its very hard to compare the weight used in rows because it depends on how much you are concentrating on mind-muscle and using back, I do dumbell rows with 88lbs and I have hit 25 reps on each arm, but I was hauling the dumbell up and not even thinking about my traps and lats. I do barbell rows and I do them strict bend over at about 60 degrees and concentrate on pulling with my back only, because of this I go light, 143x10 for example.
I really dont get why you say its so hard for people to not move their hips and jerk the weight up, just stand steady and tighten your core, its not really hard, and if you cant pull the weight up without jerking then its too heavy. The way that you are bent over and have to maintain the position with rows means they hit abs, obliques, spinal erectors, glutes etc aswell as back bi's and forearms
but as I already said, I do both types of rows and do each one for a differant purpose. DB Rows because I enjoy them, like using heavy DB's, they make my bi's and forearms grow, help my deadlift lockouts and improve my grip, but I do barbell rows for upper and middle back and lat hypertrophy. I use a thumbell grip on barbell rows so its still kinda hard on grip towards the end of the high rep sets