Virginity -religion aside

[p0ink]

I don't care about being a virgin but I would advise you to not marry somebody you haven't had sex with. Even with your beliefs, physical compatibility is a HUGE part of any relationship even if you have been suppressing it for many years. It's a matter possibly for you of finding someone you feel you could spend your life with and then finding out if the emotional/spiritual compatibility is the same as the physical - then you have your ideal woman. You get married and have that relationship and then find out you don't like them physically? You're screwed and you'll be more tempted to get into other relationships or resent the relationship and have a dysfunctional family.

Good luck finding ANY woman in their 20's who is a virgin though. That's got to be maybe 1% of the population unless they are highly religious or highly unattractive.

yeah, most girls today under the age of 25 have only one goal in life - being in Girls Gone Wild.

 

[Bikini Mod]

yeah, most girls today under the age of 25 have only one goal in life - being in Girls Gone Wild.

Please tell me that you are exaggerating.

Seriously, at what number does a male or female (dont give me this double standard bullshit because believe it or not there are places where this does NOT apply) become "a slut"?

I have NEVER cared how many sexual partners a man has had before he met me. Matter of fact it creeped me out if he wasnt fairly well experienced as I never found young men to be attractive.

"I dont care that I am not your first. All I care about is that I am your last."

Works both ways for my husband and me.

 

[p0ink]

Please tell me that you are exaggerating.

Seriously, at what number does a male or female (dont give me this double standard bullshit because believe it or not there are places where this does NOT apply) become "a slut"?

I have NEVER cared how many sexual partners a man has had before he met me. Matter of fact it creeped me out if he wasnt fairly well experienced as I never found young men to be attractive.

"I dont care that I am not your first. All I care about is that I am your last."

Works both ways for my husband and me.

so you're telling me most girls dont want to be in Girls Gone Wild? you obviously havent been out on the campus bar scene.

it's quite disturbing.

in fact, i take that back. it's fucking amazing. why? because i am amazed that some girl would do some pretty outlandish and embarrassing things that could posibbly kill a career before it even started, just so they can get attention from random guys or a free t-shirt from some pervert with a camera.

call me sexist, but girls are pretty stupid sometimes.

 

[Bikini Mod]

so you're telling me most girls dont want to be in Girls Gone Wild? you obviously havent been out on the campus bar scene.

it's quite disturbing.

in fact, i take that back. it's fucking amazing. why? because i am amazed that some girl would do some pretty outlandish and embarrassing things that could posibbly kill a career before it even started, just so they can get attention from random guys or a free t-shirt from some pervert with a camera.

call me sexist, but girls are pretty stupid sometimes.

*gasp*

Perhaps I have been sheltered but other than raising my kids then busting my ass struggling to support us, then trying to maintain some sort of life during the nightmare - I was not aware.

I am not being glib.

You wonder why I am so frightened for my own daughters? I can see two of them headed right down this path: my oldest and the third. Both are stunningly beautiful (especially my third) and are making VERY bad decisions with NO good role model whatsoever and very little supervisions essentially raising themselves.

I honestly thought this was some sort of exaggeration. I didnt know that MANY young women actually behaved this way as if it was "no big deal".

But I supposed being in the position I am in currently, if I think about it too much then I will lose what little sanity I have left.

 

[healother]

Are you sure your keeping your virginity by choice? If you have the will power to turn down hot ass then more power to ya brother.

I havent turned down hot ass yet, just a couple average girls with ugly personalities. (yes a chick has tried coming onto me before)
its tough to say whether i'd crack under temptation or not with a hottie, because i am fairly shy person so i dont really get to know hot women well that often, and i've never had a g/f yet.

but i'd like to believe im doing this by choice.

bro do what YOU FEEL AND NOBODY ELSE cause thats whats going to matter. most guys on here are going to tell you to get laid, get pussy your a fag, etc etc.... dont listen to them just do what you feel you should. if you find someone speacial and you feel you should then go for it. if you want to save it and give it to "the one" then do that just dont be pressured into doing something you will regret cause you didnt make the decision and did it because everyone else told you to.

your the one that will have to live with the decision not them.

