The Innocence of Childhood Destroyed!

[HumorMe]

Re: HumorMe, Crazier, serious question:

What specifically are you concerned will happen to your child if they are exposed to this stuff? Noone has really addressed this question yet.

casavant
The concerns I have for my child are this. She is a very intelligent, outgoing child. She gets straight A's and never forgets anything. She can recall things that she did when she was 2 years old. Totally awesome memory! She never meets a stranger and is sometimes very trusting to a fault. She knows a few "bad words" but doesn't really know what they mean except what her friends have told her but I think she knows more than what she is letting on to though. I know one day she will experience things that I have no control over but until that day I will guide her as best that I can. I just think that 9 years old is way too early to accidently stumble onto one these sites when she was trying to find out some information for a school project. IMO, it's one thing to stumble across still pictures of sex acts but it's another thing to stumble across a site like the one mentioned and all the pictures are showing various sex acts with full animation. Now, although one is as bad as the other.....having a website with an address such as this is totally unacceptable because of the importance of the event and knowing that school aged children will be studying this event and come across that website by mistake and maybe they are sitting at their computer unattended. Human curiousity will dicitae what that child will do with the scroll button. Freak Monster mentioned NetNanny and that is something I will install very soon and it's my fault that it isn't on my computer but that's another story.

Again, kids do not have the ability to decide what is right or wrong for their own good. They will grab the first thing that shines and glitters. I'm not a dictator in my house but I am a stern disciplinarian. If I would have walked upon her and she was looking at it without my knowledge then it would be a different story. But she was innoncently looking for information for a class assignment and came across it with me being no more that 20 feet from her. I always am very near her when she gets on the Internet and the sites she visits. Call me a prude or a nerd....it really doesn't matter to me. My interests are the protection of my children from the deviates in the world today. Like I said earlier, I know there will come a day when I can't protect these things but 9 years old is still within the realm of trying to delay the process until she reaches an older age.

 

[Prometheus]

that's a tough situation, sorry to hear about it. tricking people onto websites without their intent is pretty revolting.

I'm no expert, but since the damage has already been done, maybe this is a good time to start an honest discussion about the subject, if only to make her feel she didn't do anything wrong, and that what she saw isn't necessarily a "bad" thing, which she might feel given the circumstances. Early-formed negative associations with sex and with her body can be much more detrimental in the long run than the exposure you described. Obviously you would have waited a few more years to talk about this stuff, but it might be better to accelerate the process.

JMHO - good luck to you.

 

[Crazier]

NERD!!!

Just kidding HumorMe... Sounds like you're doing a great job parenting... and I believe anyone WITH kids, would agree with your thoughts and method parenting.

Any parent who gave a shit anyway.
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[HumorMe]

aurelius

I know you must have a very liberal viewpoint on life and what is good for you and everybody else. IMO, I believe that you fail to see the importance of being a devoted father/parent. I'm not attacking you but I want you to understand the importance of what it takes to be a parent. Anybody can be a father or a mother but it takes more devotion than you can imagine to be a parent that cares about their kids. Like I said, I'm not coming down on you and can somewhat respect your position but things like this do not need to happen even if by accident but we are not allowed to make those decisions as to what address these websites use.

I don't think she has been scarred for life, it's just the innocence of being a child and being exposed to this too early that makes my stomach weak. Wait until the day when your son/daughter comes up to you and starts asking question about the "birds and the bees".

You just can't sit there and say...okay....you see...this is a cock and this is a pussy...you stick cock here or if your are gay...stick it here...then when you are about to bust a nut.....pull it out and blow it all over the girls face, tits, hair..blah, blah, blah.

You have to put it in words that they can understand and only tell them enough to satisfy their curiousity. Think about it!

 

[HumorMe]

that's a tough situation, sorry to hear about it. tricking people onto websites without their intent is pretty revolting.

I'm no expert, but since the damage has already been done, maybe this is a good time to start an honest discussion about the subject, if only to make her feel she didn't do anything wrong, and that what she saw isn't necessarily a "bad" thing, which she might feel given the circumstances. Early-formed negative associations with sex and with her body can be much more detrimental in the long run than the exposure you described. Obviously you would have waited a few more years to talk about this stuff, but it might be better to accelerate the process.

