The worst sex you ever had.

[KillahBee]

KB called his girl a dude? WTF?

She was in a state of hysteria, man. I needed her to snap out ofit

 

[AAP]

Here's mine.

I went out to a bar and met up with this damn musician of all people. Good lord. But he was hot in a different kind of way. Plus I was horny. Rather average looking, but I was horny.

I had to put up with him getting shitfaced drunk and telling me how miserable it was for him to have his lifestyle. He kept saying "I didn't choose this lifestyle, it chose me." Well his lifestyle meant waking up at 2PM and spending all day hanging out at coffee/head shops writing inane lyrics that he would then go to some dive hole and belt out after midnight. I made the rather stupid (to him) suggestion that maybe he should work a 9-5 job for income like most people. Boy was he livid about that. Ok, so what....

So we go back to his place to fuck. Cause unlike Heatherrae, I ain't waiting a month to jump in bed with them. We get there and the first thing he wants to do is sing a song for me. (fuck that). Then we get naked and it becomes very evident that this dude, in addition to being very drunk is very clueless as well. I mean he is licking and sucking all over my abs - everywhere BUT my dick - like a penis is magically going to sprout out of the skin there. YES!! He was actually going through the pull back and deep throat motions on my fucking abs. He was deep throating air. So I pushed his head lower and that was a big mistake. Once he found my cock it was obvious that he didn't have a clue what to do. I mean hell, straight men take to cock sucking naturally and this fool was only rolling it around his forehead and both sides of his cheeks. It was like he was a pair of ill fitting underwear that kept riding up my hips and smothering my cock. And when he finally did start sucking... the facial expressions he was going through made me think I was staring at some caveman exhibit down and the Natural History Museum. Though I do give him originality points for those load hynealike noises he kept making.

So I am sitting on the edge of the bed, stretching one leg out trying to knock his Pier 66 scented candle over so it would start a fire and cause a distraction long enough for me to escape. When suddenly. He just stops. He bounces right up and says in casual voice "Now it is time I use my rectum"

I was like "Oh hell no you don't either."

I got the fuck out of there.

 

[ponyfitness]

Some of these are really funny. And the scary thing is I'm sure we can relate to many of them.

Another good one: the dead fish. Hooked up with a sorority girl this one time who was known quite well for putting out and she had a smoking hot body on her even though she had a butterface. After a few drinks we start fooling around and got naked. The funny thing is she really sucked in bed. I mean bad. She slobbered all over my dick and used teeth on it to the point I had to tell her to stop and decided to go down on her. I worked that for a while and she didn't move the entire time (and I know what I'm doing) so I decide to get on top and start pumping. The ENTIRE time I was on top of her not only did she not make a sound she didn't move and was staring off into space. It got kind of creepy after a few minutes so I switched positions. After a few more minutes she looked at me and said "I can't get into it this way." My response:

"And you've been into it up until now?"

She got a little upset and I had to jerk off on her tits.

 

[feisty11975]

Here's mine.

I went out to a bar and met up with this damn musician of all people. Good lord. But he was hot in a different kind of way. Plus I was horny. Rather average looking, but I was horny.

I had to put up with him getting shitfaced drunk and telling me how miserable it was for him to have his lifestyle. He kept saying "I didn't choose this lifestyle, it chose me." Well his lifestyle meant waking up at 2PM and spending all day hanging out at coffee/head shops writing inane lyrics that he would then go to some dive hole and belt out after midnight. I made the rather stupid (to him) suggestion that maybe he should work a 9-5 job for income like most people. Boy was he livid about that. Ok, so what....

So we go back to his place to fuck. Cause unlike Heatherrae, I ain't waiting a month to jump in bed with them. We get there and the first thing he wants to do is sing a song for me. (fuck that). Then we get naked and it becomes very evident that this dude, in addition to being very drunk is very clueless as well. I mean he is licking and sucking all over my abs - everywhere BUT my dick - like a penis is magically going to sprout out of the skin there. YES!! He was actually going through the pull back and deep throat motions on my fucking abs. He was deep throating air. So I pushed his head lower and that was a big mistake. Once he found my cock it was obvious that he didn't have a clue what to do. I mean hell, straight men take to cock sucking naturally and this fool was only rolling it around his forehead and both sides of his cheeks. It was like he was a pair of ill fitting underwear that kept riding up my hips and smothering my cock. And when he finally did start sucking... the facial expressions he was going through made me think I was staring at some caveman exhibit down and the Natural History Museum. Though I do give him originality points for those load hynealike noises he kept making.

So I am sitting on the edge of the bed, stretching one leg out trying to knock his Pier 66 scented candle over so it would start a fire and cause a distraction long enough for me to escape. When suddenly. He just stops. He bounces right up and says in casual voice "Now it is time I use my rectum"

I was like "Oh hell no you don't either."

I got the fuck out of there.

I so love your stories!

 

[jackangel]

once, my hand was rough and callused from working in the fields all day.

sublimezm, get a hold of yourself and keep it civil. stupid fucking dog.