yeah, it sucks hanging around on a board where every is obsessed with pussy and im trying to stay a virgin. i feel like it creates a rift between me and the board members (and my friends in real life who think im crazy to stay virgin, etc) but staying true to myself is more important. i just wish people on boards like these werent just constantly telling me to give it up, etc.

get into a relationship with a woman you care about and for gods sake.....HAVE SEX WITH HER!! If it doesnt' work out.....at least you come away BETTER than if you hadn't been with her at all. This is called an ADULT relationship. Unfortunately too many of us have forgotten that because of MTV inspired dating habits. I don't have sex with alot of women........every now and then when the opportunity presents itself and the urge is there, I'll go ahead and have sex with someone I might not have the day before. But it's always' unfullfilling. Bro.....I understand you're waiting for your soulmate......but if you don't get into relationships you'll not recognize her when she shows up. Relationships, as painful as they can be.....are stepping stones. After each relationship you sit back and analyze why you got in the relationship in the first place.....why it went wrong, and what should you look for in the future. You can't know what you want out of a woman if you wait. Here's what's going to happen to you bro.....you're going to fall for the first virgin you meat.....you'll get married on the precept of both of you being virgins.....yeah!! we're pure in the eyes of GOD!!! 5 years later the two of you will have grown so far apart that you can't stand the site of her. Everyone keeps growing in life......if you meet someone at the bottom of the mountain, there's too long a way to go to the top......and the two of you will most likely not take the same path and "grow together". If you meet at the top.....both of you are pretty much set in your ways and then life will be that much sweeter. Look at it this way......every relationship is another whittle off the carving......after a while.....you have the whole sculpture and you know precisely that what you are looking for. Only life experience can guide you on this. And that's what religion is trying to take away from you......your own life path......the life experiences that shape who and what we are. Life is about your own spiritual journey......not what someone else tells you.....and certainly not some book written 2006 years ago.

hold the phone here, isnt it possible to be in a relationship with a woman without having sex? Isnt it possible to gain relationship experience without having sex?

WTF? for real...?did u ever spank the monkey? I gave you so many reasons..see boob threads and such..

for real
and yeah, i spank the monkey.

years from now you'll look back on this and wonder why the hell you didn't get some teenage ass while it was still on the menu. And college ass too, it's all slipping by you as you waste your life on EF. Tight little booties start to sag as they hit their late 20's and by the time you finally get a taste of it those once perky teenage titties will be looking all National Geographic.

but on the plus side you probably won't ever need a doc to burn anything off your mint condition pee-pee, so I say stay home and try to clock up another thousand posts

thats the one thing, i know all the young tight asses are walking away, and the longer i wait the less the chance i will get of tapping it, so you better believe that pisses me off.

oh, and if i ever have sex before marriage, believe me im going to wrap it, get her tested, take precautions, etc. there is no f***in way im going to end up with a childsupport check or an STD.

sex is overrated, but with that, so is saving it when you feel like you wanna lose it.
if you have found someone u wanan do it with, do it. just be safe and have fun, and dont expect too much out of it.
you can have sex without being a whore and being irresponsible

i hear you, thanks for the shared words.

You have to do what pleases you and not simply go along with something because others think it is cool whether we are talking having sex or abstinence. It is YOUR body afterall. You should share it with whomever you deem worthy. Having said that, I honestly dont get what is "so cool" about only ever having been intimate with one person your whole life. I mean if both peeps are happy with that = GREAT. But there is a wholelotta sex to be had between one and one hundred partners. Do you get what I am saying?

No need to go to extremes.

IMHO sex is a GIFT to be shared between two mutually consenting adults.

i dont understand what is so cool about virginity either. thats why i made this thread. the reason i dont have sex is primarily due to religion, but i just figured id throw other ideas out there, like the idea of being pure and stuff like that.

At some point it is respected, at another point it just makes people feel weird and creepy. Imagine a chick in her mid 20s who has slept with 2-3 dudes, then meets you. You would make her feel like a slut for one, and she'd be put into the role of teacher, which a lot of women don't like. The man should be the take charge and dominant one in bed, but how would you be able to do that with no experience is what she is thinking.

