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Ever call your gf/bf something during sex and get a "WTF" look, or

H_T_

Da Pope
Platinum
maybe even get laughed at?? you know, you are in the heat of passion and you let go with a "chicken tits" or "mi'lady" ? kind of like pulling the emergency brake......
 
lol.and I always have a storry to.
one time I was drunk as fuck.I was haveing a dream about fucken this girl dont know who she realy was but in the dream her name was jamy.so I am haveing this grate dream and it is starting to FEAL so real.well come to find out my girl "you know who" was horny so she was blowing me to get me hard.then she started to ride me.lol as she was doing this I said the girls name."ooooo jamy"well needless to say I got bitch slaped big time.then she fliped out for like 10 minets.I was like what what the fuck happend.she told me and I was like well it ant my falt.
best part is in the end I still got some.lol
 
HumanTarget said:
maybe even get laughed at?? you know, you are in the heat of passion and you let go with a "chicken tits" or "mi'lady" ? kind of like pulling the emergency brake......
Yeah E brake fer sure I got a ''who you callen fat bitch'' once
 
needtogetas said:
lol.and I always have a storry to.
one time I was drunk as fuck.I was haveing a dream about fucken this girl dont know who she realy was but in the dream her name was jamy.so I am haveing this grate dream and it is starting to FEAL so real.well come to find out my girl "you know who" was horny so she was blowing me to get me hard.then she started to ride me.lol as she was doing this I said the girls name."ooooo jamy"well needless to say I got bitch slaped big time.then she fliped out for like 10 minets.I was like what what the fuck happend.she told me and I was like well it ant my falt.
best part is in the end I still got some.lol
lmao. Needto pwned by a wet dream. what did the 5 fingers say to the face?
 
Kakdiesel said:
"fuck yeah mom. fuck yeah"


I always wanted to yell something outragous like that. Maybe something like "oh yah, just like your sister" or "this is going to look great on the net"
 
I had a girl get mad at me once while she was riding for simply saying "Fuck me."

Imagine her anger when I mentioned that people who don't like the F word probably shouldn't do it on the second date. :chomp:
 
sfmonster said:
I always wanted to yell something outragous like that. Maybe something like "oh yah, just like your sister" or "this is going to look great on the net"


"Baby, I havent fucked something this tight since jail"
 
there was a time when calling a girl bitch during sex wasn't always acceptable. i did it one time and was met with a "What? ----What did you just call me?" oh, man....
 
Kakdiesel said:
"Baby, I havent fucked something this tight since jail"


I am making the promise now that will be used in the near future.
 
HumanTarget said:
there was a time when calling a girl bitch during sex wasn't always acceptable. i did it one time and was met with a "What? ----What did you just call me?" oh, man....

my friend from college was on spring break and his mission: Fuck his first black girl.

He found one and she was talking shit in bed and was like, "Hale yeah..mmm..damn you a nasty nigga..." in a sexy sex voice I guess.

lol because he's a redneck, he got pissed and the only reason he wanted to have sex with a black girl was just as kinda like a joke and he was like, "WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU CALLING A NI**ER!"

he was drunk and got super redneck country pissed. and if you know what I'm talking about, it aint pretty.
 
Man after sex I called my girlfriend somene elses name while i was passing out and dreaming, wow its like an atomic bomb that exploded. I dont know why either, don't know where the name came from cause I dont even remember dreaming about anyone with that name.
 
ya I was seeing this girl, we get to fucking after a long night of drinking,shit gets hot and heavy,I call her Lisa(my ex's name) and bite her nipple, she started to cry then hoofed me in the stomach knocked me off the bed,in the morning bitch acted like nothing happened,it was fucked. she was nuts.

I think that was like a year and a half ago lol
 
i love doing the ole' "cross-examination". asking her questions during some intense thrusts. never know what you might find out after administering the ole' "truth serum".
 
Kakdiesel said:
friggin cambodians...

yup, thats the phras I used during sex. it didn't go over too well.
"oh YEAH, YEAH!!! FUCKING CAMBODIANS!!! YES!!!!!!!!!!"