 

[Bikini Mod]

Here's mine.

I went out to a bar and met up with this damn musician of all people. Good lord. But he was hot in a different kind of way. Plus I was horny. Rather average looking, but I was horny.

I had to put up with him getting shitfaced drunk and telling me how miserable it was for him to have his lifestyle. He kept saying "I didn't choose this lifestyle, it chose me." Well his lifestyle meant waking up at 2PM and spending all day hanging out at coffee/head shops writing inane lyrics that he would then go to some dive hole and belt out after midnight. I made the rather stupid (to him) suggestion that maybe he should work a 9-5 job for income like most people. Boy was he livid about that. Ok, so what....

So we go back to his place to fuck. Cause unlike Heatherrae, I ain't waiting a month to jump in bed with them. We get there and the first thing he wants to do is sing a song for me. (fuck that). Then we get naked and it becomes very evident that this dude, in addition to being very drunk is very clueless as well. I mean he is licking and sucking all over my abs - everywhere BUT my dick - like a penis is magically going to sprout out of the skin there. YES!! He was actually going through the pull back and deep throat motions on my fucking abs. He was deep throating air. So I pushed his head lower and that was a big mistake. Once he found my cock it was obvious that he didn't have a clue what to do. I mean hell, straight men take to cock sucking naturally and this fool was only rolling it around his forehead and both sides of his cheeks. It was like he was a pair of ill fitting underwear that kept riding up my hips and smothering my cock. And when he finally did start sucking... the facial expressions he was going through made me think I was staring at some caveman exhibit down and the Natural History Museum. Though I do give him originality points for those load hynealike noises he kept making.

So I am sitting on the edge of the bed, stretching one leg out trying to knock his Pier 66 scented candle over so it would start a fire and cause a distraction long enough for me to escape. When suddenly. He just stops. He bounces right up and says in casual voice "Now it is time I use my rectum"

I was like "Oh hell no you don't either."

I got the fuck out of there.

As I was reading this I busted out laughing and three men walked up in the office. They all checked their zippers!!!

LMFAO

 

[mustang_00]

worst was this girl just lied there and did absolutely NOTHING. We made out with clothes on for a while feeling eachother up, she teased the hell out of me. she had a nice body and the way she was working it with clothes on you'd think she'd be a freak in bed. she led me to her room and she jumps on the bed face up. i start kissing her neck and i take her clothes off. The lights are on and she's just laying there with her eyes closed not looking at me not talking. i'm just like this is fucking odd. i get on top of her and she whispers in my ear. "mmm stick it in me" so i slide it in hopeing things would change, and nothing. so i pull out and ask her if i'm going to be doing all the work and she apologizes and feels embarrassed. So she tells me to get on my back and she climbs on top of me. just to lay there. DOING NOTHING!!! picture someone naked laying on top of you with there arms and legs stretched out. I layed there with my eyes wide wondering what the fuck this girl was doing. the HILARIOUS part was my dick seemed to be in a WTF stage along with me. You know when you're going to the bathroom and you can move your dick (i like to call it his dancing show) well my cock moved (i swear to christ i didn't make it move) and it slapped against her pussy like it was telling it to wake the fuck up. I told her i had to go and that we should hang out another night.

 

[drifter75]

I was with this girl ontime and it was an awful experience. We were kissing and all that stuff, so i decided to give her a little finger action to get it all started. Well i always start with one or two fingers. This girl had a rep for being kinda of easy so I started with 2. Well I noticed that there was absolutely no friction so i quickly went to 3. Well wouldnt you know it, still no friction. My fingers were straight across, not all jumbled up like most girls. I went to 4 fingers. Still nothing, I couldnt believe it. This girl didnt even have any kids. The biggest snatch ever!!!!! Kinda like throwing a hotdog down a hallway and the worst part is that she couldnt give decent head. Also she would not allow for an alternate route. Absolutely the worst.

 

[immortalis]

I dont have any long drawn out story about my worst experience ever. Ive had quite a few not so pleasant ones... I even posted one here in BTS a while back about being Interupted by an Animal ...

But the worst one I ever had was with a girl who I was really really good friends with, who was extremely sexy. We had so much in common... she was one of those girls that you hope the sex is great with because you really could see yourself with that person at some point down the road. Well, we just werent meant to be together in bed. I cant describe it, we just didnt fit right and she just wasnt very good. It was a super super let down.

 

[feisty11975]

I dont have any long drawn out story about my worst experience ever. Ive had quite a few not so pleasant ones... I even posted one here in BTS a while back about being Interupted by an Animal ...

But the worst one I ever had was with a girl who I was really really good friends with, who was extremely sexy. We had so much in common... she was one of those girls that you hope the sex is great with because you really could see yourself with that person at some point down the road. Well, we just werent meant to be together in bed. I cant describe it, we just didnt fit right and she just wasnt very good. It was a super super let down.

a lil more details next time please