Tell me the worst sex you ever had.

[glennds]

i vote crak600 above post best post of the thread. that was truly funny. i had a rotten day crak, thanks for the great laugh.

 

[jerkbox]

i might never have sex again after reading some of this shit.....especially the stuff about smelly broads....

 

[juiceddreadlocks]

my devirgining experience actually. she was also chaste.


it was so tight that it burned like hell and gosh dang it was only like a 10 minute experience but i was more tore up than her by the end i swear. it was worse than the top of a milk jug i had been practicing on.

 

[cheddar cheese]

And then that one time I set my tricks pubic hair on fire...

 

[Lestat]

OMFG!


Those are some of the nastiest stories.

I am so happy to be female now.




3rd rule of really hot sweet sex - DO NOT under any circumstance partake in oral sex where one or more parties has not showered in the very very recent past.

OH GOD and no oral after pooping - that's just nasty I don't care how much I love you or how good you are in the sack - you're taking a damn shower.

Your reponse brings up a couple of good points.

One, you are glad you are a woman, which is great, I am glad you are too, but its ironic that all women say that and all men say they are glad to be men.

I can't imagine being a woman. Having every guy in the world hit on you, but 90% of them (or more) are insincere and just trying to get laid.. I don't know if I could handle that (as a woman).. as a guy it would be great.. but I dunno. As a man I love the challenge of women, its almost never a sure thing, even when you think it is, you chase it all the way till the end.. I don't imagine women having that same chase feeling as much.

As far as shower and oral... i talked with my guy friends about it, and we all agree for the most part on timing.. this is not specific.. but basically here is how I break it down...

For oral to take place, there must have been a shower within the last 4 hours or so.... chowing down in the evening when the last shower was in the morning is just not cool.. everyone sweats.. bacteria and shit grow.. its not cool. I know my shit sweats too and I wouldn't expect a woman to blow me if it had been 10-12 hours since the last shower.

For any asshole licking, its gotta be within 30 minutes of a nice thorough hot shower...

Also, as you said, the poop thing voids all times.. if you took a shower 3 hours ago, but 1 hour after that, no oral, and no doggy style! The smell of ass is just replusive when you are having sex.. its a quick way to lose an erection.

 

[biteme]

i don't really wanna recount my story in detail...

basically she smelled really bad, and her natural lubrication was much thicker then any other woman's i had encountered... white and thick and smelled worse then you can imagine.....

i flipped her over doggy style and tried not to look at the white crap on my cock and tried not to breath... and said "im gonna cum".. she said "nooo!" cuz it had only been 10 minutes or so.. but there was no way I was gonna prolong this experience any longer then i had too...

i blew my load... took the condom off.. went to the bathroom and washed my cock and hands off with hot water and almost all the soap she had.

ick.. thinking about it gives me the heebie jeebies....


the second worst time was just oral.. it was in college.. a female friend of mine was drinking and horny.. and I always had a hard time turning down chicks when I lived in the dorms... it was too easy.. so many hot horny women within walking distance....

anyway, this story is interesting, but I gotta go so I can tell how it all lead to this.. but what it did lead to was she giving me oral and then me giving her oral..

problem was, she smelled HORRIBLE... i couldn't believe it.. it was my first encounter with a pussy that smelled bad.. and this wasn't bad, it as nausiating.. i literally was gagging due to the smell and taste... it was probably because it was like 4am at the time and she hadn't showered since 8am.. but still.. fuck, I was blindsided by it..

I tried to drool a lot... so that my saliva might mask the taste and smell... and i tried to use my fingers more and mouth less... i wasn't gonna stop until she came though... that woulda been the death nail for my game in the dorms.. being known as the guy that gets but doesn't give... so I stayed in there for a solid 10 minutes or so until she came.. and then I was outta there.. my room was like 30 seconds down the hall.. so I went there quick, got my shower stuff and took the hottest shower possible.. washed my face forever it seemed like.

I hope to never encounter that smell again.

That is so grosss. I laughed my ass off reading this. I'm so glad that I'm a virgin.

 

[starfish]

 

[buddy28]

I fucked a girl so good/hard one night she shit in my bed. Seriously. Twice.

 

[corythosaurus]

I fucked a girl so good/hard one night she shit in my bed. Seriously. Twice.

You fucked a girl so hard she shit your bed? And you were alright with that to do it again?

 

[jerkbox]

lmao