I'm not saying I'm not repressed, probably, I have no idea, but idk. Most of the things that I think of in a "rape fantasy" I've done yet I've never done that before as in, I've never pretended I didn't want it and a guy has never played that role for me. IDK. Maybe I don't realize I feel guilty haha. The one guy I was comfortable enough to mention it to looked at me like I was insane. Maybe I am.