2Shy
New member
It was a dark and stormy night. Suddenly a CLANG rang out!
Well, okay. It wasn't stormy. Just trying to set the mood.
A little after 7PM last night, I entered the inner sanctum of the Asylum. Cue Young Frankenstein music. Actually, there's nothing scary about Spatts' basement ... well except for the Devil Machine ... but a name like "The Asylum" screams for melodrama.
I say a little after 7PM because I was late! I'm normally a punctual person. It's been a couple years since I've driven to Spatts' area, though, and it took longer than I remembered. How embarrassing! Hannibal and Project were already there, and they had just finished up low box squats. I wish I hadn't missed those!
Oh, and before I go any further, Spatts please tell me that the huge stain I found on my shirt today was made by my dogs last night after I got home. I hope I didn't arrive at your place with dog snot greasing up my shirt.
Box Squats
So, the crew had just finished up and could devote full attention to helping me learn box squats. The first thing I learned is that I'm a mutant. I think Spatts rearranged the boxes 5 times before they could decide on a good height for me, and as it was they decided to leave them a little high.
Did you know you straddle the box on the point instead of a side? In all the videos I looked at, I never noticed that. Makes sense once you think about it. That's just one of the little things I noticed. Certainly, not the most important. Just goes to show how much easier it is to learn something from someone who knows what they're doing.
I have a real mental block when it comes to the box. For some reason it feels alien to sit back on the thing. I *think* I sit further back when it isn't there, but who knows. This was the second time I've tried them and I stunk! LOL Push out with your knees! Sit back, back, back. Stay tight, tight, tight. Use your hamstrings! Drive into the bar! Let's just say that if there was a mistake to be made, I'm pretty sure I made it. Heck, I probably invented a few! One time I just sat. BOOM! I know that's the idea, but I'd totally relaxed my lower half before I hit the box. I think that would be a huge owie without a box there.
Spatts noticed I was thrusting my hips way forward as I stood and pointed out that with a lot of weight, that could be injurious. Hannibal demonstrated how to drive your head back into the bar (is that the right term?) when you start back up. I knew I was supposed to do it, but I know I haven't been doing it and never quite got the idea before. Wouldn't have blamed him if he'd washed his hands of me. I hope he didn't, though! Project has lots of good vids from this. I think he's hoping to make a killing on blackmail payoffs.
Also realized why a good pair of shoes is necessary to the entire equation! Woke up this morning and have been practicing "box" squats on every low, sturdy object in the house. I think I need to stick to just the bar until I get my form perfected.
Not one of them pointed or even laughed. Or if they did, I didn't see them!
Good Mornings
Next were chain suspended arched back good mornings. I think that's what we were doing? I had to ask Spatts why we were starting these bent over. It helps build your strength and explosiveness and I totally forgot whether that was the concentric or the eccentric we were starting with. Hmmmm ... this might have been when Spatts mentioned my excessive hip thrust. Yeah, I think it was.
I've never done these before. They were kind of fun but I think I was forgetting to arch my back. GRRRR I know better than that! Do you ever want to do so well that instead you wind up screwing up everything? My last set of 3 (and I can't believe I forgot what the weight was since this was a PR for me!) I squatted up. I stopped then (probably should have tried one more but chickened out) and had the fun of watching the other three go for PRs. I think Spatts hit two (?) of them. You can learn a lot about how all of them stand back and just focus focus focus on the lift before they attempt it. I knew Spatts was going to try again because I saw that "look" in her eye. You have no idea how terrific it is to lift with someone who doesn't quit!
LOL She had to teach me how to rerack the bar in both exercises. Since I'm self-taught, I'd just been muddling through on my own. It's really simple once someone shows you.
Deadlifts
They wanted to make sure they helped me with everything I had questions about before the night was over, so I asked them to take a look at my deadlift form. Spatts actually said I had good form!!! Yes, there are things I need to work on. I could afford to stand closer to the bar than I was. She said I grip and rip like she does. I honestly don't think when I pull. I just concentrate on keeping my back arched and trying to keep my upper body pulling in sync with the push from my lower. So if I'm doing anything right, it's sheer luck! Hannibal noted that I tend to bend my arms at lockout, thus lifting the bar up when I don't have to. Never realized I was doing it!
Bench & JMs
They wanted to check out my bench technique even though this wasn't a bench night (I really appreciate that!). That reminded me to ask about JMs since I was having a hard time visualizing them. I told Spatts I had either been doing close grip benches or JMs for tris since I wasn't sure I was attempting the JMs correctly.
I need to remember to dig in my shoulder blades and spread my legs more so I can get a really good push with my bench. Spatts had me hold my arms in front of me and then flex my lats back. You save a good 4 or 5 inches on lockout that way.
A PL Bench is also different on where you hit in your body. I'd learned the BB method where the bar is closer to your chest. They press the bar more toward the feet so it lowers at the very bottom of your chest/top of upper abs. Again, this saves distance for lockout and is a heck of a lot easier on the shoulders.