All religious reasons aside, I feel you should just do what feels right. If you start dating a woman seriously and exclusively, I would think you'd feel some desire, or pressure, or both to have sex with her after a few months at the most. If it felt right, go for it, no need to hold out. You never know, one girl you date may end up being your wife.

i have no problem trying to be the dominant one, but i hate being corrected. like this one time where i didnt know how to swing dance, but i ran out on the floor anyone and picked a random chick and threw her around a little. she got pissed and then taught me some moves off to the side afterwards, LOL. It was weird.
If I do have sex before marriage, I think it would do it more than to just find who might be a good wife. I'd probably do it if I thought the opportunity was worth it, yes if there was a really hot chick, i might do it, IF I knew she was clean and that it'd be safe. I wouldnt restrict it to just women i was in a long term relationship with. but as of now i dont believe that decision is mine to make.

That's like the second time I've heard that. Wtf does it even mean! lol


Anywho, I don't rate a person on how many they had sex with, to do so is close minded I think. I rate them on how skanky the person they had sex with. Sex is a pleasureable experience and is nothing at all sacred, least to me. Other people see it as some Holy thing they need to keep only for certain people. If you see it like that, do it.

If you're holding onto it because you think you would be a loser after falling off your V-wagon at 22, then that is crazy, man. Sex is great, I was a virgin till 19, and married the girl I had sex with. She didn't like having to be the one I learned with. I imagine a woman at 25-26 defintly will not like it.

virgins learning it together seems like the best option (if i were to remain a virgin til marriage)

thats a bunch of bullshit..........

no offense...

I passed that point and am VERY happy I only made a handfull of mistakes

in what way is it BS?

I tend to agree that he is making too much out of this. The Catholic priest example is a good one. Suppressing one's sexually is unnatural and very emotionally healthy in the long run. Sooner or later everyone has to have an outlet for that pent up sexual energy and fustration.

dont worry, im not going to start having sex with school children, lol

the ONLY thing I am worried about is that there is hardly any virgin girls left from age, lets say 18 and up (I know they start having sex way before that)

theres gotta be some other christian girls like me out there. but yeah, it does suck saving it when no one else does.

Just remember, most people who brag about banging chicks left and right are usually full of shit and/or have more std's than I have fingers.

You are trying to allow people to influence you. That's the worst mistake you can make. Let them live their lives their way and you live your your way.

Growing up I use to try to be like other people, only to find out that they are more fucked up and have more problems than I did. Now I couldn't be happier living for myself and being who I am.

yeah, i never understood the whole unsafe sex thing. if i were to fool around, id at least do it safely.

and asking for advice on boards is stupid im sure. i have no idea why i keep on doing it.

lol at fg not getting the 40YOV reference. ah, it could happen. don't mind me.

but fyxgel, i just don't think your reasons are built on foundations of air.

i can understand being a person of extremes...but the way you look at this is odd. for example, it doesn't make any sense to me to ask what you gain by being with just 2 women, for example. obviously, you're gaining the chance to be with 2 people that you hopefully care about, or even love. or at the least, enjoy.

and this notion of holding onto something just to be unique and different...is extremely dubious. i can understand wanting to be different, but only in a "better" way. in others ways, i want to be the same and feel like i belong to the rest of the world. being different in a way that doesn't help you or make you better, but denies you a lot of fun or potential happiness, that isn't a good kind of different.

so you have to determine if it really is good for you, or if it makes you a person of higher character. maybe it does. but that's tricky, as it's pretty much all in your mind.

you resonded seriously to one of my threads! yay!
about the only sharing it with a few people, im just saying that sex could probably be fun if it was shared with more than just 2-3 people. If I was not abiding by the bible, i wouldnt limit sex to just women i loved. pleasure is important too!

there are some other virgins out there or people who believe in sex being sacred, i could 'belong' with that group of people if i remained a virgin. The point i was trying to make about virgins, is that there is definately some desire for them, since they are rare. some women want a virgin.

religion aside, i dont think being a virgin makes someone a higher character. but when you throw that whole religion thing in, yeah, virgins are considered more 'righteous'

If you find someone you really care for, someone you plan on spending your life with... nothing wrong with it. Marriage is a man made thing, Who says you have to appear before another mortal to vow oath to someone else. If you vow to be loyal to that person, your word is your word. I see you really put this on high standards, and for that I applaude you, (in a good way) I didn't lose my virginity until I was a 18 and it was after being with someone for a long time. Don't do it just to do it, but if indeed it does happen, don't think less of yourself for it. You can give yourself to someone without a paper saying so, as long as you are honest and truthful...

well in Christian circles, they believe its a God made thing. But this thread wasnt about religion, so i think the rest of the stuff you said makes sense from a secular standpoint!

