Give me your opinion on this situation PLEASE?

[Sub-Zero]

I know it isnt easy Biteme and I am NOT jumping on your case. I would never do that.

I agree with Mr Plunkey - raising a teenager is not an easy thing. Add all this other "noise" into the mix and it makes you want to jump out of a window.

Pick and choose your battles, but be consistent and firm. The child is screaming for someone to set boundaries. At first they will sooooooo resist. But once you do and stick to it, they will be sooooooo much happier... Think about it. It will be one less decision that they have to make. They are already bombarded with so much bullshit.

I am outta here for the next few days.

You be well and think about what Mr Plunkey and I said.

I dont have the answers darlin, but I can see when a child is playing both parents. Once you've accepted this you will be better able to do all that needs be done.

lol

 

[wootoom]

I think you should bring them both to the track to watch daddy race against longhorn.

lol i agree

 

[HiDnGoD]

Sub's right on the smoking thing. Smoking is bad, but raising her is far more important.
Like BM said, pick & choose your battles. In this case, just pick the kid up. If she's tanning, she obviously doesn't want the quality time with Mom, & you can't force that issue. Be the bigger person & pick her up. Even if she's a rebellious little B***h right now, she still see's what's going on, & will remember.
Fight when it's important & let it slide when it's not.

 

[HiDnGoD]

Pick and choose your battles, but be consistent and firm. The child is screaming for someone to set boundaries. At first they will sooooooo resist. But once you do and stick to it, they will be sooooooo much happier... Think about it.

So true. I (we) let my daughter kinda swing free, 'cause the psych's said she would be traumatized if we were too tough on her. (She had/has serious issues)
She's growing up well now, but it woulda been easier & more of a sure thing, if we'd been tougher.

 

[biteme]

So true. I (we) let my daughter kinda swing free, 'cause the psych's said she would be traumatized if we were too tough on her. (She had/has serious issues)
She's growing up well now, but it woulda been easier & more of a sure thing, if we'd been tougher.

My child is not screaming to have boundaries set and neither was I at her age. I just wanted to be left the fuck alone. But, I can't leave her alone.

 

[HiDnGoD]

My child is not screaming to have boundaries set and neither was I at her age. I just wanted to be left the fuck alone. But, I can't leave her alone.

She doesn't consciously want boundaries. Like you at that age, she abhors them. But, subconsciously, she NEEDS your boundaries, because they will reflect your love & attention.
Inattention & lack of boundaries (because she sure as hell won't take instructional guidance) will do more damage than any conflict arising from your boundaries.

 

[biteme]

She doesn't consciously want boundaries. Like you at that age, she abhors them. But, subconsciously, she NEEDS your boundaries, because they will reflect your love & attention.
Inattention & lack of boundaries (because she sure as hell won't take instructional guidance) will do more damage than any conflict arising from your boundaries.

Thanks, and I agree. You have always been helpful.