I need to remember to keep my wrists in line with my elbows. I let my hands bend way back. Looks like I need to add in more grip work? I have carpal tunnel and know my wrists are weak.
Speaking of shoulders, Spatts had me try a nifty little movement with a plate to see whether I had rotator problems. She caught me using my traps to help lift it. When she had me try again using just the shoulder, I couldn't get it up all the way. Yep. Lousy rotators.
JMs were interesting. First, they told me everyone does them different. I don't' feel so bad about being confused now. They kept a wider grip than I would have expected on a tricep exercise. They suggested I might not want to bring the bar so low unless I want to lose some teeth once I add weight!
Accessory Work
I got to try a Glute/Ham machine (AKA Devil Machine) for the first time ever. Since these are rare in gyms, I'll tell you that the first challenge is getting on the darned thing. The next challenge is persevering with the movement once you've ripped your hamstrings from their moorings. Okay. They did laugh when I squeaked "I've got hamstrings!" and believe you me, my hamstrings were letting me know it! Well, being a weak BFB, I wound up doing partials on this more than the full ROM. They really were fun, despite the pain. Either that or I'm warped. Most likely both.
Also did pull-throughs and pull-down abs. Project and Spatts made me try the pull-throughs at the weight they were using and I did them! Hoody Hoo! I skipped the spread eagled situps since I suspect that I'd be starting at spread-eagled crunches Those look like something to make my DH help me with.
All-in-all I had a terrific night and felt more energized than I have in a long while post workout. I just hope I remember everything they tried to teach me.
And for anyone who wonders, Spatts is as gorgeous in person as she is in her avatars (and I don't even go for women!). She's muscular and feminine both and I still can't believe she weighs as much as she says she does. I weigh about 50 pounds more than her but I bet you could fit two Spatts into one pair of 2Shy sweats. Project has a face. I wasn't sure after seeing his avatar ... He's not as pale as some folks were teasing him about either. Apparently, he's the resident blackm--erm--photographer. Hannibal is one tall fellow, quiet and intense with an underlying sense of humor. The three of them together were terrific. They make a great trio with the right amount of encouragement and friendly competition. They really love what they're doing (sorry guys if "love" is too fru fru a word for you!). It was a privilege to meet and work with them.
I can't come close to thanking the Asylum enough for letting a rank beginner like me play with them. I wish I had knowledge I could share with them in turn, but alas, I don't. Sometimes you just have to accept a gift--and this was a truly awesome gift--with grace and simple thanks.
Now, I know I forgot things to include in my report, but for now, that's all the news that is the news. Besides, I see those nice young men coming to fit me in a new jacket. I hear straps are in this season ....
Well, okay. It wasn't stormy. Just trying to set the mood.
A little after 7PM last night, I entered the inner sanctum of the Asylum. Cue Young Frankenstein music. Actually, there's nothing scary about Spatts' basement ... well except for the Devil Machine ... but a name like "The Asylum" screams for melodrama.
I say a little after 7PM because I was late! I'm normally a punctual person. It's been a couple years since I've driven to Spatts' area, though, and it took longer than I remembered. How embarrassing! Hannibal and Project were already there, and they had just finished up low box squats. I wish I hadn't missed those!
Oh, and before I go any further, Spatts please tell me that the huge stain I found on my shirt today was made by my dogs last night after I got home. I hope I didn't arrive at your place with dog snot greasing up my shirt.
Box Squats
So, the crew had just finished up and could devote full attention to helping me learn box squats. The first thing I learned is that I'm a mutant. I think Spatts rearranged the boxes 5 times before they could decide on a good height for me, and as it was they decided to leave them a little high.
Did you know you straddle the box on the point instead of a side? In all the videos I looked at, I never noticed that. Makes sense once you think about it. That's just one of the little things I noticed. Certainly, not the most important. Just goes to show how much easier it is to learn something from someone who knows what they're doing.
I have a real mental block when it comes to the box. For some reason it feels alien to sit back on the thing. I *think* I sit further back when it isn't there, but who knows. This was the second time I've tried them and I stunk! LOL Push out with your knees! Sit back, back, back. Stay tight, tight, tight. Use your hamstrings! Drive into the bar! Let's just say that if there was a mistake to be made, I'm pretty sure I made it. Heck, I probably invented a few! One time I just sat. BOOM! I know that's the idea, but I'd totally relaxed my lower half before I hit the box. I think that would be a huge owie without a box there.
Spatts noticed I was thrusting my hips way forward as I stood and pointed out that with a lot of weight, that could be injurious. Hannibal demonstrated how to drive your head back into the bar (is that the right term?) when you start back up. I knew I was supposed to do it, but I know I haven't been doing it and never quite got the idea before. Wouldn't have blamed him if he'd washed his hands of me. I hope he didn't, though! Project has lots of good vids from this. I think he's hoping to make a killing on blackmail payoffs.
Also realized why a good pair of shoes is necessary to the entire equation! Woke up this morning and have been practicing "box" squats on every low, sturdy object in the house. I think I need to stick to just the bar until I get my form perfected.
Not one of them pointed or even laughed. Or if they did, I didn't see them!
