Let me get this straight right now about my wife and I

[Buddy_Christ]

I write here my feelings at the moment. I am not looking for approval nor dissapproval. But if someone writes a response that is well thought out and articulated and it makes sense I will consider it. But what I won't consider is self-rightousness, arrogance, name calling, ASS U Mptions and more.

Take my posts read and reply, but do not think for one second that you can presume to know me well enough as to know whether I degrade women, hate them, am psycho, control freak, OCD or what ever. I have my isssues and I am working on them with the counselor just as the wife is working on hers.

We both stand to gain a lot and lose a lot that is why we are in counseling.

Chesty, you're posting some very intimate details of your life on the internet for anyone with a computer and an ISP to read and respond to. you have to expect that people are going to give you responses that you do not like. people are going to ASS-u-ME certain things and post them, whether you like it or not. you're going to be accused of being all the things you listed above and probably more. if you are going to go and publicly discuss your private life like this, expect to hear a lot of things you don't want to hear. expect your comments to be twisted around and pointed back at you in ways that you do not like. it's going to happen whether you want it to or not.

i have been in some highly emotional, highly personal situations where i couldn't make up my mind from one minute to the next. i understand those feelings. some other people will not or can not though. if you're opening up like you have been, people are going to respond how they want. they may agree with you or disagree with you.

you need someone to vent to, and that's where EF has come into play in all of this. sometimes just venting can make you feel a bit better, even if it's only for a moment. i'm not telling you to stop posting. if you want to continue to post these details of your life, that is your choice. venting can be a good thing. however, don't start telling others not to make what you consider to be negative responses or comments. everyone has a different point of view. if you are going to expose these personal issues, prepare to hear things you do not want to hear. you can ask people not to, but you can not demand that they not make those comments.

when i went through the roughest emotional period of my life, i had a handful of friends i could confide in and discuss things with. out of all of them, however, one was more than willing to say exactly what he thought, whether it pissed me off or not. some of the things he said to me absolutely made my blood boil, while the few others would always agree with me on everything. i talked to the one friend that would disagree with me more than anyone else, because his point of view was a fresh perspective that i had not even thought of. there were some apologies between us, me for flipping out and storming off, and him for phrasing things wrong occasionally, but that's what happens. he's still a very close friend of mine and always will be.

Chesty, i do wish you the best in this situation. just keep in mind that not everyone is going to agree with you and your decisions in this situation.

 

[bran987]

Yes.


Also, just as a side note and it's not meant to make light of your feelings but as soon as you find someone else that is receiving and worthy of your love - you will lose all/ most love like feelings for your wife and you will see everything much clearer.

yeah.. and as another side note.. the more you tell someone they aren't allowed to see another person.. the more they want to.. it's how humans are built with the whole grass is greener thing

 

[Ulcasterdropout]

Did I read in another thread that you had other wife(s) cheat on you?
Are you never home or something?
How ever it turns out, together or separated, I hope you two can still keep a stable environment for those kids.
Best of luck!

 

[gotmilk]

Yes.


Also, just as a side note and it's not meant to make light of your feelings but as soon as you find someone else that is receiving and worthy of your love - you will lose all/ most love like feelings for your wife and you will see everything much clearer.

yEAH....but $20 per session is not exactly grand theft larceny....and she sounds like a Sally Jesse Rapael wannabe....

 

[velvett]

yEAH....but $20 per session is not exactly grand theft larceny....and she sounds like a Sally Jesse Rapael wannabe....

Well, ok got me there.



Yet back to the wife.

Why would you want to be with something that makes living your life so completely unbearable and utterly miserable?

That's not love.

 

[gotmilk]

Well, ok got me there.



Yet back to the wife.

Why would you want to be with something that makes living your life so completely unbearable and utterly miserable?

That's not love.

Never in a million years. I almost fell into that trap once with my ex in college. WOW was I blind and yet I was so sure she was the one

 

[Robert Jan]

If the counsellor is through church she will be biased against a divorce. Then again you are Christian too so maybe you agree

 

[velvett]

If the counsellor is through church she will be biased against a divorce. Then again you are Christian too so maybe you agree

You really are sharp - I really like that about you.

 

[Robert Jan]

I have some doubt if you are being sarcastic because it was a bit obvious what i stated. But I'll guess you aren't so thank you.

 

[velvett]

I have some doubt if you are being sarcastic because it was a bit obvious what i stated. But I'll guess you aren't so thank you.

I was not being sarcastic - I'm very fond your posts.