JMHO - good luck to you.

Thanks Prometheus! That's the angle I am working for right now. She didn't do anything wrong but it's just something she needs to avoid in the future. I agree about the early formed negative association thing. I just want her to understand these things. Thanks again!

 

[HumorMe]

NERD!!!

Just kidding HumorMe... Sounds like you're doing a great job parenting... and I believe anyone WITH kids, would agree with your thoughts and method parenting.

Any parent who gave a shit anyway.
--

I know, I know!

Parenting is tough but I enjoy it so much! Thanks!

 

[casavant]

I respect the point of view you guys have in regards to raising your kids. That's cool. I'm not sure what rules I will set if I have kids, but I see myself limiting what they see also for various reasons.

But Crazier, I have known some parents, and surely you have also, who let there children be exposed to that stuff. I have a couple of good friends whose mom would let us watch hard core porn at their house when we were twelve (she wasn't watching with us, though. Yuck). Besides chronic hard ons, it didn't do any damage to us. One of them is married now and has a two year old daughter of his own that he is doing a great job of raising.

 

[Crazier]

But Crazier, I have known some parents, and surely you have also, who let there children be exposed to that stuff. I have a couple of good friends whose mom would let us watch hard core porn at their house when we were twelve (she wasn't watching with us, though. Yuck). Besides chronic hard ons, it didn't do any damage to us. One of them is married now and has a two year old daughter of his own that he is doing a great job of raising.

I can't believe she'd watch that shit with you guys!!!

Now... good post casavant... and absolutely. I was raised in a very sheltered home. I didn't get to do much, which resulted in me rebelling as a teen. I got my girlfriend pregnant at 19. She also was raised in a very sheltered home... yet she got pregnant at 17. We were both raised believing that you only have sex with one person... and that'd be the person you marry.

Yet, some people that were raised watching porn and smoking dope with their parent's grew up to be well adjusted, non pregnant teens, who went onto college.

You roll the dice and take your changes in parenting I suppose. It's the lessons and open communication that I think matters above all. As aurelius mentioned, just because she saw this on the net, doen't mean she's going to start sucking dick. However... if she is curious about what she saw (which, well no shit... she's gotta be) more importantly than what she saw, is how HumorMe communicates with her. That's the lesson that she will remember and learn from the experience. If HumorMe just click's it off the screen... say's 'never look at that stuff or on that site... it's bad'... well, no shit... she's gonna look at it the moment he's gone... and then when she get's older and rebel's she'll be the teen in the car sucking Joey's dick.

Mind you.. she won't realize the effect this experience has on her. She thinks she's sucking dick because she likes to suck dick.
In actuality, it'd be her sub-conscious rebelling.

I try and remember all the small things in life I remember growing up as a kid. My parent's don't even remember most of them. Yet, those event's that seemed so meaningless at the time, developed who I am today.

Nothing should be 'off grounds' between a child and parent. I work very hard to have a relationship with my daughter, not only as father and daughter.... but also as friends. I don't want her to feel that she has to hide things from me. Ever. No matter how bad she thinks it is... I've done worse. So long as the parent is there, not just to discipline, but to teach and communicate... she could probably watch porn all day long without adverse effects.

Honest, open communication is more important to development than a moment of viewing something you aren't supposed to.

The communication is what effect's the child the most, imo.
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[HumorMe]

Crazier

Good points made.

Being a kid and curious as Hell, I'm sure she will remember all of this. I just hope that she will make the right decisions when faced with these things. My wife and I can only raise her with understanding of morals and values and let her heart give her the right answers. It's tough being a parent. We do fuck up occassionally raising our kids but it makes us have a better understanding in the future. Kids will do what kids will do. I don't want to rule her life but at this point in her life she needs all the help in direction she can stand. I just hope and pray I can lead her in the right direction. Thanks Crazier and all of the others for discussing this with me. Time to go to work...be back later!

 

[matto18]

dude i was snappin it before i was even 9 years old. i'm sure she knows EXACTLY what was on the screen... kids today know more than you think (or even WANT to think).