*silence*

:(
 
stilleto said:
yup, thats the phras I used during sex. it didn't go over too well.
"oh YEAH, YEAH!!! FUCKING CAMBODIANS!!! YES!!!!!!!!!!"

*silence*

:(
..............you're such a frickin' nerd sometimes.
 
silverbackn said:
HT, I couldn't come on your thread and let you down, I did make it up, the bar was set too high to tell the truth
doesn't matter. great timing, good delivery.
 
HumanTarget said:
call your man a different name next time. then you will have a story to tell. call him HT.


the worst that I've said is "lele majko" (somthing like "oh, mama") and I was the one that was like wtf not him.
 
foreigngirl said:
the worst that I've said is "lele majko" (somthing like "oh, mama") and I was the one that was like wtf not him.
i usually nut instantly when a woman calls me Daddy.......
 
Kakdiesel said:
First:

1) thats what HT asked to begin with.
2) a 1976 porno movie called. said they want their sex talk back.
fukcing lmao. i've tried thrice to give you K today for the zingers.
 
foreigngirl said:
dang, a guy says that once and right away :rolleyes: happens.

my FAVORITE sex talk has to be from the movie MALLRATS when Affleck's character is caught on film by the teenage girl.


*slaps her ass from behind*
"Call me Joey. Call me Donny. Damn, just Please Don't Go Girl..."

fuggin classic.
 
Kakdiesel said:
i've been trying to contribute to threads to get them to win thread of the week.
i appreciate the lobbying.

FG- i cannot help the feelings i awaken in these ladies.
 
foreigngirl said:
have those ladies told you something that had you thinking WTF?
i'm usually too busy looking at myself in the mirror and flexing to hear anything.
 
HumanTarget said:
that's asking a lot of me.

oh yeah. thats right. i forgot.
:)
its ok,i'm ver content in my nerdiness. i don't need validation.

One time i was going at it like a porn star though, and something just snapped and I yelled out "CATCH THE FRIGGIN' MAKO MATEY. REEL IT IN. REEL IT IN!!! THATS RIGHT. NOW YOU GOT THE MUTHA!"

That was the end of that sexcapade. :(
 
stilleto said:
oh yeah. thats right. i forgot.
:)
its ok,i'm ver content in my nerdiness. i don't need validation.

One time i was going at it like a porn star though, and something just snapped and I yelled out "CATCH THE FRIGGIN' MAKO MATEY. REEL IT IN. REEL IT IN!!! THATS RIGHT. NOW YOU GOT THE MUTHA!"

That was the end of that sexcapade. :(
you think the Croc Hunter is sexy?
 
HumanTarget said:
you think the Croc Hunter is sexy?

crok hunter??
i was fishing for SHARK, dork! it was part of my sexual fantasy at the time, but my lame partner didn't get it.
so much for role playing. :rolleyes:
 
stilleto said:
crok hunter??
i was fishing for SHARK, dork! it was part of my sexual fantasy at the time, but my lame partner didn't get it.
so much for role playing. :rolleyes:
you just made me give you one of those looks. but, um, wow. now i kinda want to have sex. deep sea fishing is so hot. grab hold of my ROD, baby. you wanna be my first MATE? it's so loaded with innuendo!
 
HumanTarget said:
you just made me give you one of those looks. but, um, wow. now i kinda want to have sex. deep sea fishing is so hot. grab hold of my ROD, baby. you wanna be my first MATE? it's so loaded with innuendo!

THATS what I'm saying, yo!
and how about this: "Get back, i'm reelin' her in!! Get the chum, get the CHUM!!!!!"
thats so hot.
 
stilleto said:
THATS what I'm saying, yo!
and how about this: "Get back, i'm reelin' her in!! Get the chum, get the CHUM!!!!!"
thats so hot.
chum = not so hot. hand me that POLE. keep that line TIGHT. don't JERK on it too hard! ok, can we wear those Gorton's fisherman rain slickers?
 
HumanTarget said:
chum = not so hot. hand me that POLE. keep that line TIGHT. don't JERK on it too hard! ok, can we wear those Gorton's fisherman rain slickers?