I will reiterate my earlier sentiments. You have to do what feels right for you. You are NOT going to hell if you do not remain chaste until your wedding night. That is plain crazy. But if you feel THAT strongly about saving yourself for your wife then stick to it.

Also, I am pretty sure that you know of the concept of secondary virginity.... right?

Do you even believe in hell?

I have heard of secondary virginity, what about it?

Take it from an old married guy - you need to get as much of that stuff early on as you can digest.

I am not trying to say you should become a player or something but, though sex may get much better for woman as they get older, it goes down hill for men. You don't want to meet the girl of your dreams, marry her, and 7 years later start thinking what sex is like with someone else.

Get that figured out now......

ok... ive also heard its possible that people may think about what sex is like with someone else, BECAUSE theyve had sex with others. and that then they know what they are missing out on while just having sex with their wife.

so cant that logic go both ways?

and if i want to 'get it all out of my system now', whats to say im not going to want to 'get it all out of my system' again later? of course i wouldnt be able to, cuz id be married, and that may make it even more suckier!

I don't care about being a virgin but I would advise you to not marry somebody you haven't had sex with. Even with your beliefs, physical compatibility is a HUGE part of any relationship even if you have been suppressing it for many years. It's a matter possibly for you of finding someone you feel you could spend your life with and then finding out if the emotional/spiritual compatibility is the same as the physical - then you have your ideal woman. You get married and have that relationship and then find out you don't like them physically? You're screwed and you'll be more tempted to get into other relationships or resent the relationship and have a dysfunctional family.

Good luck finding ANY woman in their 20's who is a virgin though. That's got to be maybe 1% of the population unless they are highly religious or highly unattractive.

ok, is it possible to determine physical compatibility with someone without having sex with them? Some say it is, via communication and other physical contact. But of course some say it isnt. I'm curious what other EFers have to say about this as well.

Take it from someone who knows people of success
- you DO NOT 'need' to get as much of that stuff early on as you can digest.

the people of success I know both Professional and Spiritual live lives like you want to live HealOther.......

simple as this:

dont use people as an object for pleasure only
dont lie to them to get a pleasure
dont be "tricked" to living it up or you will be lived up......trust me........

so what do you mean by people of success? Those who are happy?

And what is wrong with living it up? Provided precautions are taken of course. I guess I know that many people are happy when their years were well spent. And I know there are many things that I wish I would have done differently in the past (things not related to sex).
I'm just hoping that sex doesnt become one of those things, that I wish I had more of. It is true that women only stay young for so long...

 

[UA_Iron]

You ultimately control your own destiny.

If you do happen to have sex with a couple chicks you're gonna regret not nailing more girls earlier on.

Then you actually have to talk to chicks, they have a lot of dumb stuff to say - and there you gotta be playing along with it, acting like you care...

 

[p0ink]

i wouldnt take dating / relationship advice from anyone on this board.

 

[Bikini Mod]

The "cool thing" about being a virgin (from my vantage point only) is that you are in total control of whom it is that you share that experience with, nothing more and nothing less.

As I stated before, how many sex partners my husband has had before me is of little consequence to me. (He has had hundreds if not more.) All I am concerned with is who his sex partner is from the time that we voluntarily decided to commit to one another, foresaking all others.

 

[bluepeter]

For crying out loud, at least fuck a chick in the ass. Save the pussy for the wedding night.

 

[alien amp pharm]

i wouldnt take dating / relationship advice from anyone on this board.

I was about to say I wonder how many people telling him to screw as many chicks as he can A. rarely get laid themselves but talk a big game or B. are STD ridden themself