Please Help a insecure woman

[mrstamiina]

I need all your help because I am not sure what to do. My girlfriend wants to lose weight which I don’t mine but right now she thinks she’s fat. I mean 250 pounds fat. She only weighs about 130lbs at about 5’7 but wants to be about 110.

It took me a year to get her to start lifting weights, I think the energy I wasted trying to get her to lift weights would have been better spent on my own life, but I do care about her.
She doesn’t like lifting weights because you get that pump and it makes her feel bigger . lol

She wants to just run her ass off.

I told her it will take time before you see results but like most girls she wants to see results over night.

The big problem is, I am a very strong guy, booth mentally and physically. I find her to be extremely weak but I look at it as she s a girl and most girls are weak.

I tell myself how much I love myself, she tells herself how much she hates herself.
Its reached a point where all my friends and I say how good she looks now but she doesn’t care. She doesn’t like it.
And this is where it hurts the most, not only she doesn’t want to go out anymore or be seen at the gym, she won’t take her shirt of to have sex. And I love the way she looks and told her. And she has no desire to have sex at all.

She stopped watching simple TV shows because there will be a girl in it or in bikinis. For example WWE or Fear Factor, music videos etc.
24/7 she belittles herself, tells me how she can’t fit into anything and how everybody is looking at her because she’s fat.

Now when I met my girlfriend she was starving herself and was weighing about 106lbs, no ass and no tits. Now she’s got boobs a ass and looking better every day but hates the way she looks. Her exact words is “ I want to look slim and straight”. The only way I know you can look like that is by starving yourself.

Well theres a lot more about this insecurity issue but I think you guys get the idea.
My question is, what do you think I should do? I told her the relationship would be perfect if she dropped the insecurity crap. I know I won’t be able to take much more of this.

Any advice or help well be great.

 

[Daisy_Girl]

Honestly I think she needs therapy.

You can't MAKE someone feel better about themselves, they have to do that on their own. She needs to talk to a professional.

 

[wend]

Yeah, she needs a shrink. She's got anorexia, which will eventually kill her if she doesn't get help. Good luck.

 

[mrstamiina]

Is there specialist on this subject or should she just go to any of them?

Also, isnt therapy expensive?

 

[Daisy_Girl]

Is there specialist on this subject or should she just go to any of them?

Also, isnt therapy expensive?

therapist who specializes in eating disorders, image disorders, something siilar. Yes, it can be expensive, but isn't it worth it if the alternative is starving yourself to DEATH.

 

[butterflychick]

Most health insurances cover majority of sessions...usually just a co-payment is expected.

 

[jenscats5]

A negative body image like she has isn't something to mess around with. The money will be worth it, no matter how much it costs. You can't make her like herself. I agree, therapy is in order.

 

[Sassy69]

Ugh -- I'd offer up a swift kick in the ass- I'm 5'7" - my best competition weight was 133 lb. I couldn't get down to 110 unless I chopped off a leg & an arm.

If she's truly believes she needs to be 110, then she will go anorexic, eat nothing & do cardio all day. She may "want" to do that, but if she isn't actually doing it, I guess you don't need to run out & have her committed. Plenty of women obsess about their weight, for exactly the reasons you said. Something short of sending her off to a $$$ therapist is to at least see if she can put some logic behind her image of herself -- WHY does she feel she's fat? If she idolizes the chicks on Fear Factor, will she also want to eat cow guts & rotten leaves while jumping off a building?? Seriously, what is the tangible reason that justifies her view of herself? If she can't come up with one, then she should understand that it's is ok to feel like she feels occassionally- I think its a "female thing" to a point. But not literallly.

If that doesn't work, cart her off to the shrink. A poor self image is destructive.

 

[chvl67]

WHY does she feel she's fat? If she idolizes the chicks on Fear Factor, will she also want to eat cow guts & rotten leaves while jumping off a building?? Seriously, what is the tangible reason that justifies her view of herself?

And likewise, the question that I would ask her is whom she feels has a great body for comparison purposes. I'll bet she'd be surprised at their weight. (And to be a broken record here: The scale means nothing. Weight is not a good measure of fitness.)
I honestly can't think of any really good looking actresses who are 5'7" and 110 pounds. And like Sassy said, you won't find any in fitness.
She definitely does have an eating disorder, or will...

 

[mrstamiina]

I think she likes nasty skinny, flat chested no ass runway models.

She doesn't relize that most of them starve them selves or its natrual. Or alot of coke and xtc.

Has any of you run into this problem before, either with yourself or somebody you know?

Help please..