No sex....some advice please

[musclemom]

IN ABSOLUTELY NO WAY SHOULD YOU FOLLOW THIS ADVICE!!! For real, this is TERRIBLE advice. This type of approach is the root of all the issues we men have with American women - the spoiled little princess attitude.

What MM is saying is simply this - "your girl is upset for whatever reason - reward her for being upset and not communicating that in a mature, adult manner". It's ridiculous, nonsensical and quite amateurish as well.

Okay, Killah, I'll have you know my husband of 12+ years is SAYING THIS right behind me ...

You've been married ummm, how long?

 

[Wulfgar]

Thanks for all the advice. I've tried bringing it up before but she gets defensive and asks is that all I care about. I will give it another shot and ease into it.

I know everyone has heard this a million times but I know shes not cheating on me. I just want to try and figure this out before it goes on too long. I love her but for a long term (which I know she wants) I don't know if I can handle it.

I try no to resent her or get angry but sometimes its hard b/c I really just don't understand. I will let you all know how it goes. Thanks again!

De"Nile" is a river in Egypt

like I said..watch your ass bro...

 

[musclemom]

IN ABSOLUTELY NO WAY SHOULD YOU FOLLOW THIS ADVICE!!! For real, this is TERRIBLE advice. This type of approach is the root of all the issues we men have with American women - the spoiled little princess attitude.

What MM is saying is simply this - "your girl is upset for whatever reason - reward her for being upset and not communicating that in a mature, adult manner". It's ridiculous, nonsensical and quite amateurish as well.

Most of the time a woman gives you the silent treatment is because she's said the same thing, OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN, and is never heard, silence speaks louder than words sometimes.

A relationship takes work, it's not necessarily easy, but both parties have to communicate and contribute.

You know what, when you've been married 12 years, you tell me how to work it, okay?

 

[SheDragon]

Most of the time a woman gives you the silent treatment is because she's said the same thing, OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN, and is never heard, silence speaks louder than words sometimes.

A relationship takes work, it's not necessarily easy, but both parties have to communicate and contribute.

You know what, when you've been married 12 years, you tell me how to work it, okay?

you go mom! =)

 

[KillahBee]

Okay, Killah, I'll have you know my husband of 12+ years is SAYING THIS right behind me ...

You've been married ummm, how long?

a) marriage is something you could not PAY ME to take part in right now. NO WAY. so, that point is useless

b) if your husband acts that way, then he is not a secure person.

 

[musclemom]

a) marriage is something you could not PAY ME to take part in right now. NO WAY. so, that point is useless

b) if your husband acts that way, then he is not a secure person.

a) Frankly, your decision to remain a single person does nothing but improve nationwide divorce statistics, so I applaud you.

b) Shouldn't judge other's by yourself Killah my husband is one of the few men I know that has his head screwed on straight. The whole world can be blowing the fuck up, but the ONE thing we both KNOW can depend on and trust is each other.

And for the record, I don't give him the silent treatment when I'm angry, I have NEVER used sex as a bargaining chip, I've never used manipulation, and we haven't had an argument in years.

My husband is also secure enough to be married to a woman like me, and it takes ONE hell of a man to be married to a high rollin' bitch like me, hon, I don't take shit from nobody, I think you know that by now.

 

[BBBBig Phenom]

This happened to two of my really good friends....They both found out she was fucking other people and not just one guy....They each went to an online service where you can pay like $20 bucks and find out anyone's # either land line or cell phone...They looked at their girls cell phone bills and found guys they were calling....Not saying she is...but,,,keep all options open.

 

[Wulfgar]

I sense a disturbance in the force

 

[Sassy69]

Thanks for all the advice. I've tried bringing it up before but she gets defensive and asks is that all I care about. I will give it another shot and ease into it.

I know everyone has heard this a million times but I know shes not cheating on me. I just want to try and figure this out before it goes on too long. I love her but for a long term (which I know she wants) I don't know if I can handle it.

I try no to resent her or get angry but sometimes its hard b/c I really just don't understand. I will let you all know how it goes. Thanks again!

In response to the "Is that all you care about..." thing --- coming from a guy it probably does sound a bit like a guy "I need to get laid" thing, but I think its valid to say straight up that sex is a critical part of a healthy relationahip - its more than just "sex" - its an integral component of that close, trusting and sharing thing called "love".

Back to the question - does she acknowledge that she's not been interested for a long time and does she feel like anythign is missing from the relationship or is there something else / different that she wants? Its ok for a while, but several months makes you start to miss that component of the relationship. You aren't accusing her or attacking her - but rather concerned about it, wantn to make sure you aren't slacking on something or is there somethign that you can help fix? If not, does she think its possible there might be a medical reason & is she interested in at least getting that checked out to eliminate it from the equation?

(Why do I keep feeling like Chesty's recent situation is creeping in here....?)

At the end of the day - whatever is the reason or whatever - you ask because you are in a close, committed relationship & if you can't talk about the things that concern you openly, trustingly and with nothing but best of intentions, does she think that's "ok"? That communication thing is almost literally the most important component of the relationship. Without it you can't deal w/ situations like this.

 

[Gymgurl]

My husband is also secure enough to be married to a woman like me, and it takes ONE hell of a man to be married to a high rollin' bitch like me, hon, I don't take shit from nobody, I think you know that by now.[/QUOTE]



This says it all......