in the winter... So hide the excess with the right clothes in the winter, begin to shed clothes as the summer roles around.
I am sure it would be a blow if someone said that to you. You just have to look inward and just be o.k. with the way you look no matter what people say. If your BF is happy with you also then there shouldn't be any issues with what everyone else says. It is easier IMO for most men to get lean and bulk then it is for women. Guys carry excess weight and they just look muscular and big. Girls' carry excess weight we look like Plump and smooth. I don't know to many women who like to look 'big' like men. We can't carry it as 'gracefully' and still feel as feminine as we do when we are cut and stage ready. Just have to be happy and understand your body goes through these phases to become better and better...
Maybe.... Post some pictures up here and start typing in this log your daily food, and weights and just have something to hold yourself accountable too. Then take like bi-weekly pictures and we can help tell you where we see change. Most of the time we are harder on ourselves, and don't see the changes because we see ourselves every day and have a distorted image of what we really look like. Like take a 3 month goal and get yourself a little ticker like I have at the bottom of the signature and shoot for it. Small goals help keep our mind busy till we reach the big overall goals

 

[*Bunny*]

I don't know why I can't just stop the behavior.

You CAN and you WILL ... you are taking the right steps to conquer this DD. Believe that & the rest will slowly fall into place.

I will suggest NOT to follow the path of many other loggers who just STOPPED logging b/c they couldn't deal with the comments & being honest with themselves. It's as if too much honesty led them to failure ... that shouldn't be the case. This is your way to help yourself. You start a log people will try to help you, post opinions, show support, a way to be honest with yourself to HELP yourself, and others you don't even know you are helping and you may not even realize it b/c maybe they are lurkers, experiencing the same things as you.

If you feel overwhelmed, frustrated, like you wanna quit, pissed b/c you binged last night or WHATEVER, it is OK. We are here to help you and NOT to judge you. Don't EVER feel like you can't post b/c you can't take the reality of what you really ate last night, over the weekend, on your vacation ... Make the most out of your log to help you identify these patterns so you can overcome them. Better yet, you can take THAT positive mentality & encourgement you learn, receive & give yourself here & apply it to your every day life off EF in social situations or when you are asking yourself if you should really eat that pint of icecream.

Sorry for the mini rant. I SO want you to succeed and get through this b/c you can help MANY women get over the same type of situation you are in yourself ... including me

 

[dutch diva]

DOn't let those people get to ya... I'm sure in a few months time especially with good diet and training you'll be allllll set...

And I agree with T trying adding in some fat to that last meal, because I used to have the same problem and would ALWAYS wake up hungry (granted I didn't get up and eat a bunch, but would still wake up starving) but after adding in some PB or almonds that seemed to take care of it a little better

Hell Yaeh! Thanks sbt, I was in a rut...out of it now and still moving forward... thank you

 

[dutch diva]

Yeah I'm dealing with that now.. but how I made it o.k. is I figure it's going to take me awhile to get to where I want to be.. and that I can't look like I'm on stage for 365 days of the year. The only way to see change on stage, is to see change in the winter... So hide the excess with the right clothes in the winter, begin to shed clothes as the summer roles around.
I am sure it would be a blow if someone said that to you. You just have to look inward and just be o.k. with the way you look no matter what people say. If your BF is happy with you also then there shouldn't be any issues with what everyone else says. It is easier IMO for most men to get lean and bulk then it is for women. Guys carry excess weight and they just look muscular and big. Girls' carry excess weight we look like Plump and smooth. I don't know to many women who like to look 'big' like men. We can't carry it as 'gracefully' and still feel as feminine as we do when we are cut and stage ready. Just have to be happy and understand your body goes through these phases to become better and better...
Maybe.... Post some pictures up here and start typing in this log your daily food, and weights and just have something to hold yourself accountable too. Then take like bi-weekly pictures and we can help tell you where we see change. Most of the time we are harder on ourselves, and don't see the changes because we see ourselves every day and have a distorted image of what we really look like. Like take a 3 month goal and get yourself a little ticker like I have at the bottom of the signature and shoot for it. Small goals help keep our mind busy till we reach the big overall goals

Thanks T, I know I can't look stage day ready 365...I just don't want to be 40 pounds over my contest weight either...its getting to that happy medium. I have to get a new camera, I'll do that and post up some pictures And your right its about being comfortable in my own skin... and I am determined to get there. Thank you for the words of encouragement, it means alot! (How do I post pic's? Just put up a photobucket link?)

 

[treilin]

Thanks T, I know I can't look stage day ready 365...I just don't want to be 40 pounds over my contest weight either...its getting to that happy medium. I have to get a new camera, I'll do that and post up some pictures And your right its about being comfortable in my own skin... and I am determined to get there. Thank you for the words of encouragement, it means alot! (How do I post pic's? Just put up a photobucket link?)

Yep that's how I do it! Have a good rest of your weekend!

 

[dutch diva]

You CAN and you WILL ... you are taking the right steps to conquer this DD. Believe that & the rest will slowly fall into place.

I will suggest NOT to follow the path of many other loggers who just STOPPED logging b/c they couldn't deal with the comments & being honest with themselves. It's as if too much honesty led them to failure ... that shouldn't be the case. This is your way to help yourself. You start a log people will try to help you, post opinions, show support, a way to be honest with yourself to HELP yourself, and others you don't even know you are helping and you may not even realize it b/c maybe they are lurkers, experiencing the same things as you.

If you feel overwhelmed, frustrated, like you wanna quit, pissed b/c you binged last night or WHATEVER, it is OK. We are here to help you and NOT to judge you. Don't EVER feel like you can't post b/c you can't take the reality of what you really ate last night, over the weekend, on your vacation ... Make the most out of your log to help you identify these patterns so you can overcome them. Better yet, you can take THAT positive mentality & encourgement you learn, receive & give yourself here & apply it to your every day life off EF in social situations or when you are asking yourself if you should really eat that pint of icecream.

Sorry for the mini rant. I SO want you to succeed and get through this b/c you can help MANY women get over the same type of situation you are in yourself ... including me

Hey Bunny, sorry i took a bit to get back to you on that post. Thank you for your support. I would never quit my journal, I'm not here for a pat on the back, I'm here for honesty and helpful critques! So you bet I'll be on here for a while.

I think there are alot of women out there with similar problems and ways to relate, so any help these boards bring to those is fantastic, I know i was reading many days when i was depressed and just needed to relax and read people with similar struggles.

 

[dutch diva]

So it turned out to be a great weekend, I really turned things around.... in terms of my perspective and continued persistance with my goals.

Training the last 2 days was just cardio ....1 hr sessions, 30 mins HITT on tredmill & 30 mins arch trainer & ab's on Saturday. Diet was clean... and I'm ready for the week ahead.

I just left my thesis advisors office and i should be super stressed with the work I need to accomplish by Thurs but it's funny I'm more stressed in life about appearance. Do you think we create just problems with our bodies so that we don't have to deal with the greater problems, almost a distraction. I dunno, I feel like I would be bored if i didn't have to worry about my weight some days.
Have a great week everyone, diet and training later today.