OH...yeah! i see what you're saying!!!
how about this: in the middle of really going out it, pounding away, i yelled out "DAMMIT I GOT A KNOT IN MY LINE!!! WHO THE HELL CAST THIS???"
It was good. you know, that hot, angry fisherman sex.
 
stilleto said:
OH...yeah! i see what you're saying!!!
how about this: in the middle of really going out it, pounding away, i yelled out "DAMMIT I GOT A KNOT IN MY LINE!!! WHO THE HELL CAST THIS???"
It was good. you know, that hot, angry fisherman sex.
the only problem is my other hobby. and that hobby is: keeping sharp things away from my penis.
 
HumanTarget said:
the only problem is my other hobby. and that hobby is: keeping sharp things away from my penis.

ROTFLMAO.
thats a good hobby.

well, another time, i had hooked up with this total hottie. so you know, we're going at it, hot and heavy. I want to stir things up a bit, so i smacked that ass and said, "Didn't i tell you i wanted extra starch, biotch???"
 
stilleto said:
ROTFLMAO.
thats a good hobby.

well, another time, i had hooked up with this total hottie. so you know, we're going at it, hot and heavy. I want to stir things up a bit, so i smacked that ass and said, "Didn't i tell you i wanted extra starch, biotch???"
was it Kakdiesel? cuz you know how Asians & laundry go hand in hand. but Kak doesn't understand this stereotype. sheltered.....
 
HumanTarget said:
was it Kakdiesel? cuz you know how Asians & laundry go hand in hand. but Kak doesn't understand this stereotype. sheltered.....

yes. it was the kak boy. except when i yell at him, i put on a fake chinese accent, knowing he's not chinese. just to fuck with him, you know.

when i have him bent over a table, sometimes I grab his ears and say "squeel like a murmaid. c'mon, lemme hear you squeel like a murmaid. do it. do it!!!!"

i think i have a little sea creature fetish, huh?
btw, this has TOTW written all over it.
 
stilleto said:
yes. it was the kak boy. except when i yell at him, i put on a fake chinese accent, knowing he's not chinese. just to fuck with him, you know.

when i have him bent over a table, sometimes I grab his ears and say "squeel like a murmaid. c'mon, lemme hear you squeel like a murmaid. do it. do it!!!!"

i think i have a little sea creature fetish, huh?
btw, this has TOTW written all over it.
what aboot my Plumper thread? i thought my Monkey/Zombie Butler one was the ultimate in thought provocation, but the "Machine" snubbed me.
and please, it's Asian american.....
 
HumanTarget said:
what aboot my Plumper thread? i thought my Monkey/Zombie Butler one was the ultimate in thought provocation, but the "Machine" snubbed me.
and please, it's Asian american.....


no no- when i'm doing him, i put on a chinese accent, none of this watered down 'asian american' crap.
when i climax, i yell out 'CHOPSTIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICKS'.
 
stilleto said:
no no- when i'm doing him, i put on a chinese accent, none of this watered down 'asian american' crap.
when i climax, i yell out 'CHOPSTIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICKS'.
i had my Peyronies Disease cured with a chopstick.........
 
HumanTarget said:
maybe even get laughed at?? you know, you are in the heat of passion and you let go with a "chicken tits" or "mi'lady" ? kind of like pulling the emergency brake......
Yes ... I once called my boyfriend by my husband's name.

Not only did I get the WTF look, he was also mortally offended ...

I was like, HEY, it could have been worse, could have been in the other direction :rolleyes:
 
yea i called some girl i was porking another name. it happen to be the name of her best friend, which i had porked before.

stupid bitch goes off and acts all shitty. i knew right then that this bitch was not for me. she ruined the fucking mood for some dumb shit.
 
I've never been much for saying names in bed. Seems cheesy to me. I'd rather fold them in half and and grunt at them.

By the way...the girl I previously mentioned actually nearly died on me TWICE during sex...not that I was doing that well, mind you. I'll tell you guys that story some other time.

The most pissed off I've ever gotten a girl was the same girl I mentioned before. She had this huge insecurity about her feet, and I threatened to blow a load on them in mid-stroke.
 
Not so much names for her. I once did refer to her butt as her "arse" in a tasteless context and she kinda fell apart.
 
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