Smurfy,
Am I the only one who has ever played strip parchese?
You should totally have sex with him. Then if he sucks in bed, come back and talk trash about him. That would be funny as hell. Like even the name "Lumberg" could become synonamous with lousy sex. Posters could go around saying stuff like "I did it with this girl I met at the club last night, but it was totally Lumberg"
Even if he doesn't suck, say he did. It's much funnier that way.