Good Mornings
Next were chain suspended arched back good mornings. I think that's what we were doing? I had to ask Spatts why we were starting these bent over. It helps build your strength and explosiveness and I totally forgot whether that was the concentric or the eccentric we were starting with. Hmmmm ... this might have been when Spatts mentioned my excessive hip thrust. Yeah, I think it was.
I've never done these before. They were kind of fun but I think I was forgetting to arch my back. GRRRR I know better than that! Do you ever want to do so well that instead you wind up screwing up everything? My last set of 3 (and I can't believe I forgot what the weight was since this was a PR for me!) I squatted up. I stopped then (probably should have tried one more but chickened out) and had the fun of watching the other three go for PRs. I think Spatts hit two (?) of them. You can learn a lot about how all of them stand back and just focus focus focus on the lift before they attempt it. I knew Spatts was going to try again because I saw that "look" in her eye. You have no idea how terrific it is to lift with someone who doesn't quit!
LOL She had to teach me how to rerack the bar in both exercises. Since I'm self-taught, I'd just been muddling through on my own. It's really simple once someone shows you.
Deadlifts
They wanted to make sure they helped me with everything I had questions about before the night was over, so I asked them to take a look at my deadlift form. Spatts actually said I had good form!!! Yes, there are things I need to work on. I could afford to stand closer to the bar than I was. She said I grip and rip like she does. I honestly don't think when I pull. I just concentrate on keeping my back arched and trying to keep my upper body pulling in sync with the push from my lower. So if I'm doing anything right, it's sheer luck! Hannibal noted that I tend to bend my arms at lockout, thus lifting the bar up when I don't have to. Never realized I was doing it!
Bench & JMs
They wanted to check out my bench technique even though this wasn't a bench night (I really appreciate that!). That reminded me to ask about JMs since I was having a hard time visualizing them. I told Spatts I had either been doing close grip benches or JMs for tris since I wasn't sure I was attempting the JMs correctly.
I need to remember to dig in my shoulder blades and spread my legs more so I can get a really good push with my bench. Spatts had me hold my arms in front of me and then flex my lats back. You save a good 4 or 5 inches on lockout that way.
A PL Bench is also different on where you hit in your body. I'd learned the BB method where the bar is closer to your chest. They press the bar more toward the feet so it lowers at the very bottom of your chest/top of upper abs. Again, this saves distance for lockout and is a heck of a lot easier on the shoulders.
I need to remember to keep my wrists in line with my elbows. I let my hands bend way back. Looks like I need to add in more grip work? I have carpal tunnel and know my wrists are weak.
Speaking of shoulders, Spatts had me try a nifty little movement with a plate to see whether I had rotator problems. She caught me using my traps to help lift it. When she had me try again using just the shoulder, I couldn't get it up all the way. Yep. Lousy rotators.
JMs were interesting. First, they told me everyone does them different. I don't' feel so bad about being confused now. They kept a wider grip than I would have expected on a tricep exercise. They suggested I might not want to bring the bar so low unless I want to lose some teeth once I add weight!
Accessory Work
I got to try a Glute/Ham machine (AKA Devil Machine) for the first time ever. Since these are rare in gyms, I'll tell you that the first challenge is getting on the darned thing. The next challenge is persevering with the movement once you've ripped your hamstrings from their moorings. Okay. They did laugh when I squeaked "I've got hamstrings!" and believe you me, my hamstrings were letting me know it! Well, being a weak BFB, I wound up doing partials on this more than the full ROM. They really were fun, despite the pain. Either that or I'm warped. Most likely both.
Also did pull-throughs and pull-down abs. Project and Spatts made me try the pull-throughs at the weight they were using and I did them! Hoody Hoo! I skipped the spread eagled situps since I suspect that I'd be starting at spread-eagled crunches Those look like something to make my DH help me with.
All-in-all I had a terrific night and felt more energized than I have in a long while post workout. I just hope I remember everything they tried to teach me.
And for anyone who wonders, Spatts is as gorgeous in person as she is in her avatars (and I don't even go for women!). She's muscular and feminine both and I still can't believe she weighs as much as she says she does. I weigh about 50 pounds more than her but I bet you could fit two Spatts into one pair of 2Shy sweats. Project has a face. I wasn't sure after seeing his avatar ... He's not as pale as some folks were teasing him about either. Apparently, he's the resident blackm--erm--photographer. Hannibal is one tall fellow, quiet and intense with an underlying sense of humor. The three of them together were terrific. They make a great trio with the right amount of encouragement and friendly competition. They really love what they're doing (sorry guys if "love" is too fru fru a word for you!). It was a privilege to meet and work with them.
I can't come close to thanking the Asylum enough for letting a rank beginner like me play with them. I wish I had knowledge I could share with them in turn, but alas, I don't. Sometimes you just have to accept a gift--and this was a truly awesome gift--with grace and simple thanks.
Now, I know I forgot things to include in my report, but for now, that's all the news that is the news. Besides, I see those nice young men coming to fit me in a new jacket. I hear straps are in this season ....