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Please Help a insecure woman
- Thread starter mrstamiina
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hellboy
New member
It sounds like you're dating my ex. Seriously.
She was anorexic/bulimic. Was in a lot of therapy - shrink and group and pills and had been since she was around 13. She was 25 at the time we dated. 5'7 and her 'record' was 80 pounds. Whe I met her she was doing ok though at 95.
Anyway it really sounds like your gf has an eating disorder. Has she admitted this to you? It's really hard to talk to them about it unless the are already aware of the situation. And even then there isn't much that you as an individual will be able to do for her except be there and encourage her to take care of herself. Whatever you do - getting pissed and angry at her about it simply will NOT help. Telling her that skinny girls look gross won't make her want to get better. It'll just make her think that you don't find her attractive and she'll do stuff like keep her shirt on during sex. I've been there and man it's frustrating as hell. It defies all logic. Maybe you could bring up the subject and maybe find some way to get her into a therapy session? If she really does have an eating disorder then that's the only thing that's gonna help. You may even have to get drastic and talk to her parents about it. Have some kind of intervention. I dunno.
Good luck though.
Exactly. It's impossible to reason with them about it. "I don't CARE what other girls look like" "I don't WANT to look normal". "I dont WANT to get better". They buy clothes that are too small and then complain that they are fat because they cant fit in them. Sigh. I know this is mean to say but she and I broke up last November and I don't miss being a part of that lifestyle one bit.
Congrats FitFossil on working through your issues. I know it's an extremely hard thing to do and it takes a shit load of courage. I wish I had been a member of this board last year.
hb
She was anorexic/bulimic. Was in a lot of therapy - shrink and group and pills and had been since she was around 13. She was 25 at the time we dated. 5'7 and her 'record' was 80 pounds. Whe I met her she was doing ok though at 95.
Anyway it really sounds like your gf has an eating disorder. Has she admitted this to you? It's really hard to talk to them about it unless the are already aware of the situation. And even then there isn't much that you as an individual will be able to do for her except be there and encourage her to take care of herself. Whatever you do - getting pissed and angry at her about it simply will NOT help. Telling her that skinny girls look gross won't make her want to get better. It'll just make her think that you don't find her attractive and she'll do stuff like keep her shirt on during sex. I've been there and man it's frustrating as hell. It defies all logic. Maybe you could bring up the subject and maybe find some way to get her into a therapy session? If she really does have an eating disorder then that's the only thing that's gonna help. You may even have to get drastic and talk to her parents about it. Have some kind of intervention. I dunno.
Good luck though.
FitFossil said:
Exactly. It's impossible to reason with them about it. "I don't CARE what other girls look like" "I don't WANT to look normal". "I dont WANT to get better". They buy clothes that are too small and then complain that they are fat because they cant fit in them. Sigh. I know this is mean to say but she and I broke up last November and I don't miss being a part of that lifestyle one bit.
Congrats FitFossil on working through your issues. I know it's an extremely hard thing to do and it takes a shit load of courage. I wish I had been a member of this board last year.
hb
wend
New member
FF, what you said about bodybuilding being a postive way of taking control is right on. Eating disorders often have little to do with self esteem and everything to do with control. I got back into bodybuilding myself because I needed to feel like there was something I could control, after life had served me too many bits of chaos--finding out that my best friend had been a victim of incest at the hands of her father, who lives around the corner from me. (Now she's starting to take control of her own life and fitness by walking, rather than acting out in some of the ways that she was when she began her recovery.)
J
jenscats5
Guest
Both books helped me realize where my insecurity was coming from & a little how to deal with it, but my self esteem was so very low that I needed therapy. I went thru 3 therapists before finding the right one & that helped tremendously. Yeah, it can cost, but living your life hating yourself is worse.
Both books made me more self aware, I should say.
Both books made me more self aware, I should say.
2Shy
New member
I second Wend. Coming at weight lifting from the other side of the spectrum (overweight) I find it empowering to control my body and what happens to it. I can see where that could be very helpful to an anorexic/bulemic--unless they started doing hours of cardio to try and get even thinner.
Weight lifting, sculpting your body, is the way to go.
Weight lifting, sculpting your body, is the way to go.
mrstamiina
New member
Pamela said:
ED??????
ED = Eating Disorder
PhysicalGirl
Banned
She seems like se wants to look like one of those bone thin supermodels. She need to stop looking at those fashion magazines. If she burns enough muscle off she will get down to 110. She will look malnurished and sick.
She has been brainwashed by the media. Tell her that those models doont even look like that in person. I've seen them in person and those pictures are altered to hide any flaws like cheese and any fat that they may not want to show.
First she needs therapy.........
She has been brainwashed by the media. Tell her that those models doont even look like that in person. I've seen them in person and those pictures are altered to hide any flaws like cheese and any fat that they may not want to show.
First she needs therapy.........
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